Newest Member: Hurt2016

Just Found Out :
Boundaries and Consequences 101 for all new BS

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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 3:34 PM on Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 25988   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 7383262
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Jpapageorge ( Member #31800) posted at 10:03 AM on Saturday, November 7th, 2015

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7390821
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 3:49 PM on Saturday, December 5th, 2015

Bump. Essential reading for BS & WS.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 25988   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 7412926
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 2:30 AM on Wednesday, December 9th, 2015

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7415755
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devotedman ( Member #45441) posted at 4:35 PM on Friday, December 25th, 2015

bumping

Me: 2xBS b 1962
xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.

posts: 5088   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2014   ·   location: Central USA
id 7430663
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:14 AM on Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7452676
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 11:23 PM on Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7460541
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 1:58 AM on Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7467467
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thisissogross ( Member #30294) posted at 3:27 AM on Friday, February 5th, 2016

Bump



i edit frequently because i have to

posts: 364   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: southern us
id 7469427
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 8:47 PM on Wednesday, February 17th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7481755
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, March 21st, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7508552
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 2:33 PM on Sunday, April 3rd, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7519771
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fighter352 ( Member #51613) posted at 8:49 PM on Monday, April 4th, 2016

You are amazing! This post is PROFOUND!

So on the market here.

I am setting my boundaries up now at 3 months post D-day. The information you shared reinforces my own newly discovered insights...I realize I am healing!!!!

Tearing up posting this as its sinking in...thank you!

"...Keep Holding your ridge."

posts: 87   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2016   ·   location: California
id 7520794
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 1:44 PM on Tuesday, April 5th, 2016

Thanks Fighter.

For those of us that have spent our lives co-dependent to our spouses this is essential. Declare your value. Draw boundaries, Hold them. EXPECT more.

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 7521305
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 5:59 PM on Sunday, April 10th, 2016

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 25988   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 7525513
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Lovingmyselfmore ( Member #46119) posted at 12:15 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2016

bumping

dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again

posts: 1076   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7536606
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 6:57 PM on Tuesday, April 26th, 2016

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7539560
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 3:27 AM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7545469
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mchercheur ( Member #37735) posted at 10:40 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2016

BUMP

Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011
Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids together
OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids
Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7548368
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 3:04 AM on Thursday, May 12th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7554250
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