Topic is Sleeping.
crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 8:18 PM on Monday, August 23rd, 2021
The xWS sent a strange text yesterday basically patting himself on the back for not freaking out when I left him and for not just showing up at places I'm at unannounced 
He said he knew I had already been through that treatment before in my past (abusive ex boyfriend before I met xWS).
Then he went on to say that he realized that I gave up 1/2 my time with kids to get away from him and how that is weighing heavily on him
I'm not sure what I feel. I kind of feel creeped out from it. I'm unfortunately still dealing from trauma from an assault I experienced a few months ago during a robbery so him texting me this just sent me over the edge.
I will not respond as this is unnecessary contact from him but am keeping in my records of texts in case I need a restraining order.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
stubbornft ( member #49614) posted at 8:32 PM on Monday, August 23rd, 2021
I am so sorry this rattled you and that you are recovering from the trauma of an assault. You have been heard. Sending some happy vibes your way.
Me: BS 40 Him: WS 51 He cheated with massage parlor sex workersDday 01/19/2021
Kicked him out in 2021 - life is better on the other side. Moved on with the help of a wonderful therapist.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 9:53 PM on Monday, August 23rd, 2021
The first part of his text would have freaked me as well. Because it makes me think he wanted to show up unannounced and essentially stalk you. It troubles me that his brain went there.
Definitely save every single text and email from him. You never know when you are going to need them.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:01 PM on Monday, August 23rd, 2021
You have security cams yes?
You lock up tight every night?
You protect yourself as much as possible?
If not do. That is creepy as F. Then ignore, ignore, ignore.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Doesitstop11 ( member #49432) posted at 2:02 AM on Tuesday, August 24th, 2021
I watch way too much crime tv...is it possible he had something to do with the robbery, and this is his twisted way for him to to "mess" with your head? Seems like a very odd thing to say.
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 5:15 AM on Tuesday, August 24th, 2021
I think he’s testing to waters to see if you’ll respond to him, and then he can have a conversation with you-which is what he wants. I think he feels guilty (today only) and needs to get rid of the feelings. If he can talk with you, then start fighting with you, he takes the focus off the pain he feels, and get to focus on how unreasonable you are. 
It was my experience in group counseling at the DV center, that this sort of fishing leads to conversations, then b4 you know it the DV victim is back in the craziness of xh world. 
Do not take the bait. You are doing awesome!
He’ll probably be rude the next time you hear from him. It’s a cycle, I think.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 6:38 AM on Tuesday, August 24th, 2021
He sounds disturbing. Cameras are a good idea. Hope your getting the help you need for your trauma.
crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 5:04 PM on Tuesday, August 24th, 2021
is it possible he had something to do with the robbery, and this is his twisted way for him to to "mess" with your head? Seems like a very odd thing to say.
Yeah who knows. What is strange is when I was first being assaulted the thought of my ex hiring them to do that crossed my mind until I realized they were robbing the restaurant that I was picking up my food from.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 5:05 PM on Tuesday, August 24th, 2021
I think he’s testing to waters to see if you’ll respond to him
I am really hoping it is this^^^ because he is starting to creep me out. It is beyond bizarre the way he thinks and the farther I am away from him the worse he looks to me.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:43 AM on Wednesday, August 25th, 2021
It is beyond bizarre the way he thinks and the farther I am away from him the worse he looks to me.
Doesn't it amaze you how you were able to spend all those years with him? Well at least now you know why you most certainly felt crazy everyday...like I did! Be grateful for weird things like this. It just solidifies in your brain that leaving him was 100% the correct choice! Onward!
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 1:56 AM on Wednesday, August 25th, 2021
It is beyond bizarre the way he thinks and the farther I am away from him the worse he looks to me.
Love this! Instead of, "distance makes the heart grow fonder", that distance gives us a chance to take in the whole picture to see the reality of the situation. That "creeped out" feeling is the best way you can feel about him now. It is not bizarre, but that distance allowing for your growth. No backsies now! (And no responses!!) Go you!
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 5:49 PM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021
You have handled this PERFECT as far as I can tell.
Hang on to this for record keeping purposes but otherwise do not respond to him in anyway.
And, yes, this is super creepy.
Me: Crap, I'm 50 years old. D-Day: August 30, 2016. Two years of false reconciliation. Divorce final: Feb 1, 2021. Re-married: December 3, 2022.
crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 6:44 PM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021
Well it never seems to end now he has been texting me that he comes in peace and would like to talk to me, that he will make time for me w-t-f
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
Topic is Sleeping.
