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Newest Member: DCS72

Divorce/Separation :
It’s Happening

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 InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 1:06 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

Had our first official court appearance today. I’m feeling really hopeful that the process of getting divorced is not going to be as hellish as it could be. I feel light, hopeful. There are still things to be settled, but it’s happening, as it needs to.

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2445   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8855339
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JasonCh ( member #80102) posted at 1:32 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

It is a lot InkHulk. i hope it goes as smoothly as it can for you and your kids. Peace.

posts: 574   ·   registered: Mar. 18th, 2022
id 8855342
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:39 AM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

I hope things go smoothly for you, IH. The light at the end of the tunnel - and it isn't a train.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4001   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8855346
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Notsogreatexpectations ( new member #85289) posted at 2:54 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

In the sixth century BC, Lao Tzu said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Here’s to every step you take to a better future!

posts: 38   ·   registered: Sep. 25th, 2024   ·   location: US
id 8855376
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:32 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

Ink -

Sending positive mojo for a smooth process and peace for you in the near future.

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 4:33 PM, Tuesday, December 3rd]

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6239   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8855385
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:43 PM on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

Another one here for hoping that all goes smoothly. We had a few blips but for the most part it was business and just putting one foot in front of the other. The worst part of D was paying for it, but it has been worth every penny ;)

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8922   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8855429
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 1:36 AM on Wednesday, December 4th, 2024

Step by step, Ink. I'm glad you've figured out your path.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30529   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8855438
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FindingaWayHome ( member #78829) posted at 9:09 AM on Thursday, December 5th, 2024

Hi IH,

Hang in there brother, I can appreciate that despite this significant step, it is still a challenging time.
How are you and the kids processing this divorce process?

Regards,
FAWH

posts: 151   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2021
id 8855554
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1994 ( member #82615) posted at 3:21 PM on Thursday, December 5th, 2024

No one can accuse you of not exhausting every possibility to make this work. You're going to thrive.

posts: 227   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2022   ·   location: USA
id 8855575
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 1:33 AM on Friday, December 6th, 2024

My prayers are with you, Ink!

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 2125   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8855617
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 5:12 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2024

Fingers crossed for you Ink!
Getting divorced sucks no matter what. But being divorced is amazing grin Hoping your path to the other side is as smooth as possible!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3921   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8855767
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 InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 12:46 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2024

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I can’t say enough how important this community has been to me, you can genuinely think of it like saving a life.

How are you and the kids processing this divorce process?

Dear brother, I’m going to choose to at least delay answering this. I don’t want to post anything online that she could even remotely possibly use against me.

To all of us, I pray for a peaceful and joy filled Christmas season. God have mercy on us all.

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2445   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8855813
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 6:18 PM on Sunday, December 8th, 2024

I’m glad you’re moving forward. Peace and love to you and your children as you proceed and move through the holiday season.

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 672   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8855854
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farsidejunky ( member #49392) posted at 4:31 PM on Tuesday, December 10th, 2024

I hope this process is a pain free and favorable towards you and the children as is humanly possible.

One step closer, brother.

“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

-Maya Angelou

posts: 673   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2015   ·   location: Tennessee
id 8856003
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FindingaWayHome ( member #78829) posted at 2:08 AM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2024

Hi IH,

Good to hear from you brother.

I do enjoy reading your (thought provoking) threads, but I must confess that over the past few months I've avoided posting because I really wanted to ask about your family, especially about the kids and their response to the news concerning your divorce (knowing that you had previously described them as being a little stoic like their mother - although I was impressed by the response of your son - sounds like he has a little of the Hulk in him)
because I can appreciate your caution in responding

Dear brother, I’m going to choose to at least delay answering this. I don’t want to post anything online that she could even remotely possibly use against me.

Hang in there mate, you have our prayers and support.
And to you and your family we also want to bless you with a peaceful and joy filled Christmas season.
I pray that God will continue to pour His mercy on us all.

Grace, hope and peace,
FAWH.

posts: 151   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2021
id 8856058
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