It was an interesting night.
My parents wanted the kids tomorrow evening (a dinner party with friend's of theirs that have kids) and to possibly keep them overnight since they pick them up Sunday mornings anyway.
I told the exWW that they were staying there (our agreement basically says if they are staying overnight elsewhere, we have to "approve" it).
She asked to call my eldest DS and talk to him. I would never, nor could I legally anyway, refuse the phone call. So she calls and talks to him, and then asks to talk to me. She tells me that my dad called my son stupid and that it should be his choice whether he stays at his grandparent's house. Told is the wrong word... it was more of a "you better let my son make his own choices or else" type of command.
I am all for talking to him and getting to the bottom of this. It didn't sound like my dad (though he can be rather rough around the edges). Anyway, I didn't like her tone and the way she was berating me, so I hung up.
I talked to my son, and even called my dad and we spoke to him on speaker phone. (We learned the incident was months ago (exWW said "a couple of weeks ago"), and he felt like he was being called stupid, not actually being called stupid). It was a mess. My dad said they don't have to stay the night if DS does not want to, and apologized that he made DS feel like he was calling him stupid.
Backtrack: Earlier today my GF texted the exWW about forgetting DS's medicines yet again (it happens a lot...). I did not want her to do so as trying to have a conversation with the exWW is like trying to convince a brick that its water... its not going to happen. (We talked about her doing this.)
Anyway, exWW's BF (using exWW's phone) texts her back saying that "they will raise their kids the way they want" and she can stop playing at being a step mom. This pissed me off, but again, I would have better luck with the brick.
OK, back to after talking to my dad. I gave in and texted her "I will raise my kids the way I want." Right or wrong, I sent it.
The rest of the evening was the exWW's BF, again using her phone to send messages, threatening me, saying I am a bitch because I am a baker and he is a real man because he works on cars, telling me to speak for myself and keep "[my] bitch's mouth shut".
I told him to stop peacocking around and just laughed.
My favorite was when he said, "what kind of money you make making my donuts?"
I replied with, "Enough to pay you to fix my car."
So he showed he is possessive, she has him wrapped around her finger (he is talking for her, the very thing he accused my GF of doing for me, but didn't), is willing to threaten people, peacocks around and think's he is a man for the sheer fact he works on cars.
Its kinda nice to know my suspicions about the both of them are true... at the same time I fear for my children. She will use them against me, slander, lie and cheat. It also shows what kind of guy she has brought into their lives.
I honestly don't know what to do to help them. My oldest DS is becoming attached to the BF because he is allowed to use power tools to destroy stuff (DS said stuff like bikes... not just random things as far as I can tell). But in his peacocking around he basically called my kids wimps for being afraid of the dark.
I love my children, I just don't know how to handle all of this. I wish I had stuck to NC and said nothing, but I felt some relief fighting back. Past experience says she will twist everything, especially with my kids. I have this gut feeling that by the time they are old enough to choose where they want to live themselves, I will be the villain.