Newest Member: Hurt2016

Just Found Out :
Before You Say Reconcile...

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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 3:56 AM on Monday, April 9th, 2012

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5781889
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SuperDuperWonderboy ( Member #34716) posted at 7:07 PM on Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

posts: 1356   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Everett
id 5784462
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 3:15 PM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5785814
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DixieDiamondfly ( Member #34830) posted at 4:25 AM on Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Thank you for this post. My Dday was Feb 8th and the day I confronted him (I call it "fan" day for "stuff hits the fan") was Feb 24th. He has apologized and says it is in no way my fault and has said he would do anything I want him to do. He has done the few things that I have asked. When I ask him questions he answers them...but how do I know that he is answering honestly and completely? Honestly, I'm feeling the red flags again...and I've learned to go with my gut.

BS: Me, 56 yrs. young
XWS: Him, 60 yo
KIDS: 33 yo son, 31 yo son, 25 yo daughter...and three wonderful grandsons and a beautiful granddaughter.
Married 34 yrs.
D-Day #1: 2/8/12
D-Day #2: 7/16/2012
D-Day #3: 3/29/2015
Divorced!

posts: 182   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Gulf Coast
id 5787087
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 2:17 PM on Sunday, April 15th, 2012

bump

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5792072
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AttemptStrength ( Member #27947) posted at 2:38 PM on Friday, April 20th, 2012

bump

BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.

posts: 1992   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2010   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 5800846
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windows ( Member #14054) posted at 1:05 AM on Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

bump for a friend

posts: 445   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2007
id 5807294
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 1:31 PM on Friday, April 27th, 2012

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5811589
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 9:00 PM on Thursday, May 10th, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5830733
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 9:35 PM on Friday, May 11th, 2012

Bump.

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5832461
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SisterMilkshake ( Member #30024) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, May 17th, 2012

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5840359
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Outdoornut1 ( Member #35446) posted at 6:36 PM on Thursday, May 17th, 2012

Thanks for the bump!

Me-BS
Wife-WS
D-day- 1/17/2012
2 Beautiful Girls
Future- unknown
"You are 50% responsible for the problems before the affair..WS is 100% responsible for choosing to cheat." Confused615

posts: 161   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2012   ·   location: Northern NY
id 5840476
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Downrightpissed ( New Member #35347) posted at 6:44 PM on Thursday, May 17th, 2012

So glad this was bumped..I would of never saw it. Here's a question...my spouse has done everything in the first column aside from actually backing his words with actions. He is transparent, hads had NC, and says he is sorry and it will never happen again..he is mindful of my triggers and answers any and all questions I have...but...he doesn't go above and beyond to show that he still wants me. I get I love you's but honestly that means little anymore. I cannot look at him and say I love him as much as I did before the A. Is this me blocking the R? If he is doing everything else right should I be expecting more remorseful actions??

Me. BS. 40
WH - 41 PA 4 years
DDAY 12/7/11
Married 16 years
3 kids, 15,12 and 9
Currently trying to R

posts: 42   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Michigan
id 5840484
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 3:01 AM on Sunday, May 20th, 2012

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5843739
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chloecat1 ( Member #35585) posted at 3:07 PM on Sunday, May 20th, 2012

Definitely a rug-sweeper here. POS WH shows no remorse what-so-ever. Unless HE does a drastic 180 on his actions as well, there will be no reconciliation here. I failed miserably at the 180 yesterday when he was in town. He's not around enough to even see me 180 anyway. Doesn't call. Just goes on with his merry life with the OW.

Him:WH-51, Me:BS-47
DD-21 DS-18
Married 27 years, together 30
Divorced May 2013~FINALLY!
1st A: 19 yrs ago, but dday not until 7/12/08
2nd Dday- 10/3/11, separated since then.
3rd DDay- 8/10/12 Admitted to other ONS and PAs.
Suing WH for di

posts: 233   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012
id 5844026
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, May 24th, 2012

Bump!

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5849947
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Edie ( Member #26133) posted at 8:55 PM on Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

bump.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 5858212
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 Fighting2Survive (original poster Member #28410) posted at 9:14 PM on Friday, June 8th, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5873609
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woundedby2 ( Member #18522) posted at 2:28 AM on Thursday, June 14th, 2012

bump

In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

posts: 8027   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2008   ·   location: SoCal
id 5881356
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:05 PM on Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5889176
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