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Newest Member: trustingyou

New Beginnings :
Well, that didn't turn out as planned!

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devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 1:38 AM on Wednesday, July 27th, 2022

Good on you for telling him that you were waiting for the hormones to chill a bit.

Also, congrats on things going great!

Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.

posts: 5144   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2014   ·   location: Central USA
id 8747346
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 Solarchick (original poster member #80222) posted at 4:31 AM on Monday, August 1st, 2022

Well, it did end up turning out exactly the way I expected it to. He dumped me on Friday. Via text message. I was upset yesterday, but after I went over to his house to talk about it last night, I'm just angry right now.

Me: BW, 56, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.WXH: Not even a blip on my radar anymore. I'm glad he's messing up the OW's life now and leaving me alone. D (with cause) in 2004.

posts: 91   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8747862
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 2:51 PM on Monday, August 1st, 2022

Just 5 days till the two-month mark. He's set for life. I'm not as optimistic, but he is still the nicest guy I've ever dated. I may end up keeping him.


Well, it did end up turning out exactly the way I expected it to. He dumped me on Friday. Via text message.


I'm always leary of those that are so sure, so fast at our ages. Once you've been around the block a few times you realize that nothing is that easy and jumping right into the deep end is either a sign of ADHD of relationships or lack of depth of their feelings..
Sorry Solar.

posts: 1313   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8747889
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 Solarchick (original poster member #80222) posted at 3:56 PM on Monday, August 1st, 2022

I agree grubs. I was leery of how quickly he was so sure I was the one and how fast he was declaring love for me. It seems he falls in and out of love very quickly. I need to know that guys that do that don't mean it.

This fucker was good. He backed up his words with actions.

Time to go update my copy of How to Navigate Life. Again.

Me: BW, 56, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.WXH: Not even a blip on my radar anymore. I'm glad he's messing up the OW's life now and leaving me alone. D (with cause) in 2004.

posts: 91   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8747892
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straightup ( member #78778) posted at 11:14 PM on Monday, August 1st, 2022

Damn. Just sitting here flabbergasted.

Your authenticity leaps off the screen solarchick. People already see it and will continue to.

As soon as I read your post, the story ‘Kafka and the Doll: the pervasiveness of loss’ popped back into my head. It’s a short and good read if nothing else, whether or not it is apocryphal. The is a HuffPost article you can Google if you want to read it.

In case you don’t the punchline is: "Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way."

Now if you will forgive me a typically Australian moment: ‘that bloke is an f’ing Galah!’

Keep up the good fight solarchick.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
Mother Teresa

posts: 169   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2021   ·   location: Australia
id 8747950
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 Solarchick (original poster member #80222) posted at 9:05 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

Ok, so I got mad and stayed mad long enough to unhide my OLD profile. My expectations were less than zero. But hey, it's distracting to window shop.

Less than 48 hours later, I was messaging an amazing man. We met last night, and boy did the sparks fly. Dinner at a very cool restaurant, a long walk on the beach, and one HOT makeout session. Best first date ever! We are 11 days apart in age. (He's older. laugh ) We have so many things in common. This may not have started out as planned, but I could not be happier! I am so excited to see where this may go. Oh, and let me just add that he's 6'4". Pardon me while I swoon for a moment.

On another note, yesterday before my date, the "nicest guy ever" called me and told me he was in a bind and could I come over to the job he was working on and help him out. So I did. He was nasty and snippy and made a snide comment when I told him I had to leave at 3:00 because I had plans. I don't know where the guy I dated has gone, but I'm very very glad I'm not going to end up with him.

Then his mom texted me because the NGE's birthday is today, asking me what he and I were doing for his birthday. It broke my heart because she really liked me, and she never likes his girlfriends. Can I keep her and stay dumped by him? I really liked her too. She was fun.

Why does everything in my life seem to happen at once?

Me: BW, 56, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.WXH: Not even a blip on my radar anymore. I'm glad he's messing up the OW's life now and leaving me alone. D (with cause) in 2004.

posts: 91   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8748224
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 9:18 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

Then his mom texted me because the NGE's birthday is today, asking me what he and I were doing for his birthday. It broke my heart because she really liked me, and she never likes his girlfriends. Can I keep her and stay dumped by him? I really liked her too. She was fun.

I meant to ask about your interactions with his family. Like were you one of many GFs he brought along and were there any Long term ones in his past. Lack of those would be another red flag. I don't think I brought any GF to a family function until we had been dating for over six months. How did she take the news? Was she surprised that you were the one telling her?

On another note, yesterday before my date, the "nicest guy ever" called me and told me he was in a bind and could I come over to the job he was working on and help him out. So I did. He was nasty and snippy and made a snide comment when I told him I had to leave at 3:00 because I had plans. I don't know where the guy I dated has gone, but I'm very very glad I'm not going to end up with him.

Less than 48 hours later, I was messaging an amazing man. We met last night, and boy did the sparks fly. Dinner at a very cool restaurant, a long walk on the beach, and one HOT makeout session. Best first date ever! We are 11 days apart in age. (He's older. laugh ) We have so many things in common.

Not to be a debbie downer but it's rather easy to be a prefect SO early on. As you found with out NGE, those who are pretending can only keep up the act for so long.

[This message edited by grubs at 9:19 PM, Thursday, August 4th]

posts: 1313   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8748226
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 Solarchick (original poster member #80222) posted at 10:28 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

Oh grubs, I don't know if this new man will work out or not. I'm just still celebrating a really good date. We'll see.

I know that even former pastors have issues. (He's one.)

Who knew I had so much optimism in me? laugh

Me: BW, 56, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.WXH: Not even a blip on my radar anymore. I'm glad he's messing up the OW's life now and leaving me alone. D (with cause) in 2004.

posts: 91   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8748237
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 10:54 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2022

Who knew I had so much optimism in me?


There's a certain power in knowing that even if the worst happens you'll survive and thrive. Because you've done it.

posts: 1313   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8748240
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 Solarchick (original poster member #80222) posted at 8:07 PM on Friday, August 5th, 2022

O.M.G. The "NGE" had left his power washer here, and kept telling me that he'd be over to pick it up. So I'd put it out in the driveway, and he wouldn't pick it up. So I'd put it back in the garage each night so it wouldn't get stolen, text him that I had done so, and put it out again in the morning. Well, he started using that as an excuse to get me texting him. He just wasn't picking the damn thing up. But we'd have a short chit-chat each evening.

Last night, he accused me of cheating on him because he assumed that I was looking for the new guy before he dumped me. Yeah, it was fast, and I did not expect to meet somebody new in like a day and a half, but I didn't unhide my profile until after he made it abundantly clear that we would never reconcile. And he called me a piece of shit. I was so done!!! So I blocked him on my phone.

Today, I start thinking about this game that he's been playing with me, and remembered that when we were first dating, his ex-girlfriend still had some stuff at his house. He was perfectly OK with her coming by and picking up a few things every couple of days. I told him very clearly that the situation was not ok with me and he needed to get all of her stuff out of the house and stop talking to her.

I did some basic math and figured out that he was leaving the door open to restarting a relationship with her while he was starting a relationship with me! Obviously, I have a VERY strong opinion about this kind of behavior.

So I unblocked him today and texted him to get his ass over here in an hour to pick up his power washer or I would put it on the FB marketplace. AND I let him know that I had figured out about him leaving the option open with the ex. And then I set him proof that I did not make contact the new guy until 3 days after he dumped me. I was on fire.

I set an hour timer on my phone.

65 minutes later, he was loading his stuff into his truck. I did not talk to him.

He is 100% out of my life and I am very grateful that I dodged that bullet!

I have all sorts of adrenaline running around my system right now that I need to get rid of. Maybe I'll go out and pick up my car a few times. laugh

ETA: Yeah, I blocked him on my phone again.

[This message edited by Solarchick at 8:11 PM, Friday, August 5th]

Me: BW, 56, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.WXH: Not even a blip on my radar anymore. I'm glad he's messing up the OW's life now and leaving me alone. D (with cause) in 2004.

posts: 91   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Hilton Head, SC
id 8748434
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66charger ( member #69471) posted at 5:23 AM on Saturday, August 6th, 2022

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

[This message edited by 66charger at 5:28 PM, Saturday, August 6th]

posts: 322   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2019
id 8748496
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