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Newest Member: Ganon27

New Beginnings :
So...an update

This Topic is Archived
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 2:37 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

on the break up.

on DS having a BB, and that it’s started out great for him!!!!

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8415965
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 2:53 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

Oh for God's sake! Asshat called you expecting sympathy!? He should get a tattoo on his forehead that says "I'm a Loser"

Lilies, so good to see this post. You are a superstar!

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8415974
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 2:55 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

Thanks for the update, Lillies. It was very good to hear from you. It's wonderful about the end of your treatment and how DS is doing. You rock!

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8415976
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 lilies21 (original poster member #35833) posted at 3:23 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

Thanks, everyone!

I had my appointment yesterday and I've been declared cancer free . My doc is great but the appointment itself just seemed...strange. You're done with treatments. Schedule your next mammogram. Bye. I wasn't expecting a parade but heck...can't cancer come with a free t-shirt or something? All I did to mark the occasion was to hit a drive thru for a milkshake before running errands and taking DS to his tennis lesson. My dad always said everything happens for a reason. I don't know the reason for this yet except to meet my out of pocket with my insurance for the first time.

As far as the situation with Asshat... . Asshat text me on Friday night asking if we could meet at a park the next day and have DS watch the babies so Asshat and I could talk about the future. Ahh...what? My reply: I only need to know where he's living and with whom, he can still contact me the next day regarding making arrangements for him to see DS. Dead silence until yesterday: he moved back in and they're "trying to work it out." Likely translation: he didn't want to be homeless so he's kissing her ass. The drama with them makes me oh so happy to be single. I had to tell DS last night since Asshat gets him tonight and DS just shook his head and rolled his eyes. I hate having to send him there tonight without knowing what he's walking into but very glad he has a phone now and knows he can call or text me anytime.

Me: BS, 30s.
One son.
Many D-Days for excessive porn, Craigslist ads, and EAs/PAs.
Happily divorced since September 2015.

posts: 3875   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2012
id 8416165
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 4:16 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

Yay on cancer free! It does seem like you should get some sort of acknowledgement... I think a milkshake is perfect.

And your asshat is about a delusional as mine. Meet and talk about the future while DS babysits? And I'm not surprised he went running back to what's-her-name. Too bad she took him back but we all know THAT won't last.

Isn't it nice that that isn't your life anymore? I think that every time ex-asshat has some drama.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8416190
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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 4:35 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

Didn't you get to ring the bell? That's a tradition in most hospitals.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 8416202
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 lilies21 (original poster member #35833) posted at 1:29 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019

Too bad she took him back but we all know THAT won't last.

I'll actually hope it does since it's better the devil you know . He could come up with someone worse next time, especially since he would be worse off than when he first met this one and the next one would have to be even more desperate. From what DS says, she basically treats him like a ghost and never talks to him unless he needs to clean up after them or watch the babies. No, I don't like my son being treated that way and would like to hurt things with fire but the next one could be much, much worse. It's a sad situation when the only bright side is your son isn't being physically abused.

Didn't you get to ring the bell? That's a tradition in most hospitals.

Nope, no bell. I've heard about them but they didn't have one where I was treated. We have an actual cancer center in our city and I imagine it has a bell but mine wasn't serous enough to be treated at that center.

[This message edited by lilies21 at 7:30 AM, August 7th (Wednesday)]

Me: BS, 30s.
One son.
Many D-Days for excessive porn, Craigslist ads, and EAs/PAs.
Happily divorced since September 2015.

posts: 3875   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2012
id 8416626
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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 10:49 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2019

This is all awesome news Lillies.

The drama with them makes me oh so happy to be single.

Somehow I always knew you would get to this point. You've come such a long way. You've done a fantastic job with your son.

posts: 1736   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8417428
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:11 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2019

My ex called me for advice after he had cheated on his girlfriend . . . before our divorce was final . . . he was filling me in on some of their drama and I told him that if the price of admission for a relationship is that kind of drama, I would choose to be single forrrrrever. That's how they roll (STILL together!) But it isn't for me.

So happy about the cancer-free status!!!!! Nice!!!

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 8417751
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NEPAlady ( new member #66411) posted at 12:50 AM on Saturday, August 10th, 2019

...he was a missing person who nobody missed at all

Goodbye Earl!

BS
Dday 2/16/17
25 years

posts: 33   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Poconos
id 8418017
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million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 2:28 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2019

Cancer free, what fantastic news!!!!!! On to survivorship!

Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

posts: 2040   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2010   ·   location: MD
id 8418163
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northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 3:58 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2019

Congratulations on being cancer free.

The only person you can change is yourself.

posts: 4263   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2014
id 8418191
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 3:05 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2019

Congrats on being Cancer free. Yippie!

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 8419306
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 lilies21 (original poster member #35833) posted at 2:18 PM on Thursday, August 29th, 2019

Thanks, everyone . My work broke their streak of giving us only healthy treats by getting me a cake to celebrate the occasion so something good came out of all this: chocolate .

No other real updates to report except my car seems to have felt left out: DS and I have been to the doctor quite a bit this year so my car apparently wanted attention too and has been at the mechanic the last few days. She (yes, my car is a she and her name is Mia) turned ten this year though so she's bound to start having issues. New neighbors moved in above me and they sound like a heard of hippos. Asshat is back to playing happy little family and leaving me the heck alone.

Somehow I always knew you would get to this point. You've come such a long way. You've done a fantastic job with your son.

Thanks, Charity411. I am definitely happy being single, especially when I hear parents bickering over the littlest things at DS's events. I will admit I still get little twinges of longing, like when the new neighbors bought a grill and they were so excited to take it out of their truck and carry it upstairs together. I bought new cubbie shelves for DS's room a couple of months ago and I had to get two smaller units instead of the big one I wanted because I didn't have anyone to help me get it up the stairs. Little things like that. On the bright side though, I learned last week how to replace a dishwasher filter by myself so yay, me!

...he was a missing person who nobody missed at all

Goodbye Earl!

Yes!!!!

[This message edited by lilies21 at 8:18 AM, August 29th (Thursday)]

Me: BS, 30s.
One son.
Many D-Days for excessive porn, Craigslist ads, and EAs/PAs.
Happily divorced since September 2015.

posts: 3875   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2012
id 8428972
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nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 8:25 PM on Friday, August 30th, 2019

Chocolate is a healthy treat, isn't it?

So glad for the great update. DS is probably back at school now? Routine is great for kids. Glad you are enjoying your new place.

Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23

posts: 1301   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2016   ·   location: Illinois
id 8429806
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deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 5:27 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2019

Yay to the cancer free!!!!

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3352   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8431189
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