SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Can beauty come out of ashes?

My resounding answer is "Yes".

Thanks to the people on SI and so many friends who walked into the flames and carried me out of the smoldering wreckage of my life when there was nothing left of me, I survived. I work on myself every single day. And my life is so much better than I ever imagined it could be

I will be spending the holidays with people who love me, care for me, and never ever lie to me. I am so very grateful.

The song "Ashes" by Celine Dion has a special place for me. My world shattered when I found pictures of my can't be ex soon enough cheating husband and one of his AP's on the internet with several of their closest friends at the Deadpool 2 premiere.

So when your world is burning down and you are in pieces, reach out. SI and my friends saved my life and I will forever be grateful.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. You are amazing and I hope you know that!

My children just reminded me last night as last one moved out of the dorm for winter break that "from the ashes of disaster come the roses of success"

Three years later: annulment granted, new job, new home, new car, new friends, new life, new me.

Yes, beauty out of ashes.

thanks for reminder

Absolutely Shehawk!

I think this is such an important post. We know there are so many just finding SI or those who are still in the deep, deep part of pain. The place so down that all you can do is cry....you cry driving to work, you cry in the shower, you cry at night in bed. You feel like the tears will never end. The pain will never lessen.

Even though I am ten years out (wahooo a decade!) - I remember sneaking peaks over at the NB board. Just to see a glimpse that there was life on the other side. While you are not sure YOU will personally ever make it; I found great comfort in seeing all those on NB living/walking their new paths!

So to everyone feeling like this is so raw and hard that you may never survive it. Please keep working on yourself and crawling towards that path.

Will your NB be perfect? Nah. BUT I can say that it is so much better when you are not dealing with someone who may constantly lie, or cheat, or drink, or having other addictions. Someone who may be skimming your joint money for dates and gifts that are not for you.

I am able to face life's new challenges with a strong support team ON my side (versus battling against me).

Whether you are with a new partner or not - it is sooooo much better!

Wishing all of you on SI the best'est New Year!

Thanks everyone. TRIGGER WARNING

I was destroyed. Devestated. Cruelly and deliberately betrayed beyond description. I spent days sobbing in the floor a fetal position while my can't be ex soon enough did things like abandon me and go to sleep in another part of the house, walked over or around me, took pictures of me , handed me a loaded gun and told me to just kill myself (yep it was that bad) or just stared....

The counselors also imho perpetrated the abuse by failing to acknowledge how horrifically abusive infidelity actually is. (Feel free to read my old posts.)

But no longer!! I eventually was pulled/crawled out of the burning wreckage, worked on myself every. single. day.

And I am now blessed beyond measure.

I said if I survived I would bring others out of the wreckage. So Happy Holidays to All

There IS life after infidelity. And it can be wonderful!

Shehawk that is one beautiful and bad ass post my internet friend.

Shine on!

"I am able to face life's new challenges with a strong support team ON my side (versus battling against me)."

^^^^^This^^^^

I LOVE THIS !!! Thanks so much for sharing!!!

Shehawk,

Thanks for posting this. I need to know this is waiting on the other side. I'm still walking over a few more hot coals to get there - but this helps a lot!

I’m so glad! Yes, I’m so grateful you posted. It’s going to be a long journey to get through it all and I have already been dealing with infidelity for nearly five years. It’s good to read that it’s so much better on the other side!

Shehawk :

I can relate. After D day, my XWW just kept on dating the OM openly, and, at one point, she moved out because "seeing me so depressed was very annoying". I don’t remember the D day date, but I remember that!

But you know what? People like that can’t be happy. They are self destructive and they’ll be miserable all their lives.

I’m happily remarried now. It’s important to be stubborn. Just because we married a piece of garbage, doesn’t mean there are no good people out there.

Do you know many SI members with the word "Happy" in them? My username is no accident . For all the readers of new beginnings, I say this: yes you can be happy again .

[This message edited by ShutterHappy at 7:54 AM, December 22nd (Sunday)]

Atta girl!

Yes beauty can come from ashes - it’s literally my story-

08/2017 Found out about LTA

09/2017 Let him move back in’ caught him texting her, asked for D

10 - 11 2017 He moved out and we filed for D. I got the house

12/2017. Dog dies of cancer

01/2018. House fire - destroyed half the house, hospitalized for two week..........

Today

Rebuilt home

Brand new furniture - lots of company

Reconnected with old friends

Burns have all fully recovered no noticeable scars

Met some FANTASTIC men...so many great connections

Have a boyfriend who I ❤️ And is a great fit for me.

No longer angry at ex - really don’t care he imploded his life anymore.

To rise like a phoenix from the ashes means to emerge from a catastrophe stronger, smarter and more powerful.

These posts are great to read. I have experienced changes and improvements within me from Dday. I am actually able to enjoy many aspects of my life. I can also appreciate the stability of my mind and what endless possibilities there will be for me and my DD.

Like many of you have said before, great job, house, family, friends and health. Enveloping these around yourself in crisis gives you strength that you never thought you had.

And just as the Phoenix rose from the ashes,

She too will rise.

Returning from the flames,

Clothed in nothing but her strength,

More beautiful than ever before.

NB x

California

Your story is so inspirational!

I cried reading everyone's story!

Thank you for this post. Such a timely encouragement for me. I pray to find the strength you have found.

I wouldn't have the beautiful and loving GF I have now, were it not for the ashes of 2014-2015

so inspiring cheatee!

[This message edited by Shehawk at 9:07 PM, January 3rd (Friday)]

These stories are so inspiring!!

I was in a bad marriage, but didn't want to see the truth. He wasn't appreciative of the wonderful person I am. Narcissists tend to be that way

wish I could post before and after pics. But friends and family who are still in my life say I look years younger and really happy ("beautiful") out of what a friend refers to as the box of darkness that was my life with my cheating can't be ex soon enough husband of more than 3 decades.

I survived infidelity. So can you.

This is where I want to be one day. I'm still in the midst of the fire but the flames are out and I'm fighting my way back. The pain is unimaginable first living in infidelity for over a decade (could possibly be the entire marriage I'm not sure) and now IHS. My STBX is also a narcissist.

Reading this gives me hope and something to look forward to