Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Just Found Out :
Tactical Primer

default

mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 3:38 PM on Monday, May 26th, 2014

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6812799
default

needfriendshere ( member #43350) posted at 7:25 PM on Monday, May 26th, 2014

This is wonderful. It's like you have taken the best out of every book on the subject and summarized it for us all. Had I read this before going shopping, I could have saved a lot of money. You hit every main point right on the head. Thank you so much! For anyone who is just tuning in to this site, what Tactical Primer has provided here is priceless!

Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 6812981
default

lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 4:44 PM on Friday, May 30th, 2014

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6817914
default

Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 7:51 AM on Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Bump for Detached

Me: BS, 40's.

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: West Coast
id 6820493
default

annb ( member #22386) posted at 10:33 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2014

bump

posts: 11258   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 6829152
default

norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:09 PM on Tuesday, June 17th, 2014

bump

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6838704
default

yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:33 PM on Thursday, June 19th, 2014

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4517   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6841936
default

brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 2:51 AM on Monday, July 14th, 2014

bump

Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

posts: 2093   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2010   ·   location: Northwesten US
id 6871121
default

mamajen00 ( member #43810) posted at 5:20 AM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

I wish I had seen this post three months ago when I first showed up here. Such good information!

BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA

posts: 58   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2014
id 6872429
default

littleflower ( member #42673) posted at 8:16 PM on Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Bump

DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW - what a cow
3 kids under 4

posts: 101   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2014
id 6886866
default

Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 4:06 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6895745
default

jjct ( member #17484) posted at 1:57 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2014

BUMP!

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6903663
default

steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:03 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2014

I so wish I had found this back just after Christmas, 2002. Of course it wasn't written then. I wish I had found SI back then. Instead I found some sites that did me more harm than good.

I wonder, painfully, what my life would have been like if I hadn't done everything wrong. Now, instead of trying to heal after stopping my WW short - shock and awe, I am trying to heal after a DDay 1 on September 1, 2013 almost 11 after I became convinced (almost) my WW was committing adultery. I never caught them (almost did a few times) and I could never prove it and WW lied vigorously, continuously, frequently and effectively for all those years.

How different my life might be if I would have had the advice beginning this thread instead of the advice I got and if I would have hired a PI. If I was doing this at 51 instead of at 63.

I have been on SI lurking before registering at the end of February. I just read this primer this morning. It is so valuable but just too late for me.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4662   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 6904012
default

shiftingsand ( member #43656) posted at 1:18 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014

top of the list

"This wasn't about you. Or your looks. Or hers. There was no contest and she did not "win." He's just insecure or an asshole or an insecure asshole." Plan C.

posts: 234   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2014   ·   location: Maryland
id 6913886
default

Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:22 AM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Bump

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6919482
default

trying22 ( member #44592) posted at 8:21 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Great!

posts: 77   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2014
id 6920285
default

jjct ( member #17484) posted at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Bump

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6925640
default

UpInTheAirNow ( member #37777) posted at 4:42 PM on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Bump.

ME 47
WW 52
DDay 6/13/12
Separated 3/13 and NC for my own sanity.
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.

posts: 339   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012   ·   location: NY
id 6932996
default

Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 11:35 PM on Friday, September 5th, 2014

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6936059
default

yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 9:30 PM on Monday, September 8th, 2014

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4517   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6939054
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20210924 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy