SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I don’t really have the time to post right now, but I wanted to ask you for your prayers or thoughts or anything else you can virtually send our way. My wife had a mental breakdown yesterday and is in the hospital. When she was brought in yesterday the ER doc called it a parasuicide attempt. My physician, after talking to me, disagreed calling it a severe acute anxiety attack.

Ah, fuck it. I won’t have the head for this later. Basically, my wife read my threads and saying they didn’t go over well is such an understatement it’s like calling Bill Buckner letting Mookie’s grounder through his legs in the ‘86 World Series just an “error.” My wife wanted to read my threads. She apparently kept getting questions and comments that came from things I said about what happened and people suggested she read my threads and thought it might be helpful so she asked me and that made sense to me so I finally said fine. I figured it’s been long enough that she could read it. Maybe it would even help. So she started reading Friday night and when I went to bed she was still reading. Yesterday morning when I woke up and went downstairs she was still in the den in her pajamas. She didn’t look good. She was obviously crying a lot, her eyes were red and I don’t know if she slept at all last night but she was engrossed in the iPad so I left her alone. She barely registered that I was even there. I took care of breakfast for the kids. My older kids had plans with friends and I took my youngest son to my brother’s house to spend the day with his cousin and I had errands to run and then I had a networking commitment in the afternoon so I left her alone. Besides it looked like she was still reading. I came home to change at around 2:00. I can’t even describe it. The house was quiet. I called for her but got no answer. I went upstairs to change and the bedroom was dark. She was on the floor back up against the wall. She was crying and hugging herself and rocking back and forth. Her lips were moving but she wasn’t saying anything loud enough for me to hear. And then I saw blood. There was blood coming from her arms. She had also thrown up on herself and the carpet was stained. It looked like she had wet herself too and was just sitting in it all just crying and muttering. I was so scared she slit her wrists. Thank God she hadn’t. But there were deep scratches in her arms. All over the place. Her nails had dug into her arms and there was blood from all these scratches. I called her and she didn’t answer me and just kept rocking and talking to herself and crying. And then I touched her shoulder and she freaked. Like I woke her up or something and she just freaked and started screaming at me not to touch her and she started hitting me. I tried to hug her and hold her to calm her down and she was cold and clammy like dried up sweat and she was just yelling - not yelling, screeching really that I shouldn’t touch her. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. I’m a monster. I’m a whore. You hate me. DD1 hates me. DD2 hates me. DD3 hates me. You hate me. I’m a monster. I’m a whore. You hate me. I’m a whore. Over and over. Like it was a mantra. When I moved back she just curled up again with her knees to her chest and she went right back to hugging herself, rubbing herself and rocking and muttering. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. I called 911 and then I called her sister. When the paramedics came they wanted to make sure it wasn’t a suicide attempt. They looked for pill bottles and things like that. That didn’t even occur to me. They took her to the hospital. Amazingly she didn’t fight them. I packed a bag and went. And she was admitted, they gave her something. Ativan (I think). I called my doc and he came to check her out. They gave her something to help her sleep. Knocked her out. I spent most of the night there and came home like 2:00am to sleep a bit and shower. My SIL apparently had come over and cleaned up our bedroom. She’s really wonderful. Anyway, I’m heading back there now. My doc wants to do a full eval on her before he’s ready to release her.

Any thoughts or prayers would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

I'm so sorry that this has happened. That she reached a rock bottom so deep... I'm glad she's amenable to getting help. She needs the so much. You all need this very much. I hope you are all in counselling as this affects everyone.

I'm sorry. Praying for you and your family.

I’m so sorry, Walloped. Please take good care of yourself.

Sending good thought and energy your way.

I am so sorry Walloped.

I am glad your wife is in the hospital getting the support she needs.

Please remember this isn’t your fault.

Sending your family extra strength.

Hang in there

Rosie

Praying for you and your wife.

You and your family are in my prayers...it sounds like you both are surrounded by loving and caring people...

I know this place is anonymous but there are a lot of anonymous people here who care

Peace

I am praying for your family.

It sounds scary and that emotionally her mind couldn’t handle it.

Many, many prayers.

I am very sorry.

I'm so sorry. I hope she gets the help she needs and that her healing can begin. Prayers to you, your wife and your family.

My prayers and thoughts for you and your family, Walloped. 🙏🙏🙏

Drumstick

Praying for you and your family.

Praying very hard for you and your family.

Sending strength and wishing you both peace.

isitme24

I have read your wife's posts and she sounded like she was doing so well. She owned her shit and some of the things she said really helped me understand my WH a little bit more.

I'm really pulling for the two of you. I am glad she is getting the help she needs and I hope she can begin to heal along with your healing.

My thoughts are with both of you.

Walloped I'm so sorry for you and your family. My heart hurts for you. Truly hurts.

I'm impressed by how well you have held yourself together. I'm sure it's not easy.

This thing called, life, is certainly not simple but it does promise to keep changing - so here's holding on to hope for some positive change.

Sending ((hugs)) to you and Mrs. Walloped.

[This message edited by SAM25nov2016 at 11:30 AM, March 11th (Sunday)]

Best wishes to both of you. Focus on what is really important.

She is finally getting the help she needs for both of you and your future together.

You have a wonderful family. You are both part of that. Close this chapter of your life.

Seeing the title on this thread made my heart drop into my stomach.

Even with all you have both endured you are truly two wonderful people.

If I lived out east still I’d help you with whatever you need.

I know you have a good family support system and you will get through this together.

If there’s anything any of us can do remotely please let us know.

So many here are invested in the welfare of the two of you and your family so please whenever you can, let us know how you are doing.

I'm sorry she's suffering. i suspect reading your thread - her shame overwhelmed her...reading the raw pain all at once - instead of tackling small bits in a single sitting, the shame flooded in. This might be a blessing in disguise...she can explore this in IC.

Much like when a BS reads the texts and/or letters long after an affair is over, and once R is well underway, it can help to have a then and now mentality. Perhaps, once she recovers - if she still wants to read your threads - it can be done together. It might help ground her when she begins to spiral down the rabbit hole.

I'm so sorry.

It doesn't mean much, but I thought she was in shape to read your early posts, too.

I'm really glad it's a 'para-' attempt, and not more damaging to her body. I hope she connects in healthy ways with at least one of the therapists in the hospital.

She can't erase her A, but she can redeem herself, and it sounds like she is well on her way to doing that. I hope she learns in the hospital that is all she can ask of herself.

Best wishes and mojo to you and your family.