Newest Member: username3016

Divorce/Separation :
and just like that...

Topic is Sleeping.
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 trying to smile (original poster Member #9683) posted at 6:19 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

my NB of 4 years is over. Not infidelity related but I feel just as helpless and hopeless and didn't know where else to turn.

I'm an oldie from here, one of the one's who survived it. Now I'm breaking into a thousand pieces.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8211   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 8561363
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Lalagirl ( Member #14576) posted at 10:38 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

(((((tts)))))

I remember you and am so sorry that you are in such pain.

You know that we are here for you with many shoulders to cry upon.

Sending strength & hugs,

Lala

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 37 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-37 & 34 11yo GS,8yo GD&6yo. GD (DD37) and 9yo GD & 4yo GD(DD34). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8626   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8561398
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Ripped62 ( Member #60667) posted at 11:47 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

I am sorry!

Words escape me.....

(((trying to smile)))

posts: 3174   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2017   ·   location: United States of America
id 8561411
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WhoTheBleep ( Member #49504) posted at 1:18 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

I'm so so sorry. (((TTS)))

We are listening if you'd eventually like to share more.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4358   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8561420
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lieshurt ( Moderator #14003) posted at 1:38 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

I'm very sorry (((tts))). We are here for you.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22316   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 8561425
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EvenKeel ( Member #24210) posted at 2:52 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

Awe - I am so sorry. Break-ups suck regardless of the reason!

Do you want to talk about it?

posts: 6666   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8561444
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JanaGreen ( Member #29341) posted at 4:56 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

I'm so sorry - breakups suck.

We are here for you ((HUGS))

posts: 9411   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 8561518
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traicionada ( Member #10310) posted at 5:25 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

Good news! You have the tools to recover and you will

Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

posts: 4018   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2006   ·   location: Dallas, Texas
id 8561544
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newlife03 ( Member #56527) posted at 7:57 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

wow, I'm sort of in a similar situation. My SO of 9 years needed to take care of some personal issues and we are on a mutual "break" but not broken up....yet. My mind is preparing for it mentally, but I'm just not ready. I'm sorry, but one thing that is true that was pointed out in a different post is that we've been through heartache before and will both come out strong.

I think I remember you, I was here back in 2006-2007 as ohsolost.

Me - 50
Kids 25, 22, 18
1st DDay in 2006, 2nd in 2007
D in 2009
Happily Committed to SO since 2011

posts: 657   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: ID
id 8561687
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FaithFool ( Member #20150) posted at 9:00 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

Hi TTS, I remember you, you old-timer you.

Sorry to hear this. What happened? Just unloading the details might help purge some of the hurt.

xo

FF

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21437   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8561705
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Phoenix1 ( Moderator #38928) posted at 9:33 PM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

Sorry TTS.

((TTS))

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 8992   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8561717
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 trying to smile (original poster Member #9683) posted at 7:55 AM on Wednesday, July 15th, 2020

Thank you all so much for being here for me. The time difference is a bit of a killer but I came back to see if anyone had seen my post and here you all were just like you were for me before.

God bless this site. XX

not quite willing to share yet but I will when I can stop the roaring in my ears and the pain in my chest.

So many familiar names too, thank you for still being here. So many new names, I'm so sorry you needed to find SI.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8211   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 8561909
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Lalagirl ( Member #14576) posted at 9:55 AM on Wednesday, July 15th, 2020

I know you have heard this advice back in the day, but it bears repeating...please see your doc for something to help you during this awful time - something to take the edge off.

We are here when you're ready, tts...no rush, no pressure ((((tts))))

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 37 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-37 & 34 11yo GS,8yo GD&6yo. GD (DD37) and 9yo GD & 4yo GD(DD34). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8626   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8561924
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 trying to smile (original poster Member #9683) posted at 6:31 AM on Thursday, July 16th, 2020

Thanks Lala, I work at a medical practice and have taken some time off. I'm keeping myself busy at home sewing masks because of this covid crap.

Strange, strange times.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8211   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 8562340
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Lalagirl ( Member #14576) posted at 10:24 AM on Thursday, July 16th, 2020

Strange, strange times indeed, tts.

I'm glad you're keeping busy and are taking some you time.

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 37 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-37 & 34 11yo GS,8yo GD&6yo. GD (DD37) and 9yo GD & 4yo GD(DD34). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8626   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8562359
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EvenKeel ( Member #24210) posted at 2:36 PM on Thursday, July 16th, 2020

Just checking in on you.

Is this your first heartbreak since your D?

I ask because that first one is brutal! I equate it to us having an old injury. Don't laugh. I think of it as we have an old injury that we got stitches for and it healed. Then all of a sudden we do something that reopens that old incision. It just plum hurts worse than if it was a brand new cut in a new spot.

Be kind to yourself and go back to those basics we learned early on (keep hydrated, eat something, get some fresh air, etc). There is not a darn thing wrong with vegging on the couch with Netflix...it has amazing powers sometimes.

posts: 6666   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8562417
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Inchoate ( Member #9065) posted at 11:03 PM on Thursday, July 16th, 2020

It's funny, I've had a bad setback (related t relationship but not infidelity ) and popped in here to see if I could dredge up a little wisdom. Certainly not planning to do anything but lurk. And here you are from the same way back as me. I think I was led here just to give you a hug. (((TTS))) You deserve to be loved, you deserve to be happy, and you are enough. <3

Former Wayward Ninja, recovered
"The shadows tell us where the light is" (my DD@3)
"Growing up is hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it." (Agliarept)

posts: 5059   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2005
id 8562710
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Twinsmom ( Member #60303) posted at 5:10 AM on Saturday, July 18th, 2020

EvenKneel - you nailed it!! The first break up I had after my divorce was brutal. It was only 11 months but it hurt so bad I wasn't sure I would survive it. This was after my divorce from a man I was married to for 27 years. It was just too soon after the first hurt that it felt like I would never recover.

You got this tts....We are all here for you!!

Sending hugs!!

Me: BS, 49 Him: WS, 52
3 Children
Married 26 yrs; DDay 7/4/17
LTA, Divorced 5/8/19

posts: 89   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8563356
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 7:05 AM on Saturday, July 18th, 2020

Take care of yourself- you got through indefinitely, and you’ll make it through this too. ((Hugs))

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8563374
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ZenMumWalking ( Member #25341) posted at 9:57 PM on Saturday, July 18th, 2020

I'm so sorry ((((tts))))

Let it out when you are ready. There is always someone listening here.

Strength ((((tts))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8408   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8563560
Topic is Sleeping.
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