SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So if you spend any time on social media, or at the grocery store checkout line, you've probably seen that Adam Levine is being accused (now by multiple women) of cheating on his wife, Behati Prinsloo.

And just now signing onto email, news ads pop up on the top of the sign on screen, and it said "Celtics coach may face suspension for 'improper' relationship." I don't follow sports, but curiosity got the best of me, so I clicked on the link and the coach, Ime Udoka, who has supposedly been in a relationship Nia Long since 2010, was involved in an "improper intimate and consensual relationship with a female member of the team staff."

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. First of all, my heart goes out to these women. It's bad enough to be cheated on, but it must be 1000x worse to do so in the public eye.

But... and part of me feels terrible about this, because I wouldn't wish the nightmare of dealing with infidelity on anyone... One thing that I've been... happy isn't the right word. Maybe comforted? Or vindicated? Is I'm seeing people share posts and memes putting the blame on Adam Levine and Ime Udoka for being cheaters.

No insinuations about how there's two sides of the story, or that they cheated because of a bad relationship, or that it must have been twu wuv/they were meant to be together (like Brittany & Jason Aldean ).

My favorite post that I came across being shared on social media said, "Normally I couldn't care less about celebrity drama, but Adam Levine cheating on his wife is a good reminder that someone cheating on you is never your fault. You can be a Victoria's Secret model, a GQ model, a wife, a husband, the mother of their children, the father of their children, perfect in every way... but if someone wants to cheat, they will. It is not a reflection of you, it is a reflection of them and their shitty morals."

"First of all, my heart goes out to these women. It's bad enough to be cheated on, but it must be 1000x worse to do so in the public eye."

Absolutely.

And Behati is pregnant.
(Also the junior high level texts are but the resulting memes are phenomenally funny as are the Moron 5 jokes. )

It’s all horrible. And yeah, in public would be even more brutal.

Yes, I think the point is--infidelity is rampant (thanks to social media) and no one gets a pass from the pain. It destroys everyone equally and is a reminder to all that that the fault lies in the cheater.

As someone whose spouse only cheated online, it just galls me "I didn't cheat, but I did cross lines"

You're a cheater, Adam. A big fat cheater.

Shakira also is going through that. Her long time partner and father of her 2 boys cheated on her and just like you said the memes kind of got me surprise as well. They are making fun of him, how could he cheat on a woman like her.
He is a soccer player and I saw h playing a match and everytime he would touch the ball the whole stadium would scream Shakira. I never saw anything like this before. Years ago the comments would be like "poor Shakira" now it's more like "this guy is POS idiot". I see a small change in how society is dealing with this.

As others have said, it's a reminder that cheating can happen to anyone. Nia Long. A stunning beauty. Rich and famous. By all accounts kind and empathetic. Who would cheat on her? We of course know that's the wrong question. Cheating doesn't happen because of the quality/qualities of the BS. It happens because of the lack of quality/qualities in the WS.

I don't see anything special about those situations that would make them "a good reminder" that the fault lies with the cheater / that cheating can happen to anyone. I see nothing special about these women, that would make them different / better than any other betrayed woman. Those situations are just a reminder that cheating happens. Period.

In fact, comments such as "how could he cheat on a woman like her" are reckless imho, for two reasons: 1. they implicitly state, "if she was fat and ugly, we would understand", 2. they imply that the characteristics of the betrayed do have a role in cheating. It would be better if those comments would stop at "how could he cheat".

In addition, we don’t know anything about these women. We know nothing about their personalities, we don’t even know how they look in reality / everyday life. What we see is a fake image (makeup, lighting, photo editing etc.) So, in these cases, when we say "a woman like her" we are referring to that fake image, and by doing that we send a message that physical appearance is the only thing that matters. Plus, beauty is in the eye of a beholder (for me, Shakira is cute, but Behati is below average).

For all these reasons, I will refrain from making any similar comments and I will just say, Adam, Pique – you are cheaters and shitheads.

(I don’t know who Nia Long is, but I do know her partner is a shithead, too).

[This message edited by Hannah47 at 5:44 PM, Saturday, September 24th]

After dday, there are so many of us BS who feel that our self-esteem has taken a hit. In my example, AP outweighed me by 100+ pounds.

A good game away is that the cheater is going to cheat and it really is not a reflection of the BS.

We could have a goal to be a Victoria's Secret underwear model, but the cheater is going to cheat anyway.

Haters gonna hate, cheaters gonna cheat.