Newest Member: username3016

Divorce/Separation :
SI conversation buddies

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Muggle (original poster Member #62011) posted at 6:24 PM on Sunday, May 31st, 2020

I see so many posts where we are all struggling with missing simple conversation. We miss the connection with others. Bonding over conversations that no longer take place.

I'm not talking about dating, but having someone to talk to. I've not thought this out, so this is not a complete or comprehensive idea. Just random thoughts.

Has anyone ever considered a way to have others here communicate with each other in a safe way? Not a post like the ones we normally make, but one that allows us to feel more connected like we would be over coffee with a friend?

A friends section, where we can talk about daily things in our lives, and try to have a sense of "normal" like we used to have. Many of us don't have actual friends in life to talk to or social groups that we are part of. Some may not have family.

I had one friend that was someone I talked to for years online. She and I shared a common interest in a specific game we both played. She recently passed away from cancer. She was there for me when this all happened, and I was there for her when her mother died in a tragic accident.

I don't know if it's possible to do this. It might be similar to being a SI version of online pen pals. Nothing that would be unsafe. Anyone have any experience with something like this?

Ideas?

Me: 57 Him: 57 DD #1 Christmas 2017. DD #2 Feb 2018 (my bday) with different woman she's been married 5+ times. Committed Intimate Relationship, 23 years, 3 kids, business & house. He married OW #2 eight days later in Vegas. Knew each other 14 days.

posts: 386   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2017
id 8547270
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 2:17 AM on Monday, June 1st, 2020

Try the off-topics forum....lot of random conversations happen there. It might be what you are looking for.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8547372
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LadyG ( Member #74337) posted at 6:52 AM on Monday, June 1st, 2020

You are so right.

My girlfriends dropped me after Dday1.

A lot of our married friends with higher morals dropped us after Dday2.

The rest dropped us after Dday3.

It’s difficult making new friends in your 50’s.

I have some lovely ladies in my neighbourhood and although we chat, I am hesitant to get close. I would rather leave my past behind but new people are interested in where you’ve been all these years...

Try off the topic but you are most welcome to message me. Have a great week 🙏🏼

September 26 1987 I married a monster. Chronic Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼

posts: 938   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020   ·   location: Australia
id 8547410
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tushnurse ( Member #21101) posted at 1:56 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2020

A lot of people here will feel a common interest, or connection and then through the PM function become friends, and communicate in other ways.

I have a few folks that I am even FB friends with.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 21 &23
Married for 28 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 18926   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8547446
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ZenMumWalking ( Member #25341) posted at 5:11 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2020

Like tushnurse said, you an PM those with whom you fee a special bond. You can both take it farther if mutually agreeable (FB, etc).

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8408   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8547504
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StormyPrincess ( Member #41224) posted at 12:35 PM on Monday, June 15th, 2020

I too was wondering about this. I tried an online penpal website and met some people who I thought were really nice and all turned out to be scammers. Most of my friends live far far away. I miss the conversations I used to have with my ex WH before he turned into a WH. It’s really hard to meet people when you’re in your 50s, Covid is around, and you live in rural MN.

If anybody wants to chat feel free to PM me. I am probably quite boring at this age but would love to have people to talk to.

((Hugs))

SP

StormyPrincess
Me: B exW 50 something
Him: XWH 40 something

Married: 20+ yrs; now divorced!!
2 DD; 1DS

posts: 198   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8551222
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ChoosingHope ( Member #33606) posted at 7:42 PM on Monday, June 15th, 2020

Hi everyone,

I don't know how people do this in a safe way, but I actually met a friend on here about eight years ago, and we're still great friends!!!

And I became FB friends with two others. We are still FB friends, and all of us are doing well now. One is remarried and an artist, and I bought bracelets from her! I'm dying to see her new shop, which is now a few hours from my house.

I guess we did it because we all had a lot in common (reprehensible exes, for example!) and we chatted a lot before meeting. Now that I look back, it sounds like a weird thing to do - meeting friends on SI. But we did it, and it was worth it! Good luck!!!

-Hope

Separation Class of 2011

Divorced Class of 2014

posts: 1855   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2011
id 8551393
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DragNet ( Member #70398) posted at 1:17 AM on Monday, August 10th, 2020

I’ve been separated since April last year and for a long time was too busy with the divorce to be lonely. Now that time has passed, I’m finding myself ready to move on. I’m probably lonelier now than I was initially. Many of my friends are married and they act like divorce is contagious. Lol! I hesitate to join any FB groups, because I don’t want my RL friends to snoop! I’m paranoid, I’m sure!

DragNet

“What you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.”

posts: 51   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8572247
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The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 10:58 AM on Monday, August 10th, 2020

I have heard this over and over about once you are single - your married friends drop you. Whether D (which is worse) or death of a spouse - the married group suddenly excludes you.

I have seen my own parents do this to friends of 50+ years. It’s awful.

I go out of my way to include a few single friends to events or parties or just to hang out. The loneliness is terrible and now exacerbated by the pandemic for so many people.

I wish I had a solution.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10519   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8572323
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thebighurt ( Member #34722) posted at 7:30 AM on Tuesday, August 11th, 2020

I have met a number of SIers IRL, either at G2Gs or from PMing and discovering we were near each other. Sometimes it was that we lived nearby or a couple of times one of us was visiting near the other. I am always open to PMs that may develop into a friendly chat/discussion or hopefully even a friendship. I have some FB friends from SI.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 4998   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8572750
Topic is Sleeping.
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