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Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know

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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 2:03 AM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2018

Bumped for Odyssean.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8085270
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2018

Bumped for worstwifey7.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8093057
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 3:24 AM on Monday, February 19th, 2018

Bumped for BJC1987

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8098232
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 5:36 AM on Wednesday, February 21st, 2018

Bumped for SorryWife4life.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8100117
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 1:51 AM on Saturday, February 24th, 2018

Bumped for YNWA72.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8102571
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 12:15 AM on Sunday, March 4th, 2018

Bumped for Bdot.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8108208
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 2:50 AM on Thursday, March 8th, 2018

Bumped for iamthekiller.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8110979
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 12:49 AM on Friday, March 9th, 2018

Bumped for theterrible92.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8111715
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 5:15 AM on Sunday, March 11th, 2018

Bumped for HolyBasil.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8113093
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 1:09 AM on Tuesday, March 13th, 2018

Bumped for Scatty.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8114352
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ASoCalledLife ( member #59641) posted at 2:56 PM on Wednesday, March 28th, 2018

Bumped for new WSs to review.

Thankfully, hubby and I are in R. Joined SI in 2017 and left this site per DH’s request in mid-May 2018; be blessed everyone!
-Mrs. Life

posts: 392   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2017
id 8126007
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018

Bumped for Sendhelpchicago.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8130282
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 2:06 AM on Thursday, April 5th, 2018

Bumped for Fallnicntgetup.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8132177
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 3:30 AM on Saturday, April 21st, 2018

Bumped for the general good of the world.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8146682
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AnotherIdiot ( member #55384) posted at 7:56 AM on Sunday, April 22nd, 2018

Excellent advice when you notice the BS is unhappy, quiet, perplexed or has that angry look.

HERE’S A GREAT TIP: You will find it’s particularly meaningful to them when they’re obviously feeling low, but they’re locked in silence and aren’t expressing it to you. Just imagine… In their moments of unspoken loneliness or despair, you walk up to them, hug them and say, “I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’re giving me a second chance. Thank you so much. I love you more than ever for this. I’ve been feeling so ashamed of what I did and how much pain I caused you. I want you to know that I’ll never do anything to hurt you like this – ever again. I know I broke your heart and it torments me. I want you to know your heart is safe with me again.”

These are beautifully comforting words, particularly when they’re delivered at such a perfect

moment. You can memorize the quote, modify it, or use your own words, whatever is most

comfortable for you. The key is to include, in no particular order, all six of these components:

A statement of gratitude.

An expression of your love.

An acknowledgment of your spouse’s pain.

An admission that you caused their pain.

Do the above almost daily can really help. It also forces the offender (me) to re-focus outward, from my own personal issues (negative traits, illness), to the violated party.

Empathy training it could be called. Something I lack.

Thanks

posts: 130   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2016   ·   location: does not matter
id 8147333
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 5:46 AM on Wednesday, April 25th, 2018

Bumped for Barregirl

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8149490
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irwinr89 ( member #42457) posted at 11:15 PM on Wednesday, April 25th, 2018

My XWW said this and cheated again two years later.... Is actions that matter, not words

posts: 55   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2014   ·   location: Miami
id 8150154
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 5:08 AM on Thursday, April 26th, 2018

Bumped for Beyawnedremorse.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8150382
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2timesunfaithful ( member #47670) posted at 2:28 AM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Bumped for lordtennyson74

Me: WH 55 I lied to cover up my deceit.
Her: BW 40's at D-day [BlueIris]
M 22 years | 3 great kids

"A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. - Shakespeare

posts: 290   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2015
id 8153297
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 5:04 AM on Tuesday, May 1st, 2018

Bumped for Better2morrow.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8154264
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