Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
The Simplified 180

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Phoenix1 ( Moderator #38928) posted at 6:42 PM on Saturday, May 27th, 2017

Bump

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 8992   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 7875982
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:05 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2017

bumping

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7881236
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:12 PM on Thursday, June 8th, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 7886134
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:22 PM on Monday, June 19th, 2017

Again - this is so much better than the original 180, IMO

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 7895576
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Faith12345 ( Member #59277) posted at 10:37 PM on Monday, June 19th, 2017

I absolutely love this post.

I've been going through this for about 2 months

After doing a soft 180- husband came back & said he didn't want to lose me. Unfortunately I was SO desperate that I let him back in right away. I wanted him near me so I could sleep next to him at night.

That was wrong because he just ended up lying and he ended up leaving again because he was caught red handed. (He still lies about every single detail even though I have proof)

Now I've decided to do a hard 180 because I'm not quite ready to file divorce. I feel like it's just too much stress on me and I need to wait a little while. Until then, hard 180 will keep me from being manipulated by his lies. I plan to just basically fall off of the face of HIS earth. Bc being around him is toxic for me (arguing, lies, blame shifting, GAS LIGHTING)

I decided that I really have to let him go and say that I'm done and as far as I'm concerned we are over. He's made his decision based on his actions (living with OW.. although he lies about it)

& I have to make mine by removing myself from his life. From now on when he picks up our kid I might just say "hello" & not leave my front door. I usually walk her to the car & that is where the small talk begins. No more of that.

No more arguing or talking period.

posts: 77   ·   registered: Jun. 19th, 2017
id 7895978
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:08 PM on Friday, June 23rd, 2017

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7899476
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 8:01 PM on Monday, July 17th, 2017

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7921098
happy

MadOldBat ( Member #44146) posted at 10:28 AM on Tuesday, July 18th, 2017

Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.

posts: 3990   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2014   ·   location: In House Separation.
id 7921660
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Lovingmyselfmore ( Member #46119) posted at 8:12 PM on Saturday, August 5th, 2017

Bumping for the weekend!

dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again

posts: 1076   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7938256
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:24 PM on Friday, August 18th, 2017

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7950120
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Jen ( Member #26584) posted at 12:35 PM on Monday, August 21st, 2017

Me former Booger Bear ...
https://youtu.be/1TcLw3TOIN8
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
https://youtu.be/iFdOAyyn76M
Love Falls by HellYeah

posts: 19991   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Where's the fucking rainbow ???
id 7952281
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Jen ( Member #26584) posted at 11:09 PM on Sunday, September 17th, 2017

Me former Booger Bear ...
https://youtu.be/1TcLw3TOIN8
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
https://youtu.be/iFdOAyyn76M
Love Falls by HellYeah

posts: 19991   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Where's the fucking rainbow ???
id 7975318
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 7:31 AM on Friday, September 22nd, 2017

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 7979508
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Skan ( Member #35812) posted at 4:43 PM on Saturday, September 23rd, 2017

Bump

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 7980687
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MadOldBat ( Member #44146) posted at 11:41 AM on Saturday, October 7th, 2017

Just pushing this excellent post by Ser JR back up to the top.

I really think that this would be so helpful as part of the Healing Library.

Strength SI-friends

MOB

Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.

posts: 3990   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2014   ·   location: In House Separation.
id 7993345
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:56 PM on Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

Bumping - I think this is much clearer than the standard 180 document. We owe a lot to SerJr.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8007883
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 5:35 PM on Sunday, November 19th, 2017

and again....

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8027867
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 5:30 PM on Saturday, December 2nd, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8038311
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 8:53 PM on Thursday, December 7th, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8042238
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Phoenix1 ( Moderator #38928) posted at 1:57 AM on Monday, December 11th, 2017

Bump

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 8992   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8044330
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