BearlyBreathing posted 3/16/2020 21:10 PM

So today I fucked up.

I went to CVS to get a couple things before the lockdowns start. (Shelter in place starts 10 miles from my house- expecting we’ll get that order this week.) My bill was a little higher than I expected, so I carefully read the receipt when I got home. It’s fine but I scan down the LLLLOOONNNGGGG receipt to make sure I get the good coupons I’ll use. And I see there is a section for a bonus if you buy a certain number of hair color products. I skim over then double back. I don’t use box color on my hair (I have a hairdresser who does my hair.). And someone is 4 boxes out of 7 to the next reward. Let’s figure 6 weeks between colors. That has to be OW.

As recently as Valentine’s Day my XWH was sniffing around.And obviously lying or at the very least implying he was not with her. (I never ask). I realize the ph # we used on the CVS account was our old land line and I have just still been using it to get the discounts. And so has she.

I was already unhappy that I am alone in this social isolation and he obviously isn’t. Yeah, I know they are losers who deserve each other. But it hit me harder than I expected as this social isolation is feeling extra isolating. Fuck.

I’ll get a new CVS card and cut that forgotten thread. Just a paper cut, but you know how those sting out of proportion to the actual damage? Yeah, that’s the feeling.

The gift that keeps on giving.

devotedman posted 3/17/2020 04:48 AM

I get it. You've been heard.

EvenKeel posted 3/17/2020 07:06 AM

Have you seen him lately? Maybe HE is dying his hair.

Hang in there!

Chili posted 3/17/2020 10:18 AM

Bearly Bearly - once again I have to take exception to this:

So today I fucked up.

No you didn't. He's a douche. She's a douchette. And once again, it's you that has to clean everything up - cut all the ties - and change all the things big and small in your life because he blew it all up. Seriously that jagoff needs to handle his shit.

I'm really really sorry you had another *thing* with him. The above stinks, but this actually bothers me more:

XWH was sniffing around

Sniffing around with you directly or poking at your friends for info? Did you talk with him?

Many many months after my mess was done with assclown and he traipsed off into goofyland with AP, he continually tried to contact me via text. I made the huge mistake of thinking he might actually have something worthwhile to say to me at that point. Nope. It just opened up all the shit once again and I had to shut it down immediately. Please please don't let him get in your head or even be in a position let him continue to tell you lies about any damn thing - whether he's with her or who is coloring their hair.

Asshole.

Take good care of yourself B - you got all of this.

EllieKMAS posted 3/17/2020 11:06 AM

This reminds me of... about a month after xdouchehole moved out, I pop on to netflix and see that he has given his shitbag sister my logon credentials and that twat had set up a netflix profile for her kids... on MY nickle. Grrrr.

I SO get your irritation. I'd've been stompin around too!

nothisfriend posted 3/17/2020 14:11 PM

I went to the grocery store that I don't usually use and found WXH and OW there every.time.I.go.

He memorized our savers card number and after I moved I couldn't find my card so I went to the service desk to get a new one. I have a new address and phone number so the lady just issued me a new card and asked if I wanted my points transferred to my new account. I said "yes, please." I wish I was a fly on the wall when he shopped next and rattled off his number to find the account deleted.

BearlyBreathing posted 3/17/2020 14:43 PM

Chili- we still own the property from when the house burned down, and we haven’t settled with insurance yet. So still a little bit of business we have to conduct around tax time.

Can’t sell - market for property completely collapsed.

Chili posted 3/17/2020 16:07 PM

Dang - that's stinky that you still have to be in his orbit until things are settled. Armor up for a little while longer and try to keep things as business as possible - I know you know the drill. Sending you good things.

J707 posted 3/17/2020 21:30 PM

I got charged last year from Amazon for two things. First was 10 dollars or so and the next was over a hundred bucks. I called and it was from the ex. The 1st one was cat food (from her) The 2nd was her annual prime subscription. I called them and they told me what was up. I canceled that shit and got my credit card off the account. Told her and she said why would you do that! Really!!!! I have my own account.

There are soo many things when it comes to all of this and we just don't know where something will come up. I've always used my moms safeway club card, well just because. I wonder if the ex is still using it? Maybe time to change that.

And welcome to shelter life since its confirmed now. Make the best of your time. Relax, clean out things, play music while doing so, read, go on walks away from people, online lessons for drawing/guitar/piano, drive out to the beach alone. Be safe.

steadychevy posted 3/18/2020 06:00 AM

As Chili said, you didn't fuck up. You're living your life as you should trying to get through this a we all are. Some people (the losers) are idiots and there isn't a cure.

Yes, a paper cut hurts like the blazes but is insignificant in the long run. A new card is a good idea.

BearlyBreathing posted 3/18/2020 19:11 PM

Updated the card. Onward.

yewtree posted 3/18/2020 21:38 PM

Years ago when my life went to shit I went to pick up a prescription. Pharmacist also handed me ExH viagra prescription. I almost died right there in Walgreens.

Your ex and his ow deserve each other. You will survive AND thrive.

hardtimesinlife posted 3/19/2020 19:38 PM

Onward and upward, BearlyB.

yewtree, I hope you paid for and disposed of his prescription

yewtree posted 3/21/2020 00:01 AM

I wish I had... I was too freaked out to react in any sane way. That poor person behind the counter probably still tells the story of “ Oh shhhhiiiit.”

yewtree posted 3/21/2020 00:01 AM

I wish I had... I was too freaked out to react in any sane way. That poor person behind the counter probably still tells the story of “ Oh shhhhiiiit.”

ChoosingHope posted 3/26/2020 23:04 PM

I'm sorry. this makes me remember when my ex kept going to the same dry cleaner as me, using our old phone number. The woman put his clothes on my tab by mistake, in front of my little kids.

About three months later, she looked at my little kids and asked me in front of them if maybe I might be able to work things out with my ex???

I will never forget it. Yes, the gift that keeps giving. My ex cheated with probably 100+ men and women. I had just found out.

BearlyBreathing, you will get through it. You're so much better than them. I'm sorry for the reminder, but someday I SWEAR it will just be a good story.

NorCalLost posted 3/26/2020 23:49 PM

((((BearlyBreathing)))) Oh friend, do I ever understand. My ex is taking advantage of the shelter-in-place order, I guess. Someone thought I needed to know that he moved second OW into what used to be our home, two days ago. I guess he doesn’t want to risk getting COVID-19 by driving to her house the next town over.
Like you I keep reminding myself that neither one of them is getting a prize. How lucky I am, and how lucky you are, to be starting a new beginning free from the betrayals.