punky ( member #12233) posted at 7:57 PM on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
Great. I always feel so bad that I can't touch base with with all the new people all the time--there are just too many (sad, huh??)--but this is a fantastic first read for anyone in this situation
13 years later...finally healed. Definitely survived and thrived and you can, too.
SerJR (original poster member #14993) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
hurtshirley ( member #16197) posted at 3:03 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2008
"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu
heartbroken30 ( member #18437) posted at 4:11 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2008
Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
EyesOpened ( member #19777) posted at 8:47 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2008
Thanx... very helpful. A must read.
An angel is someone you feel like you've known forever
even though you've just met.
Piper317 ( member #15330) posted at 3:25 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2008
So well written! Nice job. I vote for this to go into the Healing library....just sayin.....
Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard
buster ( member #16571) posted at 7:46 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2008
WOW. what a great, great post.
Las cosas no son como las vemos sino como las recordamos
notworthless ( member #18943) posted at 1:49 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2008
aesir ( member #17210) posted at 11:27 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2008
Bumping for newbies as it slips off the front page.
Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.
Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
burnt_toast ( member #16891) posted at 12:17 AM on Sunday, June 8th, 2008
Just caught this. I'll be a proud bumper for it.
I may have not gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams
s.squirrel ( member #14742) posted at 1:35 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2008
bumping up another great post.
Me BS 44
Him WS 45
sons :17, 16
dday1: 6/1996..separated 1.5yr, then reconciled 1/1998
Separated at last!~10/31/2008
But he lost his job in April..so pending, pending, pending.
Clangirl ( member #19433) posted at 8:56 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2008
Thanks for much for this. I`m one year on from exposing WS`s affair but he still works with the OW and living with him has been an emotional rollercoaster for the past year.
Learning a lot from SI though. Was pointed in the direction of this thread just today and am so glad!
cjonesjag ( member #10617) posted at 3:35 AM on Monday, June 9th, 2008
Him(WTFH):51 Married: 05/26/2002
DD#1: 09/2005 (EA) DD#2: 09/2006
Mini-DDays: Many. Mostly online
It's not what you've got, it's what you give.
It ain't the life you choose, it's the life you live
Dagny07 ( member #16928) posted at 5:13 AM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
Me:BW Him: FWH E/A
M: 30 years, together 37 : both guilty of PAs 20+ years ago
CDay#1 Oct 06 (false); DDay#2 Oct 07 (truth from OW's BH)
R: Tenaciously optimistic
UKgirl ( member #17062) posted at 2:11 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
Yet another one from SerJR.
Yet again, I wish I had found this place earlier.
Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.
Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boys
Having an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom
Crushed1 ( member #6449) posted at 6:34 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
Fabulous post SerJR!!! I just wish I'd have had this when I first started down this road, completely lost and shattered. You're WORD!!!!
~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
pandorasbox ( new member #19648) posted at 6:41 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2008
Thanks so much for steering me here! What great words or advice & wisdom!
BS (Me) - 38
WS (Him) - 43
2 DD ages 10 & 5
Married 2 1/2 yrs., Together 10
11/19/07 - "I just don't love you anymore. I want a divorce."
12/21/07 - DDay confirming OW
Working on R
ImGonnaMakeIt ( member #18277) posted at 3:10 AM on Friday, June 13th, 2008
This is perfect, and just the reminder I needed to remain focused.
I use to think my self-respect was being prideful. This reminds me, it isn't, it is a necessity!
BSO - 35
Together 5 yrs.
OC Born 11/2012
DD born 01/2014
I still love him but what I miss the most is the peace I felt loving him without the fear.
toonice ( member #19862) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, June 13th, 2008
Had I known all this, 9 years ago, hell, 13 years ago, things would have been very different.
There is so much anger and resentment built up now - I don't know if there will be a reconciliation.
Stronger than reason, stronger than lies, the only truth I know, is the look in your eyes.
BH(42) FWW(41; 8+ OM/OW, 5 year LTA)
M: 16yrs, 2 kids DS16, DD13. d-day 6/17/2008 (after 9 months of MC+gaslighting).
socold ( member #17400) posted at 7:03 PM on Friday, June 13th, 2008
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010