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Newest Member: Goku06

Off Topic :
Any medical peeps around need advice

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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 12:27 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

You get in an accident. Get hurt. His reaction is anger and abuse!?!?!

No. No. No. Not okay.

Big HUGS

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2914   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8755950
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 12:29 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

1. Yes you can cause soft tissue injury to your neck from any uncontrolled impact to you. Front to back, back to front, side to side.
2. Notify insurance company that the adrenaline of the accident led me to believe I was ok, I am not.
It's not unusual at all to not feel pain until the next day, and often it worsens until 72 hours after.
Pain relievers like OTC acetaminophen or Paracetamol can help use Ice not heat until your are at least
72 hours out. You can also alternate with an NSAID pain reliever like aleve, or ibuprofen/motrin etc.
Make sure you are drinking a ton of water, it will help wash the toxins out from the tissue damage.
If you have muscle relaxers take one, if you have bengay/icyhot/biofreeze etc use it.
3. Your spouse is not allowed to hit you. I don't give 2 shits if it leaves a mark or not. Please this
information when you are seen. The health care providers should be mandated reporters. It takes it
out of your hands. Hitting is never ok, no matter the situation.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19510   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8755951
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 12:36 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

Yes. He has anger issues. He took most of it out on the cupboard when he first found out.

He also says he cares about me but has gone on more about the van than me. The only reason he thinks I should see a doctor is for the insurance company to have a report. rolleyes

Last night I noticed a small area of bruising on my right forearm. This morning it's a nice dark purple. I don't know what I could have hit my arm off of in the van...

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 24669   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8755953
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 1:16 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

FUCKER!!!!!!!! mad mad mad mad mad mad mad

Seriously. It's just a car. The only thing that matters is YOU.

Please don't accept this Dragn. And even if you think it's ok for you, please Please PLEASE think about what you are modeling for your children.

((((Dragn))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8475   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8755955
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 5:09 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

Pictures and document! Who knows if he left a bruise or not, the fact he hit you and the fact that he hit you AFTER YOU WERE IN A BIG CAR ACCIDENT is going to be of big concern to the heath care provider. They don't want you to be involved in DV at home any more than you do.

Think about it- you get into a major accident (van got tipped over??). You come home, visibly shaken and H hits you?? Why? Because the van was destroyed by another person, inconveniencing him?

What a shit head. Please report to your doc.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 839   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8756008
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 5:15 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

When I was reading your post, and you said that your husband was screaming on the phone, I was feeling kind feelings toward him, because my only interpretation of the fact that he was screaming, was that he was out of control concerned and scared about your well-being. It took a while for it to sink in to me that he was screaming in anger about the vehicle. It was beyond understanding. Incomprehensible.

Sweetie…In a situation where you feel pulled in two directions about how to proceed with your marriage and your life, please let this latest incident weigh heavy in you’re thinking. Let your memory be long about this one.

Whatever you decide, please don’t minimize, first of all, being hit. For which there is never an excuse.

But even more damaging, in my opinion, is the disregard that he seems to have had for your safety… Only showing concern for your vehicle. That is just about as low as he could possibly get.

You and your kids are all too important to live in that environment.

I pray for you that the home situation will somehow change into the loving environment you all deserve - with or without him.

❤️

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7634   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8756012
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 5:25 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

I had someone hit me head on trying to dive into a parking lot that I was turning right out of it. I found the 3rd day was the worse. Hurt all over. Knees, hands, chest. Took a while to feel normal again.

posts: 1301   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8756017
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:16 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

Grubs is absolutely right, pain gets worse usually at its peak around the 72 hour mark, that's when the tissue breakdown rom the injury stops, and healing starts.

Drink lots and lots of water/powerade/propel liquid IV whatever to get hydrated and flush the toxins out.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19510   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8756048
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 7:35 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

I just got out of the hospital. Waiting to be picked up.

Prescribed a muscle relaxant. Told to return or see family doctor if no improvement in a week. I came because insurance said to, otherwise I would have waited. I expect pain. No broken bones. ER doc said probably have whiplash thats why neck is sore. Also belt tightened across neck. Joys of being short. And ribs on left side sore to touch but no pain when Breathing.

Said ultrasound and mri is best way to look for soft tissue damage but they prefer family doc request that if I'm not improving.

I did tell them that wh was physical but nothing came of that...

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 24669   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8756051
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 8:16 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

Glad you are ok!!!!

"I did tell them that wh was physical but nothing came of that"

Did they speak to you about this? Offer counseling? Ask if you feel safe? Talk about reporting it? Anything? How does this work in Canada? Please don't tell me they minimized it and brushed you off.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2914   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8756061
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:36 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

What exactly did you say?

If you said my spouse smacked me upside the head, then things should have come to a screeching halt, and a SW should have come in and completed a home safety assessment, including but not limited to if you feel safe in the home, and are there kids present.

Bullies always will pick someone at a disadvantage. Your kids don't need to grow up seeing this shit. If you said my husband was rough with me, and the Dr was busy and didn't want to deal with it, it could have been glossed over. You have to be specific. The more specific you are, and being specific with matching up injuries will get their attention.
You can go back and ask to speak to a nurse, or social worker.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19510   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8756066
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 9:55 PM on Monday, September 19th, 2022

You can go back and ask to speak to a nurse, or social worker.

I really hope you do this, Dragn. I don't know if this was the first time - I'm guessing not but if it is, it will only escalate from here. Guaranteed.

Please, please think hard about reporting. This treatment isn't right for you or your babies.

(((Dragn)))

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16561   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8756087
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 2:28 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2022

And if it gets to the powers that be that you are permitting this abuse, you risk having your children removed from your home. Think about it Dragn.

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8475   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8756177
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:53 PM on Tuesday, September 20th, 2022

How are you feeling today Dragn?
I'm concerned about you being concussed and still doing everything you do each day, physical work is hard on a concussed bain, and quiet, and rest is essential to healing it.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19510   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8756210
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

Hi all.

I'm doing OK I guess. Mo day was bad for pain. Tuesday I woke up feeling better but by noon the pain had flared up badly again.

Everything on the left side. Shoulder, arm, wrist, hand, neck and rib cage. Sometimes I can lift my coffee cup,sometimes I can't. My hand occasionally gets tingly then numb. Also discovered nice bruise on my right leg.

I'm not doing much at all. At least trying not to.

Got the police report done, spoke with the insurance company yesterday and have arranged for the van to be towed to the nearest collision centre. Not sure if I'll bother with a rental since we do have a second vehicle and I'm not really in the mood to drive right now.

I got a call this morning from the health care adjuster who informed me that I'm covered for physio,massage and chiropractor. I don't need a doctors referral either. So they will set that up and I'll get a call for an appointment. Since this place deals with all their vehicle collision injuries I'm sure they will understand my pain and how to best fix it.

The other issue will be dealt with just not going to mention it again on a public forum.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 24669   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8756356
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:27 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

Wow that's great about Chiro/Massage that will help for sure especially if your neck is still sore after the initial injury pain resolves.

Arnica gel/lotion on the bruise will help it go away a little faster (so they say) but make sure you take pictures first. Want it all documented just in case.

Keep drinking lots of water. It does help.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19510   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8756367
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 9:44 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

Please have them check your rotary because numbness and tingling is what I had and it was torn. So easy for that to happen in a collision with the seat belts. I'm glad they have responded to you about the medical issues. Is Canada a no fault or did either of you get a ticket which designates blame for the accident?

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3284   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8756434
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 10:17 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

Insurance said its 100% my fault. Even though I had looked,I didn't see that car coming. I dont think he was doing the speed they say he was. I was already 95% in my lane when he hit me. Had I been driving the smaller van they would have missed me. There was more than enough time for them to stop if they were doing the speed limit. I think he panicked and hit the gas instead of the break.

Put it this way. They hit me with enough force to move the van and break my rear axel. Oh and slam me into the drivers door.

As for charges if they were going to charge me you'd think they'd have done it that day or by now.

The police who showed up said that its called an accident for a reason. I had come to a complete stop, waited for that truck to pass, looked in both directions and did not see the car so I proceeded.

My insurance company said they allow 1 at fault accident every 3 years without penalty.

I'm still just so mad it happened. I habe never been in a collision with another vehicle before. I've ditched my car to avoid a collision before when I started driving.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 24669   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8756440
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 12:39 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

Keep in mind what all you are going through.

Even if it was partially or fully your error, don’t beat yourself up about it. You have a lot on your plate right now. Sometimes when our mind is trying to digest all of the input that we are getting, and so many times with negative input, we just aren’t as sharp as we are without all that crap going on.

Try not to beat yourself up about that. Just get better.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7634   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8756499
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 8:40 PM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

Seems to me if he hit you past your driver door, that should show you had almost completed your turn into your lane. It does sound as if he was speeding. Our auto insurance companies are supposed to be on our side, protect us - but that is rarely the case. Auto insurance is the biggest rip off we have to deal with. Most of the time I hear premiums go up even if it wasn't your fault. I'm glad your medical is completely covered. The guy that rear-ended me while I was stopped at a red light was 'under insured' so MY insurance had to pick up part of the tab for my surgery and therapy afterwards. I carry 'under insured motorist' addition to my auto insurance because 9 times out of 10, most drivers just carry the bare minimum to stay legal. OR they have no insurance at all.

Is your vehicle repairable?

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3284   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8756571
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