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Newest Member: Jesse123

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know


SandAway ( member #37775) posted at 8:27 PM on Wednesday, April 8th, 2015


BH Tred
M 19yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people

posts: 451   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012
id 7179864

Macsecond ( member #43972) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, April 21st, 2015


Me - WW (42)
Him - BH (40)
Married 18 years.
2 amazing daughters (DD10 and DD6)
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)

posts: 815   ·   registered: Jul. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7194272

sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 4:44 PM on Thursday, April 30th, 2015


Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts

posts: 2425   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2014   ·   location: midwest
id 7205449

deephurt ( member #48243) posted at 7:51 PM on Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

This needs to stay at the top as often as possible for new BS and WS. This is so well written and really understands how BS's are feeling and what we need.


so far successfully in R

posts: 3775   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 7263856

Hope2behealed ( new member #48436) posted at 3:32 PM on Monday, July 6th, 2015

Thank you for reposting this as I might have not come across it until much later. Although as I read it, tears flowed down my cheeks (sure, what's new?), it put all of what I have been feeling and going through into tangible words. It even brought to light some things I was not comprehending as I was experiencing them. It breaks my heart, gives me hope and makes me want more than anything for my WH to take these words to heart, really embrace them and begin to live by them. As we all know, this road of R can only be traveled by two. Otherwise, the fork will be reached.

I emailed this to my WH. I hope he read it. I hope it helps us.

Oh how I hope upon hope.

The cruelest lies are often told in silence.

— Robert Louis Stevenson

posts: 31   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2015
id 7274375

1985 ( member #28171) posted at 1:20 PM on Tuesday, August 18th, 2015

Bump for Walloped

Me-BH now 70
Her-fWW now 69 Still beautiful to me
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 5 grandkids

posts: 792   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest - large city
id 7318082

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

Bump for all the Newbies!

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 7359966

Macsecond ( member #43972) posted at 10:27 PM on Wednesday, November 25th, 2015


Me - WW (42)
Him - BH (40)
Married 18 years.
2 amazing daughters (DD10 and DD6)
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)

posts: 815   ·   registered: Jul. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7405703

tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 10:06 PM on Thursday, December 17th, 2015


Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB

posts: 7444   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2010   ·   location: Inside my head
id 7424400

thisissogross ( member #30294) posted at 3:34 AM on Sunday, January 10th, 2016


i edit frequently because i have to

posts: 377   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: southern us
id 7444483

survivor11 ( member #50713) posted at 10:49 PM on Sunday, January 10th, 2016

This is the best post, expresses exactly what I am going through as a BS. I am printing this for my WH to read and digest.

posts: 60   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2015
id 7445003

Tecuacuicani ( member #51032) posted at 7:27 PM on Tuesday, January 12th, 2016


FBgf, FOgf(EA)
"We carry on our backs the burden time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
Is the bitter taste of losing everything I held so dear." Sarah McLachlan

posts: 127   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2015   ·   location: Chicomoztoc
id 7446843

ruralnurse ( new member #51308) posted at 2:32 PM on Thursday, January 14th, 2016

My first post. I've lurked for awhile. 6 months since my D-day. He's done pretty much everything mentioned above and I still struggle everyday with staying with him. He knows this and he's frightened, as am I. Will I be one of those BS who can't get over it? I don't know what else he could possibly do to convince me this is where he wants to be. The question is, is it where I want to be? Told my therapist I would give it a year.

bs: me 59
ws: 59
M: 31 yrs. together 35
C: Son grown
DD: 7/9/2015
Trying R.

Most of out hurts come through relationships so will our healing. Grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.

In the real dark night of the sou

posts: 27   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2016   ·   location: PA
id 7448535

Ascendant ( member #38303) posted at 12:00 AM on Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

Bump by request.

posts: 5193   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2013   ·   location: North of Chicago, Illinois
id 7472545

thisissogross ( member #30294) posted at 7:06 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2016


i edit frequently because i have to

posts: 377   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: southern us
id 7492789

c1own74 ( new member #52129) posted at 4:34 AM on Sunday, March 6th, 2016

Thank you so much for posting this. I'm new to this forum and am working alone right now to reconcile my marriage. Some of this is applicable to my situation.

Me: WW: 41
Him: BH:42
2 children: 12 & 7
Separated since 9/2015
One sided reconciliation effort :/

posts: 1   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2016
id 7496749

iamamoron ( new member #52052) posted at 9:08 PM on Monday, March 7th, 2016

I appreciate this so much. I am the WS and I am committed to everything on here. Thank you.

posts: 6   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2016
id 7497885

MessedUpAndDown ( member #24367) posted at 6:43 AM on Saturday, June 25th, 2016


Me: BH
Her: WW
Married: 16 years
DDay: 12-12-08 ~ S: 8-1-10
"If at first you don't succeed, try try again. Then give up. There's no sense in being a damn fool about it." - W.C. Fields

posts: 164   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2009
id 7590918

Semaj ( member #31886) posted at 8:09 PM on Thursday, July 14th, 2016


posts: 86   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2011
id 7607343

oldtimer97 ( member #2365) posted at 2:32 AM on Friday, August 5th, 2016


“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou

To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.

posts: 3420   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2003   ·   location: Sunny Arizona
id 7625494
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