Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Tactical Primer

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punky ( Member #12233) posted at 7:57 PM on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Great. I always feel so bad that I can't touch base with with all the new people all the time--there are just too many (sad, huh??)--but this is a fantastic first read for anyone in this situation

13 years later...finally healed. Definitely survived and thrived and you can, too.

posts: 11326   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2006   ·   location: A whole 'nother country
id 3051369
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 SerJR (original poster Member #14993) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

posts: 18506   ·   registered: Jun. 15th, 2007   ·   location: Further North than South
id 3072997
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hurtshirley ( Member #16197) posted at 3:03 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Great post.

"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

posts: 2170   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2007
id 3074462
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heartbroken30 ( Member #18437) posted at 4:11 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Great job!

Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

posts: 1846   ·   registered: Mar. 1st, 2008   ·   location: NY
id 3074678
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EyesOpened ( Member #19777) posted at 8:47 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Thanx... very helpful. A must read.

An angel is someone you feel like you've known forever
even though you've just met.

posts: 67   ·   registered: Jun. 5th, 2008
id 3077001
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Piper317 ( Member #15330) posted at 3:25 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2008

So well written! Nice job. I vote for this to go into the Healing library....just sayin.....

Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

posts: 1476   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2007   ·   location: New York
id 3078166
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buster ( Member #16571) posted at 7:46 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2008

WOW. what a great, great post.

In R

Las cosas no son como las vemos sino como las recordamos

posts: 113   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2007   ·   location: Mexico
id 3080030
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notworthless ( Member #18943) posted at 1:49 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2008

Terrific post

I will survive....

posts: 1154   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2008
id 3081108
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aesir ( Member #17210) posted at 11:27 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2008

Bumping for newbies as it slips off the front page.

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

posts: 14924   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2007   ·   location: Winnipeg
id 3082865
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burnt_toast ( Member #16891) posted at 12:17 AM on Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Just caught this. I'll be a proud bumper for it.

I may have not gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams

posts: 4996   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2007
id 3082920
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s.squirrel ( Member #14742) posted at 1:35 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2008

bumping up another great post.

Me BS 44
Him WS 45
sons :17, 16
daughter: 13
dday1: 6/1996..separated 1.5yr, then reconciled 1/1998
dday2: 5/7/2007
Separated at last!~10/31/2008
heading -->divorce
But he lost his job in April..so pending, pending, pending.

posts: 280   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2007   ·   location: ohio
id 3083792
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Clangirl ( Member #19433) posted at 8:56 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Thanks for much for this. I`m one year on from exposing WS`s affair but he still works with the OW and living with him has been an emotional rollercoaster for the past year.

Learning a lot from SI though. Was pointed in the direction of this thread just today and am so glad!

Thank you!

Clangirl

posts: 66   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2008
id 3084367
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cjonesjag ( Member #10617) posted at 3:35 AM on Monday, June 9th, 2008

< bump > for new friends

Me (BS):50
Him(WTFH):51 Married: 05/26/2002
DD#1: 09/2005 (EA) DD#2: 09/2006
Mini-DDays: Many. Mostly online
DIVORCED 10/20/10
It's not what you've got, it's what you give.
It ain't the life you choose, it's the life you live

posts: 6405   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2006   ·   location: Michigan
id 3084976
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Dagny07 ( Member #16928) posted at 5:13 AM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Bump !

Me:BW Him: FWH E/A
M: 30 years, together 37 : both guilty of PAs 20+ years ago
CDay#1 Oct 06 (false); DDay#2 Oct 07 (truth from OW's BH)
R: Tenaciously optimistic

posts: 862   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2007   ·   location: Midwest
id 3087878
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UKgirl ( Member #17062) posted at 2:11 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Yet another one from SerJR.

Yet again, I wish I had found this place earlier.

Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.
Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boys
Having an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom

posts: 4033   ·   registered: Nov. 17th, 2007   ·   location: UK
id 3088319
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Crushed1 ( Member #6449) posted at 6:34 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Fabulous post SerJR!!! I just wish I'd have had this when I first started down this road, completely lost and shattered. You're WORD!!!!

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

posts: 10024   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2005   ·   location: Texas
id 3089095
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pandorasbox ( New Member #19648) posted at 6:41 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Thanks so much for steering me here! What great words or advice & wisdom!

BS (Me) - 38
WS (Him) - 43
2 DD ages 10 & 5
Married 2 1/2 yrs., Together 10
11/19/07 - "I just don't love you anymore. I want a divorce."
12/21/07 - DDay confirming OW
Working on R

posts: 8   ·   registered: May. 23rd, 2008
id 3094710
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ImGonnaMakeIt ( Member #18277) posted at 3:10 AM on Friday, June 13th, 2008

This is perfect, and just the reminder I needed to remain focused.

I use to think my self-respect was being prideful. This reminds me, it isn't, it is a necessity!

Thanks SerJR

BSO - 35

Together 5 yrs.
D-Day 1/6/12
Reconciling.
OC Born 11/2012
DD born 01/2014
I still love him but what I miss the most is the peace I felt loving him without the fear.

posts: 2201   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2008   ·   location: AZ
id 3096002
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toonice ( Member #19862) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, June 13th, 2008

Had I known all this, 9 years ago, hell, 13 years ago, things would have been very different.

There is so much anger and resentment built up now - I don't know if there will be a reconciliation.

Stronger than reason, stronger than lies, the only truth I know, is the look in your eyes.
BH(42) FWW(41; 8+ OM/OW, 5 year LTA)
M: 16yrs, 2 kids DS16, DD13. d-day 6/17/2008 (after 9 months of MC+gaslighting).

posts: 4898   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2008   ·   location: CA
id 3096261
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socold ( Member #17400) posted at 7:03 PM on Friday, June 13th, 2008

Needs to be on pg1.

(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010

posts: 2587   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2007   ·   location: in a van down by the river
id 3097457
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