SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi JSG

I really hope you keep this thread going for a while. I enjoy reading your positive updates. In the sea of misery that SI tends to be, this is a welcome respite.

BTW, congrats on your new place.

Ditto. Like hearing about the updates. Plus, I like hearing about the friends your kids bring by. There are so many kids that don't have the support of their family that it's difficult to understand.

After the fact, I found out that we were the "cool" family because we accepted the kids as they were at the time...even though we were the "conservative Christian" family. The important thing is to let them have a place to just be.

Thank you all for your comments. If anyone would have told me five years ago that this is where I would be, I would have scoffed at it. Infidelity had so destroyed me that I could see no was to be anything but completely broken.

Just thought I'd post an update. We've been in the new place for about a month now and it feels more like home. I'm having challenges with the fireplace as it smokes up the house. I've watched videos and spoken to buddies,but no solution. I think I'm going to call some experts in to give me advice and clean the chimney. Ive come to really love coming home and building a nice fire in the evening. It's been healing.

I've finally settled on the kitchen design and solved all of the little quirky problems. It is a very small space, so I've worked hard to create as much usable storage space as I can. Sent the request to the strata council and waiting to order the cabinets. Then some minor prep and a wall extension. It will be nice to have a usable kitchen to cook in again.

My bedroom has become a sanctuary of sorts. It's large enough that I was able to place an armchair and side table in a corner, so I have a quiet place whe kids have friends over. Plus the rooftop deck will be great in the warmer months. I'm looking forward to using it often. Not sure how I will fill the space as there is no covering from rain or snow. I'd love to hear suggestions though.

So that's it for now...

If I had a rooftop space I'd get a small six or eight inch telescope. One with goto capability. Ed Ting on YouTube for ideas on which.

Folding table and chairs for warm weather relaxation.

Great idea Dman. I have an astronomy binoculars I bought at a garage sale. I'll have to try them out when it gets warmer.

Just ordered the cabinets on Friday. Kitchen gut came over and didn't get final measurement. He ended up staying for a beer and we chatted for about an hour. Nice guy.

It's funny that his relationship mirrors shat mine was like in many ways. His partner lives in her body and isn't interested in thoughtful discussion, so he seeks it elsewhere. Two solitudes I guess...

Well everyone, I thought I'd send a quick update about the new place and the next chapter. We are sort of settled now, with 90% of the unpacking done. I've finally sorted the fireplace out, so I've been enjoying quiet evenings by the fire. I cannot tell you how healing it is.

The cabinets arrive next month, so I will finally have a usable kitchen. I can't wait to be able to really cook again. And now, I'll be able to have people over. This whole move has been a net positive thing. I feel like bits of me are coming back, like I'm slowly unearthing something long buried. Funny thing, I think I started to bury that stuff decades before my WW's cheating came to light.

My daughters are settling in as well. My older one is getting comfortable and thinks of this place as "home". My younger is taking it slower. She graduates this year and I suspect she will move in with me full-time. It will be nice to have both girls home with me.

Things are expensive, so I have a few side gigs going on my days off. I do some extra contact work for the government, drive wine tours, and build sets for the local opera company. Even with all the extra work, I find myself bored. Just goes to show you how much work being married was.

So that's it for now. I'm slowly settling into my new life. The biggest thing I have is peace, lots of it. So as I write this, I'm cooking up some pulled pork for dinner. My daughter has her guy over and it should be a nice, relaxing night.

Quiet nights by the fire sound heavenly. So glad you're doing well, JSG. An added bonus is that your DDs are starting to settle in. Glad you're finding peace and able to find joy.

Any updates, JSG? I'd love to hear about a crackling fire or visit to your favorite pub, or dancing lessons.

Just thought I'd post an update since you asked. I've stopped my antidepressants as it don't seem to need them anymore. Feeling very much more positive about life now. Weird, never thought I'd see positive again.

I start ripping out the old kitchen next week and doing the prep work for the kitchen cabinet installers.

I've solved the fireplace issues and now use it every night, regularly falling asleep from the warmth. I cannotveven begin to tell you how healing it's been.

I've started exploring the new neighborhood. It is amazingly walkable with pubs, restaurants, shopping, and rec facilities.

I've even signed up for online dating again. I've met some nice women through the chat function and one has asked to meet. One really nice woman lives in Spokane, 5 hours away, and we connected before I toggled my filters. Too bad, as she seems like someone I could connect with. I plan on going forward with a more open/growth mindset. I feel very much better after moving into this place, like I am really starting a new chapter in my life.

JSG

Just wanted to say thanks for your update. I enjoy reading those "rising from ashes" stories. It really sounds like you’re finding happiness and peace these days and I hope it continues.

Please keep us updating on your progress no matter how trivial. You have at least one fan here!

Isn't that feeling of contentment the best? No more walking on egg shells, trying to figure out what mood the spouse is in...just chillaxin' by the fire.

Sounds like an awesome neighborhood.

Good luck on the kitchen. I hope everything goes smoothly.

Thanks Leafields!

Good to see you moving forward and healing. Also, for being able to wean yourself off of antidepressants. You deserve a good life.