My son called me at around 3:30 am. He asked me if I had called the police on him. I said that, yes, based on the things he had said, I was very concerned about him. He said he said all those things just because he was upset. No shit Sherlock.
I asked him why he asked me.
Turns out he and a friend had been in an accident. 1 car. Rolled the car. DUI (his friend). No one hurt. Drugs (weed) and paraphernalia found in the car. Police were borderline about arresting him. His name popped up from a BOLO and being a missing person.
Finally, son asked me to come get him. He was not under arrest. Was waiting for me at the police station. An hour away. He sobbed the whole way home. Sometimes feeling sorry for himself, sometimes not making sense. Refused to go to the hospital. Said this was just too much on top of everything else. I told him he should be grateful that they weren’t hurt. He said he wasn’t ready to be an adult. I reminded him he was 28 years old.
He kept saying that now he was jobless and homeless. I explained that I felt very hopeful that his job would not fire him over missing one day of work. And I reminded him that all he had to do to have a home with his family was to not be disrespectful to the other people living in the home. Basic guidelines. He chose to sleep in his truck last night.
I haven’t seen him this morning. I don’t even know if he is here. Yes, I agree with you that he certainly does need to go back to the hospital where he has been before. It has always helped him. But I can’t force him to go. I don’t plan to bring up the gun. The policeman who took it away said if my son asked about it, that I needed to tell him where it was. So maybe he won’t ask me about it.
I appreciate all of your kind words and good thoughts / prayers.
Regarding my youngest son they entered his plea deal yesterday. I had promised him that I would do my very best to have myself and his father there. Husband has not seen him for 18 months. I saw him once several months ago in a court room where I couldn’t speak, just smiled at him. Anyway, because of the issues with my other son, we were unable to go. I spoke to him last night and he seems to be in a good place. (I chose not to tell him about his brother at the time.
He has approximately two more years to serve. At 85%. And hopefully some of the programs and educational classes he is a part of will mean some further time off his sentence. He goes back to court in August for sentencing, then will be put into the hands of the Bureau of Prisons. They will have last word on what educational opportunities he can avail himself of…if he can be a part of a drug program…and (holding my breath) where he will be.
The location of the prison where he will go, the classification, and the distance from our home, is foremost in my mind. But last night when I spoke with my son about it, he told me, "But, Mama, the most important thing is really how I can best educate myself and improve myself for when I get out. And not so much how far away I am." (Referring to the fact that he would rather be farther away if it meant that he could study what he wanted in order to be better prepared when he gets out.)
I can’t remember when I have felt so proud and hopeful to have been "schooled" by my young son!
I am hoping that my middle son will be close by the next time our youngest calls from jail. I’m hoping they will get to talk a little bit. They had a very rough childhood together, frequently not getting along. But they have been doing better recently, and maybe he could have something helpful to say to him.
Again thanks , as usual, for being here for me.