Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Wayward Side :
Maia's Withdrawal Survival Guide (repost for newbies)

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 7:01 AM on Monday, August 29th, 2016

Don't give up. I hug my grandchildren now years later. It can be okay. Hang in. Hugs.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7646765
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AMaeMOBluesawyer ( member #54932) posted at 7:29 PM on Thursday, September 1st, 2016

Great read, Maia. Thanks for all the stories, motivation, prayers, insight, everything. Love your writing style.

I'm still working through my withdrawal (after 4.5 years) but had a great breakthrough a couple of months ago. Now just working on reconnecting with my SO. It's amazing how much coming here and reading and just a few posts have helped me already.

Just keep swimming,

AMae

[This message edited by AMaeMOBluesawyer at 5:05 PM, September 1st (Thursday)]

Call me AMae.
Me, 50: MH; 1st as BS; dd1 3/06 LTA, dd2 5/09 EA; then as WW 3 mo PA confessed 10/10
Him, 50: WS - EA/PA/LTA from 12/03-5/09
Together 25y (M 17) before I left 01/11
2Dsons: 11/03, 01/05

posts: 93   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016   ·   location: Gulf Coast
id 7650187
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Skibunny ( member #52590) posted at 9:51 AM on Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

Bump.

Needed a re-read of this so thought I'd get it back on the front page too.

Me: WW, 31, FOO issues, post natal depression, in IC
Him: BH, 31
Met 2004
Married 2011
EA/PA with COW 2015
DD Feb 2016

posts: 82   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2016   ·   location: UK
id 7654286
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 11:15 AM on Monday, October 3rd, 2016

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7676370
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lostbutnotgone ( member #55130) posted at 12:44 PM on Monday, October 3rd, 2016

Needed this today, thanks for the bump.

Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.-Julien Smith

posts: 75   ·   registered: Sep. 13th, 2016
id 7676411
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 6:17 PM on Monday, October 10th, 2016

keep posting how you're doing, lost.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7681738
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lostbutnotgone ( member #55130) posted at 9:16 PM on Monday, October 10th, 2016

Thanks, I will. I have really awful moments in each day, but there are good moments in each day too. Sometimes I have so much going on in my head that it's hard to get a clear picture of what's going on. I have been journaling for about a week now and going to IC for nearly 6 weeks now. TT has occurred and I'm working to be completely transparent with my partner. I've been too focused on safeguarding my own emotions and not with protecting and healing my BS's emotions. Your guides truly are helpful. When I weak moments, I continue to look at them. Tonight, I'm also picking up Sue Monk's book you recommended to me last week.

Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.-Julien Smith

posts: 75   ·   registered: Sep. 13th, 2016
id 7681848
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 12:17 AM on Tuesday, October 11th, 2016

ahhhhh thats a great book. it isn't a quick read, its a thoughtful read. But very good. Let me know what you think!!

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7681970
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 6:06 PM on Friday, October 28th, 2016

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7695470
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 5:40 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2016

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7700897
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lostbutnotgone ( member #55130) posted at 8:18 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2016

Thanks for the bump, Maia.

Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.-Julien Smith

posts: 75   ·   registered: Sep. 13th, 2016
id 7701044
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 12:38 PM on Monday, November 7th, 2016

You're welcome. Bump for the foggies.

Guys if you cling to "it was love" then it neatly absolves you of guilt (not really but you'll believe it does.. that's what's been fed to you by rom coms) so it's hard to reject that. But if you do, it will help. A lot.

The word glory means "an accurate estimate or opinion of" and it usually pertains to God and I believe everyone has a glory that reflects their Creator. and the truth is in other humans we can be drawn to a persons glory. That's why a person can be a disaster in every part of life but brilliant in their job. Because they're acting from their glory. It's a grace given to them. So what happens is we really want or need God and our thirsty hearts see a person's glory and bam. Strong attraction. Then that gets twisted and used as a snare.

Not all the time. There are as many types of As as there are people. But I think (speaking to Christians) it's a Thing. I suspect this more with those who struggle with Withdrawal for long periods.

[This message edited by Maia at 6:46 AM, November 7th (Monday)]

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7702575
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Fallen40 ( new member #54327) posted at 6:16 PM on Wednesday, November 9th, 2016

Maia,

Thank you for that post. My A was with a man who is/was supposedly a Christian. I was the worship leader at my church, and he has a band that sings at different churches. That was his glory, I guess. He had a reputation for having As in the past, but I fell for all the sweet words and veiled promises. I find myself going through the stages you mentioned. But these days my prayer life feels debilitated. So far from God and I don't know how to get back.

posts: 6   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2016
id 7704384
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 4:47 PM on Thursday, November 10th, 2016

He is never far from you. He promised you that.

you meant it for evil but there is nothing, not the most heinous act of evil men can work, that is beyond His power to use it for good. It doesn't undo the evil. But it is redeemed. Thats what the Cross means. If you can accept that in your heart, it will help.

hugs.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7704934
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 6:02 PM on Wednesday, December 21st, 2016

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7734929
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sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 3:07 AM on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2017

bump

Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts

posts: 2425   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2014   ·   location: midwest
id 7745390
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 Maia (original poster member #8268) posted at 5:07 AM on Tuesday, February 7th, 2017

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.Psalms 34:18

posts: 6874   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: I am a Bluegrass-American
id 7778634
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sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 4:42 AM on Friday, February 17th, 2017

bump for RS

Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts

posts: 2425   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2014   ·   location: midwest
id 7787878
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sorrowfulmate ( member #43441) posted at 8:11 PM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

bump

Me-WS 52 Her-BS 51 Questioningall
5 kids DDay 12/13 (lied ONS)
Dday 3/3/14 - multiple EA, PA
TT ended in October when I had polygraph
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BS Roberts

posts: 2425   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2014   ·   location: midwest
id 7815883
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AnotherIdiot ( member #55384) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, March 24th, 2017

@Fallen

God is never far, seek him and you will find him. Prayer life and spiritual awakening do improve your world, and your character. Pray daily- make it a habit. Start with Psalm 103 and then do a Lectio Divina [active Missal reading of the scripture, participative] followed by the Our father. Meditate and contemplate some aspects of the daily reading that attract you as part of the lectio divina. Pray for guidance, help, mercy and love. Talk with God. Do this 2x a day. You will slowly stabilize and feel more secure and centered. Frameworks such as the spiritual exercises by Loyola also can help a lot.

Good luck.

posts: 130   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2016   ·   location: does not matter
id 7818076
Topic is Sleeping.
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