When I was going through all the worst of my discoveries after 2002, there were no internet support groups I ever came across specifically for betrayed spouses of guys who used prostitutes. It wasn't until 2017, 15 years after my horrible D-Day 1, that I discovered this great website. Finally, here I found a few other wives who'd lived the kind of crazy this particular form of infidelity brings with it. Not the kind of infidelity where they profess their "lurve" for another, but the kind of Infidelity where they actually seem to love you to death, cling like a tick, will do ANYTHING to save their broken Marriage, only to act out in the most heartless, insane way behind your back whenever they take a fancy.
So here on SI, under I Can Relate, there are 2 forums, Spouses of Sex Addicts and Emotionless Infidelity. Both forums were/are useful case histories even though neither is very active lately. I just wish I had been counselled with what I try to share here, but from 2002 to 2017, no peer support group online I came across was able to offer me feedback based on my posts like I have tried to offer you.
I didn't live in an area with SAnon groups. All I knew to do - short of Divorce - was order a lot of books on the topic, spend a ton of time doing online research, go back to school to study abnormal psychology, participate for years on a Marriage forum (which didn't help me as most of it was irrelevant to EI) and after D-Day 2, got him to sign a property settlement agreement. I was on the floor emotionally for years! Yet all during those years, I kept refusing to believe the man I chose to M would really prove to be so seriously screwed up as some of the others I'd read about. Except I was wrong. Just don't want that outcome for anyone else.
Looking back, what I see now is the power of the narrative I kept telling myself: that what I wanted to see happen for him, for us, would eventually be realized when he would heal the character defects he brought with him, had admitted to, repented of, and sought counseling for, etc., etc.
Wouldn't that have been the best outcome? Of course it would have been...at least for him, it would have been. After his 2014 arrest for soliciting, he saw 2 CSATs on the advice of his defense attorney, primarily to show the sentencing judge how he was "turning it around." That also did no good, as he eventually - we're talking years and years later - re-offended with more lies, further broken pledges, and more hidden internet porn. All would always be revealed by my accidental discovery of dishonesty.
So, if my examples paint too sad of a picture to share, even as a warning, I wouldn't really blame anyone for rejecting them.