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Would you date someone who cheated in their last marriage

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PearlyBaker posted 3/8/2020 12:48 PM

Just curious...Would you date someone who cheated in their last marriage?

alphakitte posted 3/8/2020 13:12 PM

No. It signals the individualís ability to discount their commitment to the marriage, to devalue the marriage and the feelings of the person they are married to. It denotes their morals, and values, or lack thereof.

Phoenix1 posted 3/8/2020 13:39 PM

This same question comes up periodically, and you will likely see a mixed bag of responses from an emphatic no to a yes if they've done the work to fix their brokenness that caused them to cheat. It is a very personal decision.

For me it is a big no. I know me, and it won't matter how much personal work was done. I would always wonder, and possibly misread the smallest suspicion. That would not be fair to the other person. It's my own baggage to carry and I won't knowingly inflict it on an innocent party. Better for me (and them) to just not go there.

TheLostOne2020 posted 3/8/2020 16:54 PM

Fuck no. I might date someone who cheated in a relationship, did some work, and became a better person - but not someone who cheated in a marriage.

Somber posted 3/8/2020 18:35 PM

Nope. Never. Not a chance!!! Itís too great of a trigger and would immediately cause some mistrust.

ShatteredSakura posted 3/8/2020 19:17 PM

Hard nope. Cheated in any relationship, so even if it was just a BF.

Sure maybe they worked on themselves and are better, but I think that's rare. Most rather just start over. I don't want to invite that into my life.

[This message edited by ShatteredSakura at 7:17 PM, March 8th (Sunday)]

Incarnate posted 3/8/2020 20:09 PM

Pandora16 posted 3/8/2020 21:41 PM


hardtimesinlife posted 3/8/2020 23:52 PM

Hell no! For the same reason as Phoenix. But...cheaters are also liars. I didnít know x had cheated in his 1st marriage until after dday 1..

gmc94 posted 3/9/2020 00:31 AM

Hard no. And it includes cheating at any point. I knew my WH cheated on prior GFs.... turns out being M didnít make a difference. Too many triggers now.

StillLivin posted 3/9/2020 02:09 AM

No. I've never cheated so why should I be with someone who has?

J707 posted 3/9/2020 10:49 AM


AbandonedGuy posted 3/9/2020 11:25 AM

No, but this assumes I'll ever want to get married again (I don't).

lettingo posted 3/9/2020 18:56 PM

never, never, never ...

phmh posted 3/9/2020 19:42 PM

Absolutely not. I wouldn't date someone who'd cheated in a previous relationship. Past behavior is absolutely the best predictor of future behavior, and after reading tons of books on behavior, I no longer believe true -- permanent -- behavior change is possible. People can learn to manage their bad behaviors, but when things get rough, you know what one of their coping mechanisms is. And if someone goes all the way to cheating, there are likely other bad behaviors involved. So even if they never cheat on you, they likely have other behaviors that make them a bad partner (selfishness, entitlement, etc.).

However, as hardtimes said, sometimes cheaters lie about being cheaters. However, when I was dating, I found many who admitted to it with whatever flimsy reason to excuse it

Thanksgiving2016 posted 3/9/2020 21:16 PM

NO why leave the current one

EmbraceTheChange posted 3/9/2020 21:24 PM

No thanks, lol.

I divorced my x-husband to not have a cheater in my life, so I'm not going to date another one.

LoveTKO posted 3/10/2020 07:13 AM

I wouldn't even date someone who cheated in a long term relationship. No way. To me it's a question of character.


steadychevy posted 3/10/2020 07:23 AM

No. But how would you know? If they told you they're honest, at least. I'm thinking that there are a lot who wouldn't admit it.

BigBlueEyes posted 3/10/2020 07:34 AM

Cheating...hard pass for me
Violence....hard pass again
Narcissistic or sociopathic behaviours...do not even pass go!!!

I donít care how much work they have seemingly done,
I wonít ever be vulnerable to any of the above ever again,
I canít & wonít take that chance!!

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