SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

These stories are truly horrendous; I ditched my ww immediately after dday, thus was spared details of the deceit.

I likely would be serving time had I became aware of such deception.

I needed to schedule a colonoscopy because I was having painful GI symptoms my doctor was concerned about. When I called WH from the GI's office to set a date that worked with his schedule, he said he couldn't take off the early July dates offered (two. He was so smooth about it. I won't get into the details. So I ended up having this test 7 weeks later in late August. The planned trip to cavort around Miami and the Keys with AP, which he covered up convincingly, was more important than my health.

BTW, the gut KNOWS! So many things made sense. That topic deserves its own thread.

I have known that mine is certainly not the worst story, but damn! I suppose my "worst" is tame compared to other's on this thread...

Our neighbor's house was for sale (and vacant). My WH and I took care of things for neighbor since he had moved 45 minutes away. So we had the combination to the realtor lock on the door.

On three separate occasions after I had gone to bed for the night, WH and BAW (AP) met at neighbor's and had sex on the floor in the empty living room. Yes, while I slept in our bed less than 50 feet away.

Runner-up to that is on two separate occasions, WH took half-days at work and spent with BAW (AP). WH always calls me during his lunch and on these two says, he did as well. Yes, after just having had sex with BAW (AP), he then called me and carried on a normal conversation like he was at work. BTW, the lunch that I packed for him on those 2 days...threw it in the trash and ate whatever BAW (AP) had for him at her slum-hood house

So many sad stories. Infidelity really is hell.

Put one of our families dogs down because she felt it was unsafe around her a.p's young daughter who was always at our house. I fought tooth and nail about this decision with her. She put him down while i was at work and couldn't intervene.

The dog started lashing out because ww caged him constantly because a.p and daughter were always at our house. I didn't know he was a.p yet, that came after.

He was supposed to have been a good friend of mine of over 20 years. That was my big DDAY double betrayal that first blew my marriage apart 5 years ago.

[This message edited by Nycountrystrong at 8:06 PM, February 18th (Sunday)]

He conceived a child with OW.

Even though my wife's A was short lived in its active phase (about 10 days), there were a few things that really disgust me. For example, she spent all night (literally a 6 hour phone session until 3am) with her AP while I was gone with our 16 year old, followed by an email to me the next evening that said I "needed to turn up the woo", followed by "I can't wait till I can welcome you back home."

All of this being the result of her actual desires she expressed for him. That disgusts me.

Where to start?

- Sent me roses on Valentine's day...while he was in another state... with another woman

-Took me to an employee party at a local ballpark with our daughter and grandson. OW was there and got a good chance to look me over and laugh at me. He exposed not only me, but our daughter and grandchild to that filth. OW had her young children there as well.

One of our children went thru rehab. At the center, we were to lay out all of our truths and agree to give something physically or mentally unhealthy up since our child was giving up alcohol. He had not had an physical affair yet, but was in the planning stages with a woman he had met months earlier. She was from New Zealand! New Zealand!!! As far across the world as possible. Yet, they thought they were meant to be together.

They spent months planning to meet up in Canada. He could have put that truth out there, but instead went right into that affair within 2 weeks of that very spiritual and cleansing rehab session.

-Spent thousands of dollars on airfare/meals/trinkets flying the OW's across the country to wherever he was working.

-spent time in Vegas with OW. She left, next day he had me fly in.

-contacted his girlfriend from high school and started an affair with her.

-took me on a business trip. We had a really wonderful, romantic trip. He met OW working on his crew during this trip. Exchanged numbers and within 2 weeks, flew her out to Vegas.

-gaslighted me when I found condoms in his suitcase. When I confronted him about them, he said that I had him buy them because I had a yeast infection. I had done that in the past, so I bought it hook, line and sinker.

-took Ow to places, cities, and restaurants that were so important to OUR story. He says now that it wasn't to hurt me, just that he lacked originality...

-I had a hysterectomy. Next day, he left for a business trip. Had my sister come take care of me instead of putting the trip off.

-His Dad almost died 3 different times during/after brain surgery. I sat at his bedside almost nonstop. While my H, HIS son, was off texting and talking to OW.

-His mom had Alzheimer's. I spent 2-3 nights a week over in-laws home helping to care for her for a period of 18 months (until she entered a memory care unit). H (again, HER son) rarely visited or called. I kept telling him he had to face her diagnosis. I thought it was that he wasn't able to deal with her downward spiral. In reality, it was that he was too busy keeping his OW straight. He didn't have space in his selfish, self serving, piggish life for his own mother. Yet it was ok for me to care for her.

- I went to Florida with his parents to help them have a small vacation before his mom entered the memory care unit. He was off on a business trip with OW. Flew in toward the end of the week and acted like he was the hero coming in off of his white horse to save the day.

- The following year, his entire family went to Florida (without Mom). H flew in late, once again, because he was working out of town. Yes, OW was with him.

-cheated on his OW with other OW.

Wow! I'm exhausted now. It was actually cathartic to bullet point these. I will share them with H. Not to shame or punish him, but to show him what my world looked like after learning of his 5 year loss of morality, integrity, dignity and humanity.

Didn’t use protection is pretty high up there. Letting her be around my kids with all of us in the same room one time was the worst thing he ever did. She shook my hand and smiled. He watched my youngest daughter and smiled. I don’t know why but that went from disgusting to villainous to me.

Didn’t use protection is pretty high up there. Letting her be around my kids with all of us in the same room one time was the worst thing he ever did. She shook my hand and smiled. He watched my youngest daughter and smiled. I don’t know why but that went from disgusting to villainous to me.

Yes, bringing him into our daughter's life is up there and, depending on my mood, sometimes at the top. I was triggered bigtime tonight at a party when WW started talking about our last trip to NYC as a family. We met up with OM's family who were conveniently there for the weekend too! (What a f'n coincidence!!) We had lunch together and the kids played, they played at a museum and in the park. It's a very special memory for me (about to vomit), glad she brought it up. I guess the one bright side is that it is one of the few times over that time period when I am sure they didn't have sex.

Of course, like everyone else here, no condoms for her either.

[This message edited by Lazarus at 9:41 PM, February 18th (Sunday)]

I forgot about the day I had a mammogram and had to have a needle aspiration. She Called her OW three times and went out that night . . .

He allowed me to suffer a difficult to diagnose STD (difficult under ideal circumstances, impossible when contracted orally and infecting the respiratory tract) for a year without so much as a whisper to our shared PCP, a doctor KNOWN for philandering, who would have (and ultimately did) cover for him. He didn’t care enough to tell our doctor, “hey, I have unprotected sex with high risk partners (hookers).” (I thought he was “working late.”)

I was so sick I drowned in secretions every time I laid down and cracked ribs coughing. The best ENTs and pulmonologist in the Texas Medical Center were flummoxed. My asshole ex “didn’t think of it” when asked why he never told anyone I might have been exposed. The organism—a protozoan responsive to very few meds—finally showed up vaginally. Until then I really sufferered.

He also transmitted Group B strep to me–a leading cause of neonatal pneumonia and death–during pregnancy, after I’d already tested negative. Thank GOD my doctor was out of town on delivery day & there were not electronic records with my results of earlier tests to give false security. The Doc on call repeated the test, which necessitated change in birth plan. This was not presented to me as STD (no other way to change from neg to pos; it’s normal flora for some women—but not me). The doc on call had no way of knowing whether it was my norm, and my doc didn’t put it together when she returned from vacay. It fell thru the cracks until my current gyne saw a pattern when reading my records during my first visit with him. He gently asked if infidelity was still part of my marital landscape.

So–ex let me suffer for a year. Then he exposed our unborn son to risk in utero and during delivery . I won’t go into my speculation about the loss of another vigorously healthy pregnancy as I moved into the second trimester; suffice it to say I now think it very likely STD was responsible.

All of these were pretty much minimized or covered up by doctors for years until my current one put it all together for me. I would have left far sooner had I known.

The absolutely worst thing she did was DECIDE to have affairs.

After that it was all simply salt in the wounds.

The absolutely worst thing she did was DECIDE to have affairs.

THIS. Just this; sums it up perfectly actually

Good one bigger. So true.

the absolute worst decision was to decide to have affairs

[This message edited by The1stWife at 4:15 AM, February 19th (Monday)]