Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Before You Say Reconcile...

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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 12:48 AM on Thursday, August 16th, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5974351
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 12:36 AM on Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 5991680
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scangel3 ( Member #36164) posted at 4:38 AM on Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

I really wish I had seen this and the 180 when I first found out about my wh affair, i wouldn't be where I am today. I may actually be happy and not trying to figure out what to do from here

BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

posts: 718   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2012   ·   location: Portland
id 5992031
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nowiknow23 ( Member #33226) posted at 2:51 PM on Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

Bumping for a member.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6015376
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 3:37 PM on Friday, September 14th, 2012

Bump

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6018883
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fourever ( Member #30631) posted at 5:32 PM on Monday, September 17th, 2012

Monday bump

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

posts: 917   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Northeast
id 6021848
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( Member #18449) posted at 9:33 PM on Saturday, September 29th, 2012

bump

posts: 12215   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6039963
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kernel ( Member #27035) posted at 2:14 AM on Monday, October 8th, 2012

bump

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6051443
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( Member #18449) posted at 9:09 PM on Saturday, October 13th, 2012

weekend bump.

posts: 12215   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6059807
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:07 PM on Monday, October 22nd, 2012

Bump for Newbies

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6071132
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StillGoing ( Member #28571) posted at 7:00 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2012

HAIL AND WELL MET

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7854   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6104595
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atsenaotie ( Member #27650) posted at 7:23 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2012

This is the first I have seen this post, and I must say great job Fighting2Survive. I can now see why FWW is STBXW. She scored 25% (1 out of 4) on the Reconcilation table, and only 10% (1 out of 10) on the Remorse list. No wonder I have detached and given up.

LTA FBS
dday 10.5.09
Divorced

posts: 4173   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2010   ·   location: FL
id 6104627
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follyandsuch ( New Member #37512) posted at 8:39 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2012

I am grateful I have found this.

I'm so sick of my ex-fi just wanting to tell me to put it in the past. "I said I'm sorry, what else can I do," and "it's up to you." I realize he'd rather rugsweep than reconcile after reading this.

I'm so glad I found this site.

posts: 38   ·   registered: Nov. 15th, 2012
id 6104754
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allhopegone ( Member #37465) posted at 4:17 PM on Saturday, November 17th, 2012

Thanks for putting up all the links to great info in one place

posts: 91   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012
id 6105771
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Skan ( Member #35812) posted at 5:24 PM on Saturday, December 8th, 2012

Bumping to first page for weekend posters.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6133086
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:31 PM on Monday, December 10th, 2012

bumpin'

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6135118
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Jrazz ( Member #31349) posted at 4:21 AM on Friday, December 14th, 2012

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6140041
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jjct ( Member #17484) posted at 12:01 AM on Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

Bump!

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6145722
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kernel ( Member #27035) posted at 5:23 AM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2012

bump

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6149934
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:34 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2012

Bump

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6151990
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