@HellFire, I think you are very accurate
@Jambomo, I am NOT moving out - that’s a really bad move leaving the matrimonial home
@ShutterHappy, it’s unlikely that she has been funnelling money to him as I have control over the business accounts and he has his own money and is successful. She has however, some of her own credit cards which we pay out of our joint account, but I only get the statements from her at the end of the year for tax purposes. (I guess so she doesn’t remember a charge 9 months later she had ie dinner out with him) - Also, to be honest, although I had to hear the audio of them having sex 2-3 times before my brain accepted what they were actually doing, it wasn’t the act of sex that absolutely destroyed and gutted me. It was HOW she was talking to him leading up to sex and after - she has NEVER spoken that way to me. THAT was the worst part of the whole thing which is etched into my mind.
The home we are in is a custom home we just built and she mentioned yesterday that went she went on her walk before she went out with her friend, that she got thinking about our next project and got very excited, but then she thought of the fight we had just had and got sad.
I flat out told her hold on thats what you are thinking about? It’s not thinking about us and our future first and foremost, but rather a project OUTSIDE our relationship. She flat out told me she wasn;t going to lie and said yes. I have known this all along and our plan was always to continue building and selling, as it has been very profitable for us on this one, and she is extremely talented in that area and did a stellar job.
When she came back from her friends house I was outside getting some work done on the property and she came up to me gave me a hug and asked me to give her a hug from my heart. Then she proceeded to kiss me on the cheek and all over my ear. It told her to stop, as she’s never done this before in public (ie in full view of neighbours), but she continued and she said what do you care what they think?
Then we went to dinner as a family with the kids and at dinner she was on her phone. She looked up at me and politely asked me to look something up for her. My phone was in my pocket, so I said to her “You are on your phone, you can look it up yourself. Your fingers aren’t broken”. Well, let’s say she got upset and asked me when did I become not nice.
After dinner, on way out of restaurant walking to car, she says “Why weren;t you nice before to do what I asked? You usually do it?” I said “The problem with me is I have always been too nice.”
Then I shit you not, she said this “Being a Nice Guy is the only thing you had going for you.” Now I know how she is when she is joking and when she is serious - and she was serious.
I responded “Thank you for telling me the truth on how you really feel.”
Then she started backtracking in front of our kids that I can’t take a joke. I guess at this stage it’s not shocking anymore to see WHO she really is.
We get home, we are in the bathroom together and she wanted to go away for a day or 2 just her and I this weekend. She made a few suggestions and I said no then she suggested a very nice hotel in town and I told her I would look into it. Then I left her without saying goodnight.
I am meeting with the lawyer in 2 days, however I need to try to get out of going away if I can, as I know the hotel will likely be a way for her to try to manipulate me and she will lose it if I reject her.
The other part of me though needs to make sure I maintain appearances and don’t do too many things out of the ordinary while I see the lawyer and prepare for D.
Just because I am seeing the lawyer Thursday doesn’t mean I will be ready to file on Friday.
One more thing - my wife absolutely loves the holidays and does more than her fair share for our families, constantly hosting during holidays and working her ass off - she has doen that from day one.
She is starting to get excited and has already told our families about us hosting in the new house. That’s her perfect little fantasy world in a big house to entertain.
I think when she is finally served, she will be in shock as that will potentially screw up all of her plans. It will only become real to her then.
[This message edited by Awoken at 6:46 AM, September 8th (Tuesday)]