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Off Topic :
Trying to figure this out

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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 9:33 PM on Friday, July 29th, 2022

Cargiver fatigue is real.
Your H is being manipulative to get what he wants.

Walk away. Just let it go. Not worth the energy of getting upset or angry.

The son that hurt his foot, and hurt it again, is threatening to quit, because a work injury would require a drug screen? Any work injury requires a drug screen when reported. At least at most jobs.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19420   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8747724
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 3:16 AM on Saturday, July 30th, 2022

Yeah, you’re right. I just stayed in a separate room from him the rest of the day except when I needed to help with medication or something.

I don’t think my son is concerned about a drug test. When he hurt it the first time, he wasn’t even sure if it was broken. And we actually never did x-ray it, until he dropped the log on it two nights later.

It’s a certainty that drugs would show up in his system right now, because they gave him 10/325 Loritabs for the pain at the hospital…about a week and 1/2 ago if I remember correctly. They gave him only 6, and he has stretched them out by taking only a 1/2 at a time. And he is out now.

He just doesn’t deal well with disappointment and I think he was just being dramatic about quitting. He really loves that job and they really like him, and it’s the first time he has ever been truly appreciated at any job. I think maybe he’s concerned that they will tell them they can’t use him anymore as long as he can’t do the work.

I hope he’ll just be extra careful and really push through for three weeks until it can heal… Then the podiatrist said he could wear his steel toed boots. Right now he’s just in a flat hard sandal type thing with Velcro on the top.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8747737
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:06 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

So…….

Back in the ER. YCMTSU.

On Saturday, the home health nurse (a real keeper - for real) came to remove the PICC line. While she was there, H’s belly started to hurt again. I gave him a Tramadol and in 20-30 minutes it started to ease up.

Today it started again in late afternoon. About 6:00pm I gave him another Tramadol…nothing.

At about 10:00 pm I called "on call" dr from pcp practice. He said they would get referral to the surgical group first thing this morning. Re gallbladder removal. Also said to give a 5/325 hydrocodone and even one I more in another 4 hrs to get him through the night. Till surgical consult. Said if he ran a fever or had nausea /vomiting to go to ER.

At 1:00 am he was no better. Said he was nauseous. (Never threw up). Temp was 99.9. So we came. FOUR short (sarcasm) hours later and we are in a room in the ER.

Literally, the PICC line has not been out 60 hours.

I don’t know whether to hope they take it out here, or discharge him to the surgery clinic 3rd party and let them do it.

Or if it is even the gallbladder that is the issue.

I am not well. I am very nervous, twitchy. We listened for over 2 hours to a precious young child…maybe 2 1/2 - 3 yrs old…scream at the top of his lungs every breath. Poor baby. But it was horrifying to listen to.

Now, H is making this horrible sucking sound as he breathes through his nose, with his top lip (with heavy mustache) sucked up against his nostrils. I have repeatedly asked (and threatened) him to stop. But this is how he is choosing to breathe. It makes me want to rip his face off!!!!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

This is still an anonymous site, right?

There is something wrong with me. I desperately need some rest, or a Xanax, or a Long Island Tea…but none of those for me tonight, I’m afraid.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 12:12 PM, Tuesday, August 2nd]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748017
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:56 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

And to add to the festivities of the evenin…, uh…the morning…

When the nurse doing the ultrasound on all things liver, r kidney, and gallbladder got to a certain point, she asked, "Mr. WhatsRight, when was the last time you ate?" 😳

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748020
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:34 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

Any answers?
I wonder if she saw food in his belly, the gastroparesis can definitely add to abdominal pain.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19420   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8748025
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 2:07 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

I guess could be she saw food. But H takes metaclopramide 4x a day with the last does at 9:00 pm.

Says ultrasound of liver, pancreas, rt kidney and gallbladder showed nothing "bad" although the gallbladder isn’t operating at 100 %. But nothing that would cause this bad of pain.

Got a urine specimen. Geez, surely there is nothing in there, considering the strong antibiotic (meropenem) he just finished up not yet 72 hours ago.

So if the hospital says nothing to support removing the gallbladder, I guess we can take a pass with the surgical referral 3rd party???

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 2:09 PM, Tuesday, August 2nd]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748032
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 2:10 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

But then what is the friggin’ pain???

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748033
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 2:40 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

…and my son sends me a picture of my yard after I pulled out in the van last nigh to come to the ER. A big dark mark that looks like it burned the grass…or laid down oil, or something.

Now I don’t know how to get us home from the hospital - if they don’t admit him - if there is possibly FIRE shooting out the bottom of the van!

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

YCMTSU.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748035
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:55 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

They (the ER is looking for obvious issues Emergent Issues like stones) He had the HIDA that shows his gal bladder isn't functioning and needs to come out.
That's not emergent. But YES it does need to come out, and will cause pain, especially when he eats anything that is greasy, fatty, or stimulates production of gastric enzymes, and for each person can be different foods.

So whatever he had for dinner you may want to avoid until you see the surgeon.

The ER will evaluate if there is anything emergent, or anything that makes it unsafe to be at home. They will not necessarily admit for abdominal pain.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19420   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8748036
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 3:05 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

So, tush, to be sure I understand…just because the hospital docs don’t feel they should take out his gallbladder, it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t come out?

And…just because hospital didn’t take it out doesn’t mean the referral 3rd party surgeon won’t?

I have read up on this and talked to people who have had their gallbladder removed. Tons of rushed, explosive diarrhea for months; accidents;drastic changes in diet.

Sweet Jesus.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748038
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:10 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022

98% of people that have GB removed have no issues.
The ones that do tend to have a high fat diet. The ones that bemoan lifestyle changes due to it don't follow a food journal and try to figure out the cause of the GI issues.

Correct there is no way they would remove the GB on prior admission due to infection.
The ER is looking for obstruction/stones, or something that would make surgery emergent. Just because it can wait doesn't mean he doesn't need it out.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19420   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8748060
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:01 PM on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022

WR - what was the outcome of the ED visit ? Are you in the hospital, or did you go back home?

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19420   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8748123
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 1:41 PM on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022

Tush, I really appreciate that information about gallbladder surgery. It’s not that I want H to have the surgery necessarily, I just want to find out what the deal is with all of the stomach pain and fix it for him.

The hospital social worker came to talk with us and said that because of H’s physical disability, he qualifies for a free ride home from the hospital in the hospital shuttle. (Medical necessity.)

So my sister came to get me because I was not allowed to ride in the shuttle with him. (I’m guessing mental issues don’t qualify under "medical necessity) 🤪

H’s nephew has a towing business - how convenient is that? - and picked up the van from the hospital. 🙏 that it’s just a hose or something cheap and easy. (Whoops… Sorry to mention "cheap and easy". Not supposed to be on this form!) 🤪. Turns out I’m a real cut up once I’ve had a little bit of sleep. 😊

H came home and said he was going to sit up for a while, but within 30 minutes was ready to get in the bed. He has been sleeping pretty much nonstop since then. Says his stomach is feeling fine. I will be calling as soon as the office is open, to find out if his surgical consult has been made. I just have no idea how I’m going to get him there.

Anyway, one bit of good news is that his vitals were all looking really good, as well as his bloodwork and urinalysis. So there’s that. You gotta be thankful for the good news!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748127
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 6:14 PM on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022

I have another positive post to make, and I want to be sure and do it because I spend so much time whining. 😏

Anyway, I heard from my nephew, and there is some kind of tiny hole in the gas line. He has taken it all off and ordered parts and expects to get it finished tonight or tomorrow! You can’t beat that!

Also, the surgery consult is "in" and I should be hearing from that office at any time. So maybe as early as Friday we could get an appointment.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748150
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 10:19 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

Last night was another night of horrible abdominal pain and screaming all night long.

We did not go to the ER, because… Why? They have done all the scans and they have done the lab work and they have found nothing, with the exception of possible gallbladder issues.

I still have not heard from the surgical consult. And I would call and raise holy hell about that, except that I do not have my van back yet, from being repaired, so even if they did call, right now I would have no way of getting him there.

I’m just hoping above all hopes that the van gets repaired tonight.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748236
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 11:14 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

Did they do a colonoscopy and would that be an appropriate test for him?

I can't imagine how frustrating and exhausting for you both.

Prayers.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2865   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8748242
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 11:32 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

I am so sorry you and your H are going through this. For them not to find the cause of the pain is mind-boggling. Something is causing that pain! The next time he's in such severe pain, can you video it to show the doctors? For a grown man to scream like that, the pain has to be horrible.

Glad your van is fixable as I'm sure it is the only way you can transport him.

No need to say my usual 'hang in there' because you ARE hanging in there and doing the best you can. As Tush said, care-giver burnout is REAL. I went through some of that with my Mom being treated on Hospice in my home. So try to take care of yourself. Maybe a relaxing bubble bath when the opportunity presents itself.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3236   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8748245
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:33 AM on Friday, August 5th, 2022

just sending support and virtual hugs—

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4886   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8748253
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 1:50 AM on Friday, August 5th, 2022

Last night was another night of horrible abdominal pain and screaming all night long.

We did not go to the ER, because… Why? They have done all the scans and they have done the lab work and they have found nothing, with the exception of possible gallbladder issues.

I still have not heard from the surgical consult. And I would call and raise holy hell about that, except that I do not have my van back yet, from being repaired, so even if they did call, right now I would have no way of getting him there.

I’m just hoping above all hopes that the van gets repaired tonight.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748256
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 6:36 PM on Friday, August 5th, 2022

Update…

Van repaired.

Appt for Tuesday with surgery.

🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8748413
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