You say you want the truth.
You already have the truth.
You read her comments. You are plan B and she misses AP.
You know this relationship has been physical as well as emotional.
So back to you want truth. She's saying to you now that you won't like what she has to say.
If she comes clean and tells you what you already know....what then?
This woman is DESTROYING your soul.
As Marz said, you're where you are right now because of YOU.....NOT HER!!
She's shown you who and what she is.
You want her to be honest with you?
How can you expect this from her when you can't even be honest with yourself??
You and this woman together is toxic.
I know this hurts, we've all been there. How much more precious time do you want to piss away being in this nightmare?
So she tells you she's been with guy physically (which you already know). You going to be good with this?
She is NOT going to come clean that you're her back up plan. Just not going to happen. However you KNOW THAT YOU ARE!!
Is this really how you want to go through life?
Imagine you're back with her. Spending a Sunday together. Going out for lunch, shopping, having coffee together, and on the drive home she's quiet...staring out the passenger window, deep in thought, you can't tell me that the thought won't cross your mind wondering what she's thinking, or more specifically who she's thinking about???
You'll KNOW DAMN WELL WHO SHE'S THINKING ABOUT.
Is this truly how you want to live your life?
This is NOT love my friend.
This is codependency and you just being afraid to do what every fiber in your body is telling you to do and that's walk away.
Anyone that has followed your thread sees what you need to do and what you yourself have said you need to do.
What's keeping you from doing it is fear!!
Fear is immobilizing you and keeping you in this nightmare.
Take action and do what you have to do.