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Newbies: Mind movies and dark thoughts - how to stop them

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anoka posted 4/17/2017 18:12 PM

I'm not criticizing the OP - at least I don't mean to. I'm happy for every single person that this helps.

Most BH's rugsweep their feelings and suffer in relative silence for the rest of their lives. I'm all in favor of anything that can help these men find peace.

minusone posted 5/19/2017 19:30 PM

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yenko posted 5/19/2017 21:09 PM

This is a very interesting topic. I am 3 weeks post DDAY and I have to admit I have been struggling with the dreaded mind movies and thoughts. I have actually been practicing this same technique on my own and didn't realize it is a tried and developed exercise. Since one of my passions is restoring classic cars, I start with a barn find car and restore that car piece by piece in my head. After 15 minutes I have a completed project. Does it take away the pain for the entire day? No it doesn't, but it sure comes in handy for those moments where your hyperventilating and your heart is pounding. btw the rubberband on the wrist has it's merits as well but my wrist looks like hamburger right now.

Thanks heartbroken_kk Great Post!

Blackrose17 posted 5/20/2017 15:12 PM

This is exactly what I needed right now. Thank you many times over for taking the time to share. It's not about avoidance at all. It's about breaking that loop of thoughts which can be very destructive. I'll be trying this often.

wantingtotrust posted 5/20/2017 21:40 PM

Great post!

StillLivin posted 6/6/2017 00:16 AM

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minusone posted 7/11/2017 05:43 AM

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minusone posted 7/24/2017 14:50 PM

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hcsv posted 7/25/2017 10:54 AM

Thank you!!!!!

Seven mile run this morning and I made the biggest fruit salad in my mind.. I think it took a good two miles just to cut the watermelon.

Great advice.

minusone posted 8/18/2017 06:24 AM

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fancypants39 posted 8/18/2017 07:51 AM

This is fabulous.

Thank you

Grievous posted 8/18/2017 17:57 PM

So glad I read the beginning of this thread. My WS was watching porn, visiting strip clubs, carrying around erectile dysfunction pills (no sex happening at home - his choice), doing drugs. Died more than 2 years ago. Said he was sorry and asked for forgiveness shortly before death, but never revealed the extent of his betrayal. I get stuck because I want to institute the 180 and show him I mean business, so I play out scenes the way I wish I'd done when it was all happening. I'm going to try this to stop the ruminating and mind movies.

Jen posted 8/21/2017 06:34 AM

minusone posted 8/31/2017 06:32 AM

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Jewel44 posted 8/31/2017 10:45 AM

Thank you! Such a great idea!

Jen posted 9/17/2017 17:03 PM

minusone posted 10/4/2017 18:20 PM

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minusone posted 10/10/2017 05:42 AM

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RaindropsTricks posted 10/10/2017 18:27 PM

This is wonderful. Thank you!

I have to admit that I did have the same thoughts that Anoka relayed. Let's say I think of my WH cheating and I get furious or sad (as I tend to!) when is it a good time to share/confront your WS about them and when is it a good time to stop those thoughts and focus on something else?

I don't want him to forget what he did to me and I don't want him to think because I'm having a good day all is forgiven . . So I struggle with whether or not I should 'switch' the negative in my head . .

minusone posted 10/31/2017 06:11 AM

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