Evio (original poster new member #85720) posted at 3:46 PM on Sunday, March 9th, 2025
Hi I'm 9 weeks out from finding out my husband had a 2 year affair (1 year PA and 1 year EA) 12 years ago. It was with his best man's wife and when my 3 rd child was born. This means SHE is in my wedding pictures and I feel the memories and photos of my child's first 2 years including Christmas, holidays, birthdays and christening are all tainted by his betrayal 馃槱
We are working on reconciliation and he is doing everything he can to repair the damage he caused but what do I do about the memories and photos? If it was from before the kids, I'd chuck the photos but I can't chuck my child's baby pics.
Anyone else in this situation? What did you do?
Miserylikescompany ( member #83993) posted at 4:13 PM on Sunday, March 9th, 2025
9 weeks is early early days. My advice is to do nothing rash now. Put them in a drawer out of sight and let time pass. You will know what to do later on, MUCH later on. You are still in the shock phase and will be for months.
I couldn't look at any pics at all from the time of my H's A for a loooong time after DD. And those pics weren't even half as triggering as yours are, just mundane everyday pics not with AP in them. It was just that any pics from the months the A took place immediately made me feel physically sick and my heart started pounding. These days, it's not like that anymore. I do always think to myself, 'this was mid affair'. But now it's just a passing thought, not triggering and just sort of a sad memory that passes through my mind.
Perhaps some time in the future you can have the wedding pics scanned and professionally retouched to have her removed from them? Just don't do anything that can't be undone like burning/chucking them out.
[This message edited by Miserylikescompany at 4:15 PM, Sunday, March 9th]
Evio (original poster new member #85720) posted at 4:30 PM on Sunday, March 9th, 2025
Thank you for your reply. She's only in one picture but her husband as best man is in several. My husband did suggest getting them redone one day. For now they are all in the garage as I took down every picture on D day. Technology doesn't help though as my phone constantly pipes up with 'memories' which is so difficult. I have also left Facebook to avoid looking HER up 馃槱 kind of wish I looked bed in a time before technology....although it was was quite cathartic using a photo editor to draw dicks on her head in the pics I found online 馃ぃ
WoodThrush2 ( member #85057) posted at 2:37 AM on Monday, March 10th, 2025
This is so very hard Evio....my heart is out to you. As other said, do nothing rash at this point, although you definatly feel like it. Go through the process, day by day. Seek God to strengthen and guide you. As easy as it is to think everything was a lie, the fact is it was not. If you choose to reconcile, it will take a long time and lots of work to arrive at a common story. You mind and heart will be working overtime to realign. Everything you are feeling is normal....please keep that in mind. Again, read Betrayal Bind, and find and listen to Jake Porter. Praying for you.
