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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

Divorce/Separation :
And so it begins...

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 wantnomore (original poster member #71871) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, November 11th, 2022

It was nine months ago today I found out what she was up to. If you're interested, here's my thread from that day.
https://survivinginfidelity.com/forums/?tid=655806&HL=71871
It wasn't her first time cheating on me, but it is now her last.

After nine months of limbo, basically living like roommates in the house and only communicating when we had to handle kid logistics or business of the house matters, we have both lawyered up. She beat me doing this by a few days, so her guy got the paperwork in first, and it will go down in the books as her call. That's ok by me. She's reading out of the cheaters playbook and placing all the blame on me, so when nothing changes for her after its done she'll finally have to realize that she may actually have been the one who fucked up.

The time has been good to me as well, I am in a very good headspace. I'm not feeling any grief over this, I've done that already. If anything, I'm eager for the process to play out so I can have my new beginning.

I never would have thought I would have gotten to this place all those months ago. For anyone else who's in the process, if I can get there, you can too. Take care of yourself. Get help, rely on others. Be good to yourself, and realize you are MIGHTY!!

Me: BH (56)Her: STBXWW (51)DDays - 9/10/01, 10/15/19, 7/3/21, 2/11/22.I'm dumb, but I do learn eventually.Starting D ASAP.

posts: 117   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2019   ·   location: Great Lakes region
id 8764833
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 4:36 AM on Saturday, November 12th, 2022

Glad you're in a good headspace. Life on the other side is great.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1494   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8764870
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:07 PM on Saturday, November 12th, 2022

Happy to hear you are healing and moving forward. Just be forewarned that every now and then a wave of grief might sneak up— and that is okay. You just process it and move on, and it takes less and less time to do that as you continue to move forward.

The feeling of peace when you are no longer living under the unseen stress and anxiety living with a cheater, where every cell in your body feels under attack, is amazing. Yes you can still be sad about what happened, but your body and mind will start to relax and you will realize what a pressure cooker you had been living in.

Keep taking care of yourself and congratulations on getting out of infidelity!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5103   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8764933
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