CereBella (original poster new member #79510) posted at 4:52 PM on Wednesday, November 17th, 2021
Thanks for asking/checking on me... things are going about as well as I expected. The good news is I should be filed on December 3rd... that's when I'm meeting with my attorney to sign everything and she will file that day. Then there is a mandatory 120 waiting period in my state before a court date will be scheduled. Once I am filed though, I am no longer responsible for anything he may do. I'm consulting a tax accountant too, to determine if I should go back and amend any of my returns to married filing separately in case something comes back to haunt me from his shady financial practices when it comes to his business.
In the mean time, he seems happy as can be... off living in his "trial of reality" with the married AP. I haven't driven by the OW's apartment recently, but based on how often he was there before, I'm assuming he stays there most of the time. He still has not found an apartment of his own, but I'm hoping he does soon so he can take his pets (We have 2 dogs and 5 cats - 3 of the cats are his, and they're not exactly well-behaved. As much as I love all animals, he needs to take them soon - it's a lot for one person to take care of, especially when his are such little shits).
Aside from the practical aspects of getting the divorce over with, I am kind of all over the place. I'm sure that's to be expected - healing is not a linear process. I have days where I am on top of the world and doing great, loving my newfound freedom, and days where I am just angry and/or sad. For me, it's the injustice of it all. He gets to run off and do whatever he wants with no real consequences (that matter to him anyway) and I am the one left to pick up the pieces from the mess he created. One of his AP's is dumb enough to still want him (even though she found out he was lying about me AND another woman aside from her) so as long as he has something new to latch on to, he's fine. I'm sure a part of him thinks I will be more than happy to take him back once he's had his fun too - just like last time. He's in for a rude surprise in that case.
It's just such bullshit... I'm tired of him lying, cheating, and scamming his way through life and getting away with it. He hurts countless people and never has to suffer the consequences.
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 7:34 PM on Wednesday, November 17th, 2021
FWIW, IMO, letting the anger flow through and OUT of you is perfectly OK.... the problems arise when we get "stuck" in that place.
The injustice of infidelity was REALLY hard on me. And it sometimes still is. I have to remind myself that every human will experience injustice. I have to validate it, know it's real and mine, and know that I'm not alone, and then move on. What helps me anyhow.
Sending strength :)
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
Beentheredonethat1 ( new member #79485) posted at 12:40 AM on Friday, November 19th, 2021
Well when the ow's husband returns from the road and he can not go there and he thinks he is coming back to you as plan b then he will get some of what is coming to him. I would love to see the look on his face when you say no
Hurtmyheart ( member #63008) posted at 4:30 PM on Friday, November 19th, 2021
Glad that you aren't wasting your time trying to fix what is broken in HIM, like I tried to do with my Deceased WH. Such a waste of time.
It definitely is an emotional coaster ride though of all sorts of emotions but believe that you will find peace on the other side.
Beentheredonethat1 ( new member #79485) posted at 5:43 PM on Friday, November 19th, 2021
Also if you haven't already get in touch with the credit bureau's and freeze you credit. At least he will not be able to open anything in your name that way.