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Newest Member: Dander33159

Divorce/Separation :
Annulment received. Why does it hurt

Topic is Sleeping.

 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 3:18 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Ok. I guess I didn’t realize. But when your marriage is illegal because your ex is a bigamist, the courts can annul your marriage without your signature.

24 years and it is over. Dissolved.

No one cared to ask me for anything.

Kinda hurts to know your life as you knew it, never really was

To be redefined

posts: 2200   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8805247

Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 3:25 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Wow. I'm so sorry Tallgirl. I just can't imagine. You must feel so invisible. There is nothing worse. But at least it's done and you are free. Free to be Tallgirl in all her glory.

posts: 1716   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8805248

 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 3:50 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023


Invisible is a good word for it. I didn’t think of that.

Just an email recipient.

To be redefined

posts: 2200   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8805250

 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 3:54 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

And thank you. 😊

To be redefined

posts: 2200   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8805251

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:13 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

That would be trippy. And really unpleasant. I’m sorry the system forgot that you are a living feeling human being.
I hope it does mean the start of an amazing new beginning for you to live your tallest life :-)

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5701   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8805253

rambler ( member #43747) posted at 4:25 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

You feel bad because of the person you are. You certainly did not deserve this.

making it through

posts: 1401   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014   ·   location: Chicago
id 8805254

BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 4:48 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Tallgirl, I can empathize why you'd feel this way, I mean the bigamy thing on top of the adultery is insane for sure. But you have your truth, which is that your intentions were honest, you lived by that, and whatever the legal situation was doesn't define your history. Stand tall, be proud of the life that you lived, and go forward to a better future. Big hug.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3405   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8805295

crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:35 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

I'm sorry that it hurts I can understand especially the whole thing being a lie. I felt that my whole M was a lie as I found out many more D-Days that happened previously to when I discovered his first A. There are no words for that feeling. It does feel like time wasted. At least I know the time I spent with my children, friends and family were real.

I hope that this begins a new slate for you to have a full life filled with many new memories and amazing times ahead.

fBS/fWS(me):50 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(20) DS(17)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014

posts: 8632   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8805305

fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 7:37 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Tallgirl, you have been heard. I am sorry you feel invisible in this whole matter. Sending support. I agree with BrokenheartedUK that your life is genuine and real. Your commitment and devotion to your M and family is real. Your EXWH is the one who did not exist as he presented. He is a facade and invisible because he did not exist. You deserve the best moving forward. Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3738   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8805320

Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 11:14 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Sending ((virtual hugs)). This stuff is so hard. I am very sorry you experienced this.
All of the feelings we have are genuine and valid.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1473   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8805355

The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:32 PM on Thursday, August 24th, 2023

I am so sorry.

Sending you a virtual hug (and a tall glass of your favorite beverage).

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 13687   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8805384

 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 5:04 PM on Thursday, August 24th, 2023

Thank you all. I appreciate your kind words with gratitude.

Now we are discussing should we tell our adult children. Ex doesn’t want to. I do.

I think they deserve the truth

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 5:53 PM, Thursday, August 24th]

To be redefined

posts: 2200   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8805404

TheEnd ( member #72213) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, August 24th, 2023

Man Tallgirl I can't imagine how hard this is for you.

As for telling your adult kids, you should do what YOU think is right. Lord knows that man doesn't have a good grasp of right from wrong so trust yourself and your children.

You don't have to answer this if it's too personal but how does the anullment impact a divorce settlement? Are you just left in the cold because you weren't "legally" married?

posts: 518   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2019
id 8805405

notperfect5 ( member #43330) posted at 5:32 AM on Friday, August 25th, 2023

If you are discussing annulment, then I assume you're Catholic. In the 1950s and earlier there were like 600 annulments a year, worldwide. Now there are tens of thousands in the US. This isn't a change in the number of people going insane or brothers and sister unknowingly marring one another. It is the annulment process that has taken hold since Vatican 2. I hurts because God hates divorce and you are a victim of the corrupted process. So sorry this is happening to you.

Me: 55 BH Her: 52 WW - Edith12
DDay 8/13 EA, fake R
Turned PA on 4/27/14 and fake R
PA during MC and my IC and her IC through 12/14
Polygraph on 4/30/15, TT 5/5/15.. TT on 10/4/15, 2nd Poly and TT 11/17/15
DD's 23, 21, 18, 15 DS

posts: 1222   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Southeast
id 8805466

FunHouseMirror ( member #80992) posted at 7:31 AM on Friday, August 25th, 2023

Not, did you even read her first post? She didn't ask for or want an annulment. The courts declared the marriage as invalid (annulled) because he was married to two people at the same time.

It's your opinion that God hates divorce. But we are in the divorce forum.

posts: 186   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2022
id 8805472

BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 4:05 AM on Saturday, August 26th, 2023

NP5, unbeknownst to TallGirl, her husband was still married to another woman when he married her, which means her marriage is invalid both in the eyes of the state and the Church (if she’s Catholic).

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 1659   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8805688
Topic is Sleeping.
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