Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Wayward Side :
Maia's Withdrawal Survival Guide (repost for newbies)

Topic is Sleeping.
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 12:32 AM on Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Bumped for antelope.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8081883
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 7:39 AM on Monday, February 12th, 2018

Bumped for StoneLotus.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8092304
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 1:09 AM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2018

Bumped for worstwifey7.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8093055
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Lucky77 ( member #61337) posted at 4:37 PM on Tuesday, February 20th, 2018

Bump for RJN0917

WS
1 year PA/ 2 Yr EA
Oh the depths of the betrayal

posts: 331   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2017
id 8099387
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 10:58 PM on Thursday, March 1st, 2018

Bumped for ConstantLearner.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8106716
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 11:34 PM on Friday, March 2nd, 2018

Bumped for Badgergirl.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8107691
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 1:10 AM on Tuesday, March 13th, 2018

Bumped for Scatty.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8114353
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 7:48 PM on Friday, March 23rd, 2018

Celebrating 15 year wedding anniversary soon. And grand baby number 3 on the way. Never happier. Hugs to all.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 8122622
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Krystlebefore ( member #56351) posted at 11:25 PM on Sunday, March 25th, 2018

Bumped for mcmc2

I reside on the wayward side of the street....

posts: 202   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2016
id 8123958
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ASoCalledLife ( member #59641) posted at 2:53 PM on Wednesday, March 28th, 2018

Bumped for little mermaid 6.

Thankfully, hubby and I are in R. Joined SI in 2017 and left this site per DH’s request in mid-May 2018; be blessed everyone!
-Mrs. Life

posts: 392   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2017
id 8126000
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hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 6:11 PM on Monday, April 9th, 2018

Bumped for doglover

WW/BW BH/WH Turnthepage My Affair DDAY 9/1/2017- 2 month EA/PAHis Affair DDAY 10/10/2020 - 18 month A - EA?/PA

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   ·   location: Arizona
id 8136517
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Bella5 ( new member #63370) posted at 6:18 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

👍

"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger"

posts: 16   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2018   ·   location: Heart Break Boulevard
id 8140534
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Krystlebefore ( member #56351) posted at 9:16 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Bumped for lord tennyson

I reside on the wayward side of the street....

posts: 202   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2016
id 8153898
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 4:41 PM on Tuesday, May 8th, 2018

bump.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 8159753
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harrybrown ( member #59225) posted at 6:17 PM on Tuesday, May 8th, 2018

I am curious.

you talk about forgiveness from the OM and forgiving your H.

Your H is an afterthought in most of the postings that I read.

when is there remorse for the pain of your H?

posts: 1060   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2017   ·   location: deep painful dark hole
id 8159853
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 3:54 AM on Monday, May 28th, 2018

Hi Harry.

First off take a look at my member number. I wrote this in 2005 and am over 13 years out from dday with a successful R

So this was written very much when I was trying actively to come out of the fog. I was very possibly at my most selfish at this point in my life. But I could not handle him. I could barely handle me then. This isn't to say that I didn't love him. Indeed I did in my own twisted sense. I was broken and pieces of me loved him. Pieces didn't. And empathy with his pain couldn't be my focus till I fixed me. It was a bit like putting on the oxygen mask on a flight before aiding another. I could best help him by fixing me because that's what I could control. When I did dwell on his feelings it was devastating. Because I'd gutted him and I knew it. Make no mistake. I will never diminish that.

But that's not the purpose of this post. The purpose here was to walk out of madness.i bump and revisit it because it worked. And .might help others.

[This message edited by Maia at 9:57 PM, May 27th (Sunday)]

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 8174032
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 4:04 AM on Monday, May 28th, 2018

"And empathy with his pain couldn't be my focus till I fixed me. It was a bit like putting on the oxygen mask on a flight before aiding another. "

This explains why my own R was so unsuccessful. He made a good show for 6 months. Then my pain was brushed aside as he became focused on himself, again (and not in the healing sense...in the entitlement sense.)

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4364   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8174040
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 4:10 AM on Monday, May 28th, 2018

I'm sorry it was like that for you whothebleep. Really am. Hugs

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 8174043
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 10:56 PM on Tuesday, June 5th, 2018

Bumped for those struggling with NC.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8180282
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EvolvingSoul ( Guide #29972) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

Bumped for Doglover84.

Me: WS (60)Him: Shards (55)D-day: June 6, 2010Last voluntary AP contact: June 23, 2010NC Letter sent: 3/9/11

We’re going to make it.

posts: 2531   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010   ·   location: The far shore.
id 8186062
Topic is Sleeping.
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