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Newest Member: trustingyou

Wayward Side :
Admitting it vs. Getting it vs. Owning it vs. Living it

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RandomName ( new member #75313) posted at 6:04 PM on Monday, September 14th, 2020

Thank you for this. Kinda bouncing between 1,2

posts: 27   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2020
id 8587400
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AintGonnaLose ( member #72530) posted at 11:35 PM on Monday, September 14th, 2020

My WS has literally said

“I take responsibility for what I did! It’s not my fault you don’t want to let it go. I don’t deserve to have this brought up every day.”

“I owned the fact that I lied and I apologized. Now it’s on you to trust me.”

“Look, I get it, I understand how it must feel. It probably feels a lot Iike when you get dumped in high school.” (I shit you not.)

And my favorite:

“I know I hurt you, but I’m entitled to forgivenesses!!”

I think he’s the only person on the planet who can’t see how problematic to the point of ridiculousness those statements are.

[This message edited by AintGonnaLose at 5:37 PM, September 14th (Monday)]

BW 39
WH 45
D-day 1/20/2017
6-7 years of emotional disloyalty, 3 years of SA online behavior and A seeking. So far we suck at R.

—I consider it a challenge before the whole human race

posts: 70   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2020
id 8587536
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 11:57 PM on Monday, September 14th, 2020

Rad bump GMC. This is a good thread for BSs to understand the phases their WS is likely to go through. I think my WW is still "getting it", to some extent is trying to "fix it". She hasn't really owned it yet.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2116   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8587544
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EvolvingSoul ( member #29972) posted at 10:54 PM on Thursday, January 14th, 2021

Bumped for t999.

Me: WS (61)
Him: Shards (56)
D-day: June 6, 2010
Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010
NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2542   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8625313
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EvolvingSoul ( member #29972) posted at 7:43 PM on Wednesday, April 7th, 2021

Bumped for MyandI.

Me: WS (61)
Him: Shards (56)
D-day: June 6, 2010
Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010
NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2542   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8648674
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foreverlabeled ( member #52070) posted at 10:55 PM on Wednesday, June 23rd, 2021

Bump

posts: 2589   ·   registered: Mar. 1st, 2016   ·   location: southeast
id 8669226
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bonitabellows ( new member #77250) posted at 11:47 PM on Monday, June 28th, 2021

Thank you, DaddyDom. Very helpful post.

Me: BS 65 yrs old. SAWH is 61. Dday Dec 15 2020.

posts: 20   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2021   ·   location: CA
id 8670720
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SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 11:46 AM on Monday, October 18th, 2021

Bump

posts: 10009   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2002
id 8693787
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EvolvingSoul ( member #29972) posted at 2:18 AM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2022

Bumping this up for some of our newbies.

Me: WS (61)
Him: Shards (56)
D-day: June 6, 2010
Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010
NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2542   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8749830
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