Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: cobblerock

Divorce/Separation :
I finally left!

Topic is Sleeping.
default

 HataBlocka (original poster new member #74208) posted at 3:13 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024

I had posted here a few times a while back and I just wasn’t ready to leave him. I thought that I couldn’t. I was beat down and manipulated so badly. He would tell me I would never survive financially without him. He would say that no one will ever want me and then I just settled for him and crap like that.
I just wanted to say that I have been no contact for 10 months. I had to take a order protection out on him and he violated it and stalked me and has been in jail and there are still criminal charges pending, but we have been divorced since last July and I have had zero communication with him since April so for 10 months now and it has been really really hard, but I am so proud of myself, and I just wanted to thank everyone who made all the comments or spoke to me and encouraged me, because even though I wasn’t ready, then, I did ultimately leave and all the words that you say do matter, and do stick in peoples heads and help them to make their decision…when they’re ready.

posts: 7   ·   registered: Apr. 14th, 2020   ·   location: Tennessee
id 8823775
default

pearlamici ( member #67631) posted at 3:23 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024

Good for you!! Stay safe and take care of yourself.

~Bad marriages don’t cause affairs. Affairs cause bad marriages.~

posts: 457   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2018   ·   location: NY
id 8823778
default

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:26 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024

Look how strong you are! We understand how difficult that must’ve been for you and I’m so happy that you’re finding peace after such a grueling ordeal. I hope you see your strength and realize that you’re going to be just fine. Take care of yourself and best wishes for ongoing healing.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6059   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8823787
default

BallofAnxiety ( member #82853) posted at 8:45 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024

Thanks for sharing! It's so good to hear there's light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Me: BW. XCH: ONS 2006; DDay 12/2022 "it was only online," trickle truth until 1/2023 - "it was 1 year+ affair with MCOW." Divorced 4/2024.

posts: 142   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2023   ·   location: USA
id 8823817
default

leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 11:05 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024

Congratulations! I am so very proud of you!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8823840
default

WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:14 AM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024

Don’t you just LOVE how they tell us no one will ever want us, belittle us, abuse us because we are so awful…and then STALK us when we leave?🤣🤣🤣. LOOOOSERS!!!

Congratulations on leaving! You have done a very good thing!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4520   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8823847
default

Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 4:12 AM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024

OMG! I am so impressed by you. Isn't it amazing when you realize that you are able to be ok on your own? Yes, it's hard but it's worth it, because you learn just how wonderful you are on your own. With no one beating you down. You go girl!

posts: 1730   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8823859
default

EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:16 PM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024

Good for you!!!! I am glad you were able to choose your healing path and are heading towards "the best is yet to come".

because even though I wasn’t ready, then, I did ultimately leave and all the words that you say do matter, and do stick in peoples heads and help them to make their decision…when they’re ready.

Exactly. I stayed way longer than I should have as well. But to this day, I remember the words folks said to me on here that were lightbulb moments and pivotal to where I am today.

Posts like yours are so important for folks that are just lurking. I know for me I found great inspiration in reading posts from folks standing in the light on the other side.

You keep on doing you friend. Keep growing/healing, etc.

I hope your ex doesn't rear his ugliness again but if he does, remember you are a million times stronger now.

You got this.

posts: 6903   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8823865
default

Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:41 PM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024

I wish you peace and healing.

I too stayed too long.

"He would say that no one will ever want me"

That is a lie right out of the nasty cheater book of lies.

ex wh used this line to abuse me, and he is so wrong.
Although I am in an exclusive relationship now, there was never any shortage of high quality men in my personal dateable demographic.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1675   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8823868
default

little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 8:42 PM on Sunday, February 11th, 2024

So proud of you!!!

I'm another one who took longer than necessary to leave, but finally did! Couldn't have done it without SI.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5612   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8824259
default

homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 11:47 AM on Monday, February 12th, 2024

Awesome!!! It’s amazing how "no contact" gives us a true perspective on the big picture.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5503   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8824300
default

crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:18 PM on Monday, February 12th, 2024

Good for you and for staying No Contact. I also stayed far too long. Leaving and getting a D is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of strength and perseverance to get through it.

Don’t you just LOVE how they tell us no one will ever want us, belittle us, abuse us because we are so awful…and then STALK us when we leave?

Isn't that the truth^ my XWS also told me I couldn't make it on my own but I have and have been actually saving money since I left him... HA! He also stalked me when I left and absolutely flipped out when he found out I was dating someone. He wanted to confront my boyfriend and I threatened to slap a retraining order on him. He since stopped the stalking and found himself a gf (which they have already broken up. That's 2 now lol).

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 7:18 PM, Monday, February 12th]

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorcing

posts: 8834   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8824330
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20240712a 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy