Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

more information about cookies...

Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

SurvivingInfidelity.com® > New Beginnings

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

It finally happened! A married suitor. Oh what to do....sigh

Pages: 1 · 2

Justsomelady posted 4/15/2020 02:05 AM

Yeah, Im with the opinion that the wife should be informed as it is unlikely shes on board with his dating profile. If she is, then whats the problem? If she isnt, then shes at least gotten the truth. Id want to know that much.

Tallgirl posted 4/15/2020 04:46 AM

I think you did good.

I just started OLD. Lets of self righteous married men. Probably women too but I dont see them

It makes my skin crawl

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 4:47 AM, April 15th (Wednesday)]

sparkysable posted 4/15/2020 11:15 AM

You did the right thing. Let us know if she ever responds.

Chaos posted 4/15/2020 14:17 PM

You did the right thing. Send her the info and she can handle from there.

Although if you hear back from her please update us...

WhoTheBleep posted 4/15/2020 15:54 PM

Honestly you guys, I feel like Batman for betrayed spouses. There's no stopping me. Yes this is for all the unsuspecting BS's out there. But as mentioned above, I'm finding it quite cathartic. Surprisingly so. I hadn't strongly considered that angle.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:59 PM, April 15th (Wednesday)]

ShatteredSakura posted 4/15/2020 16:58 PM

I am vengeance, I am the night, I am Batman!

gonnabe2016 posted 4/15/2020 18:30 PM

[His profile] was a made-up name like a vanity plate. But . . . In his dating profile pic, his real first and last name were on his work shirt as he owns his own company. (What an idiot)
What an idiot indeed.

Thanksgiving2016 posted 4/15/2020 18:35 PM

Thanks for doing the right thing Bleep.

steadychevy posted 4/15/2020 18:49 PM

You did the right thing. Thank you from all BSs who wishes someone, anyone, would have informed us.

I sure don't like the don't get involved position people have because you don't know what might happen.

deena04 posted 4/15/2020 19:14 PM

You did the right thing. Its up to the wife from that point to decide what she does, but you may have helped confirm suspicions or open her eyes before she gets an STD. You did good!

[This message edited by deena04 at 7:15 PM, April 15th (Wednesday)]

EvenKeel posted 4/16/2020 07:28 AM

I had that happen twice during my OLD. They are such idiots - very little digging yielding they were both married!

I called them out (the guy). The one went into panic-mode. "How did you find out? Do I know you IRL?" No idiot - your just not as locked down as your thought! I never saw a profile disappear so quickly in my life. lol

The second guy I found he was married and a swinger. He confessed he was looking for a 3rd for a threesome. This was validated because I found their profiles on threesome and swingers sites. Ummmmm - what were you going to do? Just spring your wife on me on our date and think I would just go along?

Anyway. Good for you sending it to the W. That is the way to go. I was a newbie.

Please let us know if you hear back.

WhoTheBleep posted 4/16/2020 09:56 AM

Evenkeel, I had a man in an open marriage message me. His profile clearly stated (in the first sentence!!) That he and his wife were polyamorous. In his message, he offered his wife's contact info to put me at ease. I never messaged him back, as I have no interest in being the 3rd person in ANY marriage, open or not. But I respected his honesty. THAT is the way to go about it.

shellofme posted 4/16/2020 10:49 AM


Shouting out my RESPECT and THANKS for what you did. Despite wanting to be in a relationship, you are 1st taking the time to check out potential suitors. Then, you contacted the BS. Yes, superhero like indeed!

Your friend who told you about your last SO deserves a shout out too. Look how many good people on the planet it takes to help make the world a better place, not just for us BS, but for all the WS who need to recover and heal from their wounds, before causing deep wounds to others. . . If there were more people like you and your friend, many of us could have avoided years of pain, suffering, and trying to recover from much more intense trauma, than if our FWS had been stopped in their tracks before they could act out IRL.

J707 posted 4/16/2020 12:43 PM

Good for you! Yeah, if he is in an open relationship or swingers, contacting the spouse wouldn't do any damage anyways. You did the right thing, I wish I would've got a heads up.

Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

© 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy