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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Menz Thread - Part 34

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Mr. Kite ( member #28840) posted at 5:54 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020

Porcupine Tree I highly recommend.

Yes, have listened to them many times. Steven Wilson is quite the talent.

By the way, R.I.P. Neil Peart

Have been watching Rush concerts all weekend on You Tube and searching for and reading interviews with Neil Peart.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1171   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8495633
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 6:14 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2020

TBK - Would love to see your video. I'm sure it's great.

Incarnate - How are the planter and bed projects going? I'm sure that blue pine is going to look great.

It’s kinda like turning off the TV yesterday during the Chiefs - Texans game with Houston up 24-0 because your wife asked you to throw out the garbage, and then coming back after 3 minutes wanting to watch those Texans continue to stomp all over the Chiefs and going WTF??!!!

That game was fucking nuts, Walloped. I was rooting for the Texans, mainly because they were the underdog, and the Chefs are AFC West rivals of my team. Crazy voodoo shit going on with that comeback.

Westway - I finally had a chance to check out Airbag. Great stuff! I'm surprised I haven't heard of them before. I'm a long time fan of Porcupine Tree, and pretty much anything Steven Wilson touches. Wilson even produced my favorite Opeth albums. The guy is brilliant.

Have you checked out the Polish band Riverside yet?

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8496175
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WornDown ( member #37977) posted at 8:47 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2020

Have been watching Rush concerts all weekend on You Tube and searching for and reading interviews with Neil Peart.

x2

Me: BH (50); exW (49): Way too many guys to count. Three kids (D, D, S, all >20)Together 25 years, married 18; Divorced (July 2015)

I divorced a narc. Separate everything. NC as much as humanly possible and absolutely no phone calls. - Ch

posts: 3359   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Around the Block a few times
id 8496292
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 12:03 AM on Wednesday, January 15th, 2020

Would love to see your video. I'm sure it's great.

I'll send you a link. Any and all constructive criticism/opinions appreciated. Pretty sure it isn't "great", certainly not the best work I've ever done, but I'm starting to think it's salvageable. I think part of the problem is that when I look at it, all I can see is the glitches from the dropped frames, and therefore, I've put less effort than normal into editing. I think instead of throwing the whole thing out, what I need to do it to start over. Find better clips, change up the music, put some thought into the whole package, the timing, the flow, instead of just slapping clips into the timeline, throwing some transitions at it and saying "well that sucks".

What I really want to do now though is to order the new housing to go with the new 4K camera But its gonna have to wait a couple months, I don't happen to have the money laying around at the moment. The camera was an impulse born out of frustration and I should have waited (but I don't regret it )

That game was fucking nuts, Walloped

I'm afraid all the football references the last couple days are lost on me....... Sorry.....

[This message edited by tbkjcn at 8:40 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)]

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 667   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8496416
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Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 1:37 AM on Friday, January 17th, 2020

Hey, Losfer. Bed project is going okay. Got the bed rails roughed out yesterday, as well as one of the posts cut to accept it. It's tight, but not perfect. Good thing I'm not necessarily going for perfect; one of the things about rustic beam construction is the 'hand hewn/carved' look that is basically a way of saying "I'm not good enough to make this perfect, so I'm gonna say my mistakes were on purpose."

It works for me though. Here's what I've got so far.

You can see that the back of the bedpost isn't super tight, but the rail itself is VERY tight in the post. I have to seat it with a mallet for the last half inch. I'm torn between using linseed or tung oil vs spar urethane to seal the whole thing when I'm done with it.

[This message edited by Incarnate at 7:46 PM, January 16th (Thursday)]

Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8497414
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Mr. Kite ( member #28840) posted at 5:43 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2020

Best interview I found with Neil Peart.....

Go on You Tube and type in Neil Peart Full Interview On The Hour.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1171   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8497662
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 4:37 PM on Saturday, January 18th, 2020

Incarnate, that's pretty impressive. I'm not going to even pretend that I could do something like that.

I get to spend my birthday sitting around a video game tournament -- excuse me, E-Sports -- watching people watch people play video games. We're providing the bandwidth to the civic center here for the tournament, because their in-house bandwidth sucks -- hard. I've got two 10gigabit fiber feeds run into the building, going out to two different distribution nodes on our network. One is about 4 blocks away, the other is on the other side of town at the ISU campus co-lo facility. They are redundant, on our redundant network.... there will be no network interruptions from my end of things -- you know what they say, good networks don't go down

This is what I wrote elsewhere:

The live streaming is just one stream, run by the official game tournament, so it's not a huge amount of bandwidth. About 20 or 30Mb/s for a 1080 feed. It's not like it's a free-for-all with all the gamers having their own stream. Redundant 10Gb fiber feeds going out to two different distribution nodes on our network are definitely overkill. Their peak bandwidth so far this weekend is about 2Gb/s. And that was when 150 computers were pulling windows updates at the same time during the setup Friday afternoon. The couple dozen public WiFi APs are actually using more bandwidth

But the production gear is pretty impressive. I used to do a little stage tech work years and years ago. They have three video switchers, 6 or 7 cameras (impressive ones, think "Red"), not including the fixed ones on the stage shooting over-the-shoulder shots (5 players per team), audio mixers, light boards, there's more cables and hardware than for a concert.... speaking of which, It's funny, when we were working with the civic center crew a month ago, their power distribution capacity was questioned.... They laughed and said "we put on concerts for nationally known bands, we can handle some computers playing games...." Yeah, well, after several power outages during the first hour last night I think they realized things were maybe more intense than they thought, and I think they had a late night last night . There's about 200 gaming PCs set up on the arena floor, not including the stage where whichever two teams are being featured play "on stream".

What I'm more interested in watching is the general gaming on the arena floor. The "floor" is actually the hockey ice rink, covered by an insulated wooden "floor". Thats a lot of heat being generated out there. Could get damp pretty fast But it is keeping things nice and cool in the arena, its a big heat sink

Today's interesting interface stat:

1182380675 packets input, 1,475,262,993,203 bytes, 0 no buffer

1.47 terabytes since last night.....

[This message edited by tbkjcn at 11:03 AM, January 18th (Saturday)]

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 667   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8497991
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:29 PM on Saturday, January 18th, 2020

Incarnate, Yup - very impressive.

*****

tbkjcn, That's impressive, too. As a hockey fan, I cry for the ice, even though it can recover pretty easily. As an ex-IT guy, and as an ex-IBMer who used to download OS upgrades with 1200 baud modems, I'm blown away by the bandwidth. The redundancy I understand ... no way would I want to be held responsible for a network failure, and I don't even want to imagine how impatient gamers can be.

Power & redundancy: My last gig was consolidating servers from several data centers into one. They did not bring in consultants for the data center design/build, nor would they bring in consultants for actually integrating the servers from the various agencies into one operational entity.

They designed multiple single points of failure for power into this brand new datacenter, and we experienced several outages during the project. The lack of foresight blew me away.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30294   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8498048
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WearingTheHorns ( member #37916) posted at 5:10 AM on Sunday, January 19th, 2020

Incarnate, nice work. You're braver than me cutting mortises and tenons by hand.

Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months
Hoped I'd never have to add this: Dday #2 11/22/2015 Not sure how far it went yet but have a pretty good idea.

2 Cor. 12:9-10

posts: 1036   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2012
id 8498212
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 8:10 PM on Monday, January 20th, 2020

That is badass, Incarnate. When I was younger I started to dabble in some woodwork, and found I just did not have the patience for it. I've always been fascinated by it, though. Love the hand chiseled stuff. That is great. Would love to see more pics as you progress with this project.

Enjoying a day off today that I didn't know I had. Logged into work for like an hour or so this morning, then realized it was a paid holiday.

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8498883
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Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 8:06 AM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2020

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words. I drove to my mom's today and borrowed her jigsaw to be able to properly cut the headboard. I'll do that after work tomorrow and post pictures when I'm done adding the trim to the piece; I don't want to have to see the edge of the plywood.

Started chatting with this lady I matched with on an OLD app. Nothing serious, but she seems to have her shit together, which is super refreshing. A little older than me (turns 40 soon, I just turned 35), has 4 kids, divorced 8 years ago, owns a law services business in my hometown. Gonna see if she wants to get together some evening for dinner and drinks.

Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8499157
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wincing_at_light ( member #14393) posted at 10:12 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2020

My brothers are coming into town for 4 days and crashing at my house.

Who's got bail money? (Just in case.)

You can't beat the Axis if you get VD

posts: 7086   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 8499552
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Mr. Kite ( member #28840) posted at 4:01 AM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

Pics or it didn't happen.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1171   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8499679
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Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 5:15 AM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

Finished the headboard's main shape. Still need to add the black walnut veneer and the edge trim.

As for bail money, I am NOT good for it. I will, however, bake a cake and hide a file in it. That worked in the old Duck Tales cartoons for the Beagle Boys.

[This message edited by Incarnate at 11:16 PM, January 21st (Tuesday)]

Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8499692
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wincing_at_light ( member #14393) posted at 3:08 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

I will, however, bake a cake and hide a file in it. That worked in the old Duck Tales cartoons for the Beagle Boys.

Have you seen the Disney reboot of Duck Tales? (I've got kids in that age bracket, so I have an excuse.)

It is an absolute abomination. I mean, it's career-ending, line-people-up-against-the-wall-for-crimes-against-the-state travesty.

I had to counter by going on Amazon and tracking down complete season DVDs of the original. I'll be damned if I let cultural barbarians corrupt the malleable minds my kids, I tell you.

You can't beat the Axis if you get VD

posts: 7086   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 8499837
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wincing_at_light ( member #14393) posted at 3:19 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

On an unrelated note, SHOT Show 2020 is going on...which means I've now got a brand new list of knives/pocket jewelry that I want, but won't ever buy.

I finally broke down and bought a Benchmade 940 last year to replace the OKC RAT 2 that I'd carried for years. And as much as I love the 940, I'd have to get divorced again to justify treating myself to a $200 pocket knife. That's just too much money for a slicey-dicey chunk of steel when the hardest work I'm going to get out of it is slicing open Amazon boxes.

You can't beat the Axis if you get VD

posts: 7086   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 8499843
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 4:24 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

Finished the headboard's main shape

Looking pretty impressive..... Something like that would be too "big" for my bedroom, but it's looking like its going to come out nice.... I like the handmade look of the mortices...

I drove to my mom's today and borrowed her jigsaw

OK, now there's a sentence I can't imagine I would ever have an opportunity to utter. While my mom certainly knew what a jigsaw is, I can't imagine her ever using one.....

Course, come to think of it, I never imagined I would ever have a need to string the words "I found out my wife was blowing random strangers in the wal-mart parking lot" together either, but yet here I am. I should be more careful about saying "never."

[This message edited by tbkjcn at 10:30 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 667   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8499883
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Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 4:41 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020

OK, now there's a sentence I can't imagine I would ever have an opportunity to utter. While my mom certainly knew what a jigsaw is, I can't imagine her ever using one.....

My mother is an awesome woman. She is all prim and proper, country style house decor with victorian china etiquette and unerring politeness at work, where she is the office manager for a printing press.

She's also the one who taught me how to throw an axe, throw a knife, shoot a rifle, skin a rabbit, deer, and turkey, tan leather, and the basics of woodworking/construction. She truly is a woman of many talents.

Course, come to think of it, I never imagined I would ever have a need to string the words "I found out my wife was blowing random strangers in the wal-mart parking lot" together either, but yet here I am. I should be more careful about saying "never."

You and me both. The ex's 37th birthday is today, she she's spending it so far on the phone with her APs, which is whatever. Admittedly, I either slept through my alarm or it didn't go off or something this morning (no missed alarm notification on my phone, so I think it didn't go off, not sure why; it makes no sense), so she drove my middle daughter to school when that is normally my job, but shit happens.

Normally I wish her a happy birthday, take her out to breakfast, then handle everything while she does her 'round the county freebies' day out with her friends, picking up her birthday goodies at Ulta, Applebees, wherever they have birthday freebies.

Today, I apologized for sleeping past my alarm, helped finish getting the other girls ready for school, and now I am pretending she doesn't exist. Hell, on my birthday, she didn't say boo to me, and I worked all day, and the year before, she left me home with the kids while she went and partied with her girlfriends (I have come to find out that she was drooling over her new boytoy with them during that time).

So yeah. Cheating wives are bullshit, man. Cut 'em off like a split toenail before they dig in any deeper and cause an infection.

[This message edited by Incarnate at 10:51 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]

Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8499897
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 2:48 AM on Friday, January 24th, 2020

She truly is a woman of many talents.

I can certainly see that..... I can't do half of those things. OK, I can't do well, really any of those things. I prefer to buy my meat the way nature intended, on styrofoam trays, wrapped in cling-wrap.

Cheating wives are bullshit, man.

Every post I read about people going through in-house separation, it makes me glad I never had to endure that particular circle of hell. You (and the others going through that) have more strength than I do. It's truly a whole other level of mind-fuck.

As a hockey fan, I cry for the ice

Sisoon, you and all the other hockey fans here will be glad to hear that the ice survived. I never saw any water coming up between the joints of the flooring they laid over it. But by Sunday night when they were down to the last few teams and most of the 200-odd computers had been shut down it was definitely getting cold in there

There were no network outages that could be traced back to me, there was one 3-second interface event where my LAN-facing interface went down (or the WAN-facing LAN interface went down, but it depends on who you ask), but we blamed the LAN folks for that

Now I've moved on, management has decided they want a new distribution node, about 20 miles east of town, about 10 miles off our backbone, but it has to run 5 miles out of its way so we can go through a school. And they want it lit and operational by June. The stack of state, county and township permit applications outside plant has assembled is truly impressive. June ain't gonna happen. But it doesn't become my problem until the last bore is finished, the splice boxes are closed up and I get the end-to-end loss numbers. I plan on being on vacation whenever that is.

They designed multiple single points of failure

Now, I'm all about redundancy. Because I hate having a perfectly good Saturday shot to hell because someone decided to introduce Mr. Fiber to Mr. Backhoe, but I had a VP once that I'm sure the only technical words he knew were "single point of failure." Every project he'd ask if the all single points of failure had been analyzed and removed. Every project. And then complain about the escalating costs. So once when I was feeling particularly annoyed I spoke up (conference call) and said "well, we are putting this all in one building... But we can get quotes to remediate that." It was a conference call and I am not sure he knew who said it. But my boss did. She sent me an IM.

[This message edited by tbkjcn at 8:54 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 667   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8500707
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HeartFullOfHoles ( member #42874) posted at 3:56 AM on Sunday, January 26th, 2020

It has been a long time and I see it's still the same old stuff with a slight change of characters.

After almost four years divorced I can say my life is so much better without her. It was actually much better long before the divorce was final, but it took some time to recover from all her emotional and mental abuse. It may have cost me half of everything I have or will make, but some things are priceless! If you are staying because of the money trust me it's not worth it.

I'm looking forward to the day I can permanently block her on all forms of communication. I had hoped for the sake of our daughters she would get a small clue and become someone I could at least tolerate. Unfortunately I believe her changing would require her to look at all the lies her life is based on and that's just not something she has the strength to do. I understand it's hard and actually have some compassion for her. It just sucks she lies to our girls which does impact my relationship with them.

I had one slightly long term GF, but asked her to leave almost a year ago. She was struggling financially so she sold her condo and moved in with me. I only asked her to share the utilities, but she was always acting like that was too much. Yes, I have a large house, but it was significantly less than what she was spending to live in her condo. It soon became she really wanted to live here for free, was not willing to help clean (because it was my house) and didn't want to help with the cooking. She also complained all the time about having to work even though her typical day was only seven hours.

Once all this came out it was time for her to leave. It still took her a couple months to actually leave. Oh that was fun, but thankfully nothing like what Incarnate and others have been dealing with. Though she was drunk most days when I got home and she was never a nice drunk .

A friends wife recently wanted me to meet someone she knew. It has been a while so I was thinking sure if she's being recommend by someone I know it can't be that bad. Well, it can. She showed up a half an hour late no explanation. Okay that's not too bad. We talk for a minute or two and then she's off to say hi to all her friends that are there, she stops by a few times and then disappears for about half an hour. I eventually see her in the far corner talking to a couple guys . Okay if you're not interested that's fine, but blowing me off like that was just rude! It took me an hour and a half to get there in hellish traffic. Thankfully the music was good so not a complete loss.

I think next time my answer will be thanks, but no thanks. I know there are a bunch of great woman out there, but they all seem to be married, involved or recovering from one of the former going south. I just want off this roller coaster!

Mr Copper doesn't like Mr Backhoe much better. It seems like most of the time it's because Mr Lazy-Installer didn't follow Mr Engineers directions. Oh no one will notice if I go over the culvert instead of under and shouldn't six inches be deep enough in the ditch, because Mr Grader or Mr Backhoe never need to clean the ditch.

Though it's often much worse when Mr Backhoe meets Mr Gas or Mr High-Voltage. Thankfully I'm only familiar with Mr Copper and Mr Backhoe and that's only because Mr Line-Marker was incompetent.

I think it's time for some dinner and maybe Mr White-Russian, though only one since I don't like drinking alone.

And yes, RIP Neil Peart. One of my friends, a drummer in a local band, was joking "there are thousand of bands looking for an easy Rush song to cover." My comment "Ya, good luck!" They are actually good enough they could likely do a reasonable job covering Rush, but they are professionals and reasonable is not good enough for them.

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters

posts: 782   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014
id 8501426
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