We have been together for 22 years. We met at 21 and 19 years old. At some point he loved me. I think?
He transfered from our college without telling me after an intense 4 month love affair. I remember one saturday he was a little mad that id gone out all day with my Friends because he wanted to take me out. (He hadnt told me this). Not angry mad, just more like, what did you do that for.
He transfered back home mid semester, probably because if money or missing his family. But he didnt tell me this. I was devastated, i called him at home , thinkng id get his mom and ask when he left to come back tonscholly
. Thats when he told me he was not coming back. I said so what now, he said its over.
I kept calling and was upset, i said lets get married. He said really? And agreed, sent me roses, we had a long distance relationship for 1.5 years, and he was the one who said lets get married right after college... i had wanted to live together a few years, but he said, no, thats “disrespectful”. I thought how sweet, really old school..
Years later he told me he knew id leave him if we lived together before we got married so he wanted to get married first.
It feels like ive been chasing him for years.
I told him yesterday how hurt his emotional affair hurt me, and he just yelled that it wasnt an affair. I walked away.
There is absolutely no reconciliation with him. Hes done this too much. Im still confused how i feel about his sleeping with other women during our separation and active divorce case in 2010. It feels great that he cheated on ow 1... but why didnt he come to me and say i messed up? He continued to use ow 1 against me. She had access to my kids, to his email where shed email me as him (i knew it was her), hell, he was still taking her with him to his mom’s house, and mil and sils were welcoming her.
I know what happened- i wanted the family so much i overlooked and rug swept. But now my okder kids hate their father (dd calls him “your husband” and dd calls him by his first name). Wh doesnt value us, or the family. He doesnt want to go to the pumpkin patch or have family dinners. Im not really sure what he wants. Its not to grow a family.
When the kids leave the house, we will not have similar interests and do activities together. I like kayaking and Jane Austen books and going to museums. He likes texting women that he adores them at 2 am and sleeping around. And lying in bed all day talking about how depressed he is and how i don’t understand bipolar disorder and how mean i am.