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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Menz Thread-Part 33

Topic is Sleeping.
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LivingWithPain ( member #60578) posted at 6:56 PM on Thursday, October 11th, 2018

Interesting bit of a conversation with the wife today. Every so often I bring up the idea of whether she is really happy and if she really wants to be married. Today she laughed and basically told me, "look, if I didn't want to be here I wouldn't.' I said, maybe you just feel comfortable with the situation and don't want to be alone. She basically laughed and said," Don't think I am being full of myself but we both know I wouldn't be alone." I thought, yea she is right because she is basically a 15 on a bad day. At that point I just said, ok and it ended. For some reason it made me feel better.

Wow. Her modesty is admirable.

Me - 39; WW - 36
Married 13 years
1 Adopted Son age 18
Still married and living together: attempting to reconcile.

posts: 1072   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2017
id 8264745
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LivingWithPain ( member #60578) posted at 6:57 PM on Thursday, October 11th, 2018

I think the more recent term for doing the plaster cast dick mold is "clone your bone".

Me - 39; WW - 36
Married 13 years
1 Adopted Son age 18
Still married and living together: attempting to reconcile.

posts: 1072   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2017
id 8264749
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numb&dumb ( Guide #28542) posted at 7:12 PM on Thursday, October 11th, 2018

For some reason it made me feel better.

It made you feel better because she bascially said she is choosing to be with you again. She did it in a horribly indirect way, but sometimes you have to take what you c an get.

Butforthegrace- Do you think she ever looked at it and got weepy about the "one that got away?" Or even held it and cried ?

Not to make any more light of this situation, but that is sitcom level funny right there

Sometimes the artsy ones are . . .let's just use "Gauche," to describe them.

10/22 is a great gun. Popping off those little bullets. Way back when I had my first one they made a banana clip for it. It held 100 rounds . . . to this day there are parts near where I grew up that the squirrel population has never recovered.

Sporting clays are fun. If you don't do it enough, you end up with a bruised shoulder. Something satisfying about seeing those discs turn into powder in mid air.

Anyway today is my anniversary. Not "antiversary." Things get better gents. M do survive this. BH do grow and become better people . . .On an 100%, completely unrelated note. . . Does anyone know if they sell plaster of paris at Lowes ?

Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.

Bring it, life. I am ready for you.

posts: 4970   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 8264754
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99lawdog99 ( member #42615) posted at 11:24 PM on Thursday, October 11th, 2018

Living with pain- Oh yes it is, but I can't blame her, she is 49 and puts 25 year olds to shame.

numb- exactly, I will take whatever I can get at this point in my life.

Me 54
WW 45
Married 25 years, together 27 WW's first and only til A
In R
"Sometimes we have to be knocked down to our lowest point so that we can reach our highest Level"

posts: 713   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2014   ·   location: pa
id 8264906
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 1:47 AM on Friday, October 12th, 2018

Never had a 10/22. I'm more of a lever action guy, love my old Marlin 30 30. I think we have 9 guns, and when we had the ranch in Texas shot all the time. We only have a few acres here in Virginia so we don't shoot much anymore. We could, but want to keep the peace with the neighbors. We do have an old iron site Mitchell Mauser 8mm that is a blast to shoot, plus an assortment of handguns and my wife's shotgun. She can shoot doubles, and I can stand back and admire because that's not my thing. So we have guns but just don't shoot much anymore. However, golf now occupies the time I used to spend shooting and I think that's a fair trade.

Married: 24 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5786   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 8264998
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:31 PM on Saturday, October 13th, 2018

I checked out of the thread when I got tired of reading the innocent until proven guilty debate. Checked back in this morning and wondered "what the hell is going on here?". I had to go back a few pages to catch up from where I left.

Tred basically nailed it. I wonder if said XWGF has a collection. Nostalgia. Like - this one was in 1997/8 and this one was...

I want to make it perfectly clear that I'm not the friend of which numb&dumb speaks.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8265757
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:37 PM on Saturday, October 13th, 2018

Football game today. Edmonton Eskimos v Ottawa RedBlack (what kind of name is that?). Three down, wide field, long field, one yard scrimmage Canadian football. Busing in courtesy of the local vet clinic. Forecast 1 degree above freezing Celsius. I believe I'll have my Friday beer today.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8265758
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 3:46 PM on Saturday, October 13th, 2018

That's the problem with the metric system. 34 sounds so much warmer than 1.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26040   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8265826
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Candyman66 ( member #52535) posted at 1:49 AM on Sunday, October 14th, 2018

High school football. Last night was different from the usual here, we actually got some weather. Thunder, lots of lightning and 37 high school football games stopped during halftime for safety.

Watching the football highlights for all the high school games and that running back I mentioned before ran well again. Don't know how many yards but saw 2 - 80 yard touchdown runs and a total of 5 touchdowns in 1st half!! Wow.

edit to update. 320 yards gained in 1st half!

Going to UCLA after graduation, football scholarship - surprise.!

[This message edited by Candyman66 at 9:40 PM, October 13th (Saturday)]

posts: 1259   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2016   ·   location: SoCal
id 8266061
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Rideitout ( member #58849) posted at 1:55 PM on Sunday, October 14th, 2018

I made a post in general about a woman having sex a few times a week in her A and also with her H and it got me thinking.. Well, that and laughing, because a woman posted about how crazy an amount of sex that is where it seemed to me that would be "just fine". So, question to the gents here, if you had a willing/enthusiastic partner, what do you think your preferred sexual frequency would be? I think I'm a squarely 1X per day (averaged over a month, 2X some days, 0 times others when one of us is feeling off) guy. And I thought that was pretty "normal" until reading that post where 1X a day was considered crazy. So, now, I wonder, am I crazy. Oh, I already know the answer to that (yes), so, let's just see if I'm crazy with my sexual expectations.

Oh, and for the record, during her A, my wife had sex FAR more often than this. Every time she was with the AP it was several times a day. So, I know if I am crazy, there's at least one other crazy person out there too (the AP). At least until karma catches up to him and leaves him with incurable ED.

posts: 3287   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2017
id 8266188
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Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 2:22 PM on Sunday, October 14th, 2018

In my younger years I'd be about 1X a day, sometimes twice a day. Now, I'm pushing 60, my body's ideal frequency would be about every other day.

"The wicked man flees when no one chases."

posts: 3771   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2018   ·   location: Midwest
id 8266202
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 2:58 PM on Sunday, October 14th, 2018

34 does sound warmer than 1, sisoon. It was cold with the swirling wind. Edmonton Eskimos (my team) won 34 to 16.

Frequency: Probably average 1X per day most of life. I've slowed down, too, with age. Don't really know now since I live alone. I expect I'd once every 2 days or maybe 3 days. What scares the heck out of me is that I read somewhere that it's a use it or lose it situation, especially when you age.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8266220
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stolenyears ( member #65758) posted at 3:39 PM on Sunday, October 14th, 2018

I asked my fWW this question early into recovery. The question was what would your optimal frequency for sex be? She told me I might be surprised, but every day. She has never maintained that frequency before, but I would highly suggest getting on the same page as your spouse if they are still in the picture. If you are a once a day person and your significant other is a twice a month person for maintenance, that might not work out...

I could do multiples a day before d-day, and now I would like 1x, but some times I don’t feel it. Definitely not the same. Totally enjoy it, but it doesn’t carry the same weight as before.

Me: BH
Her: fWW
Married: 30 years, kids 26, 23 and 16
DDay: 5-24-17, multiple APs
Current status: In Recovery

posts: 165   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2018
id 8266241
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Rideitout ( member #58849) posted at 12:50 AM on Monday, October 15th, 2018

So.. Sounds like 1-2X per day is pretty par for the course so far. That's not at all surprising to me because, of course, I fall into the range too. What is interesting though, and maybe a topic for a post in general, is that it was considered "a crazy amount" of sex for a WW to service the AP a few times a week and her husband. No, not crazy at all, in fact, probably averaged out to sex 5-10 times a week.. Exactly in line with what I'd consider "normal" for me.

posts: 3287   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2017
id 8266466
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PlanC ( member #47500) posted at 5:46 PM on Monday, October 15th, 2018

At 50, my preference would be every other day, although I am still able to perform daily. My xWW desires every day—her libido is higher than mine.

BS 50; xWW. 4 children.
DD 1: April 2013, confessed ONS June 2012
DD 2: March 2014, confessed affair August 2012 through March 2013
DD 3: October 2015, involuntarily confessed 5 additional ONS starting August 2014 through November 2014 (manic)

posts: 2202   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015
id 8266802
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numb&dumb ( Guide #28542) posted at 6:56 PM on Monday, October 15th, 2018

1 x per day to me does seem excessive. Life gets in the way, sometimes I really would rather watch TV, read or play video games with the very little spare time that I do have.

Easier to "supplement," if I have needs, but I am too lazy to put forth the effort to make it a mutual activity. Than move onto something I'd rather be doing instead of my W.

I guess if I had a partner that I was more in sync with and was a lot more adventurous I could be up for more than once a week. When you've been together for a longer period of time the fireworks become "meh," and you know it won't be as good as you would expect. There is always tomorrow night, right ?

Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.

Bring it, life. I am ready for you.

posts: 4970   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 8266852
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 7:10 PM on Monday, October 15th, 2018

During our extended HB, almost a year, I would say from my 50th and 51st years on the planet -- that's the most we went at it, including our time in our 20's.

A mutual desperation to reconnect proved to be a powerful force and we enjoyed each other everyday for over a year. Sometimes more than once a day in that stretch. In one of the few light moments, she asked to see my birth certificate to prove my age.

In year three now of 'recovery' or in this 'new' era of the relationship, we're 3-4 times a week. I'll hit 54 in April and I physically feel younger than ever. I could push for more, but actually, weirdly looking for a little more balance to the physical side of the M.

Mentally, I feel 95 after dealing with all the traumatic shit that goes with this stuff.

No plaster replica yet, but I do dare to dream...

Married 34+ years, together 40+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived
Restoration takes time.
"Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself." ― Epictetus

posts: 4181   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: PNW. The adventure continues.
id 8266865
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numb&dumb ( Guide #28542) posted at 8:14 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2018

Ok it has been a weird week for me professionally . . .cuts to staff and benefits announced. I need a menz type distraction.

Anyone have any amusing anecdotes ? Anyone find the youtube about plaster casting your junk yet?

Anyone had a weirder experience ?

Two hours until 5 PM on the "right" coast. . . beer o'clock anyone ?

Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.

Bring it, life. I am ready for you.

posts: 4970   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 8270301
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Zigin ( new member #56420) posted at 8:27 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2018

Ok it has been a weird week for me professionally . . .cuts to staff and benefits announced. I need a menz type distraction.

Anyone have any amusing anecdotes ? Anyone find the youtube about plaster casting your junk yet?

Anyone had a weirder experience ?

Two hours until 5 PM on the "right" coast. . . beer o'clock anyone ?

I can match your cuts and raise you a crazy WW interaction. Headed to the fridge.

Me: BH, 40s
Her: WS, 40s
Two children, one at home, one in school.

posts: 30   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2016
id 8270308
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numb&dumb ( Guide #28542) posted at 8:39 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2018

crazy WW interaction

Yeah I am glad those days are past me.

What is in the fridge ? Trying to figure out my what do pick up on the way home . . .beer . . .scotch . . .both ? Vodka Martinis and watch James Bond movies ? IDK.

Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.

Bring it, life. I am ready for you.

posts: 4970   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 8270314
Topic is Sleeping.
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