SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

SD- Respectfully, the only relevant question is -did she remember that she was married to you when she f***ed other men?

SD- Respectfully, the only relevant question is -did she remember that she was married to you when she f***ed other men?

Either way she is not safe.

SD, your body is beginning to break down. It reacts to stress as a deer to a wolf. RUN! but you can’t because you have children and a marriage of sorts. Every time your body(mind) is bombarded with a stressor it goes straight to fight or flight. Hormones that could get you up a tree from a bear flood your system. They do the job short term but those same hormones become toxic as hell if you are constantly being hit. Over time your body begins to disintegrate. How do I know? An unbelievable stressful job now has me on medication that stays in my purse in case of need. Whatever you decide do so on the idea that life will become less stressful, not more so. I don’t know if your wife can change. Her behavior shows that she never got out of childhood. Chaos in a family takes its toll. Look at your daughter. Be the dad. Be proactive. Good luck.

SD, how are you holding up?

SD, how are you holding up?

Not so great.

Psychiatrist has me on seroquel. I've stopped the xanax and klonopin. Still getting over the benzo-withdrawals.

The start-up I was hired by went under due to coronavirus and lack of liquidity.

A-season is upon us.

I'm once again jobless and cooped up.

young, jobless, but being hired shows other employers will.

i am old, outdated skills, recovering from injury, job search

will be brutal for me.

Be strong, take care and good luck with the job hunting.

One day at a time.

Buffer

I too lost my job. Cabinetmaker, worked at a boatyard that services yachts in GA...been out of work 2 weeks. Life goes on as it will not as we'd have it. You'll find other work once this is Wuhan Virus scare is over.

Oldtruck

i am old, outdated skills, recovering from injury, job search

will be brutal for me.

I'm truly sorry to hear that. I hope and pray for you that those fears are projected from within and don't become proven fact.

Buffer,

Be strong, take care and good luck with the job hunting.

One day at a time.

I'm trying, man... I can't job-search right now but I'm pushing each day to press through the cabin fever... my IC isn't currently available due to COVID19. Every day is an increased challenge because every day is blurred into one.

I keep hearing about people I know/knew dying from COVID19 of all ages. The numbers in the county I live in are astronomical, especially given the fact that less than a total of 13k people have been tested. Last year, I thought I'd have the absolute worst Passover ever... looks like that's actually going to be this year.

I too lost my job. Cabinetmaker, worked at a boatyard that services yachts in GA...been out of work 2 weeks. Life goes on as it will not as we'd have it. You'll find other work once this is Wuhan Virus scare is over.

I'm sorry to hear that, Redwing.

As a cabinetmaker, is there something you can pivot into for now that's in context of COVID19?

Perhaps servicing FD or PD stations as a volunteer to keep busy or perhaps even get paid for?

At this point, I kind of almost wish I were a gas attendant.

What I REALLY wish is to be able to volunteer as an EMT-B, however, I pet that lapse when we got married (irony haha) and also... I would probably come up positive if I were to get tested for volunteering. Don't want to run that risk, otherwise WW won't be able to work either.

I'm a day late to this SD and I just finished reading your wife's thread, I have to say you are a far stronger man than anyone I have ever met.

I tend to roll my eyes and sigh when I read what waywards say, do and how they treat/treated their SO, but I can't even begin to wrap my head around what your WW did.

While I cant share my opinion, I do you wish you well in however you go forward, your personal hell is far beyond what mine was.

Just crying after singing along with the ending of what has always been one of my favorite broadway shows...

... and remember the words that once were spoken, "to love another person is to know the face of Gd...

Unfortunately, I no longer believe those words have the same meaning to me as they did all of my life. No worries though, Broadway is dead & that show died well before Broadway did.

SD,

You ok?

Hang in there

Stay strong

And do what is best for YOU!

SD,

It's really surprising how some line spoken in a movie, play, novel etc can just make all of life go quiet, as if it was audible only to you.

In the movie "no country for old men" the wifes attitude towards her husband in the last scene was painful to see. It seemed like a woman who lived with her husband and was comfortable with him but no longer loved him, and he never knew it until that moment.

I felt that way with the affair my WW had before marriage her love for me died I didn't get the message for 25 years.

So. Today marks one year since the final TT-DDay.

It was hard to trudge into work today, but I did, albeit late due to a sleepless (yet oddly dream-filled) night.

Regardless, I accomplished a few simultaneous milestones and today was the 30th day of employment so that's pretty legit. I ended up feeling the darkness and exhaustion coming on earlier than my official end of day, so I did the smart thing - I went home early.

I didn't know what exactly to expect for today, as it's about a month before the 2nd antiversary for DDay 1 while being the antiversary of DDay 6, but at least I was prepared and willing to acknowledge immediately when the day would go dark.

I guess this is just more proof to all of us that struggle one day at a time that things do get better if we allow ourselves to get better. I'm nowhere near 100% capability as of yet, but I'm far better off than I was at this time last year.

The support I've received here has been a lifesaver multiple times for me and (sadly) I know I'm not totally out of the woods just yet but it feels pretty good to be out of the caverns.

Once covid dies down maybe I'll even be able to start seeing my IC again, but at least my psychiatrist (who I didn't really have a need for until reeling from DDays' aftermath) does virtual visits.

SD,

Glad you are improving, perhaps improving may be all we can really attain, recovery like perfection being a idea more so than a reality.

Funny you should mention dreams, 30+ years later I still get them, recently they have been of the type where my W gets married secretly to someone else while she is married to me. The dreams are upsetting for a few days. Our sub-conscious never forgets.

SD - I am glad to hear from you and glad that things are getting better. It sounds like you are on a positive trajectory. Well done!

Welcome back SD,

Sorry it’s that time of year for you again, have to say though like you said you are doing much better, you sound better & more optimistic.

One day at a time.

Yes, I felt my d day again at the turn of the year as well. We do the best we can.

Tonight was better. I laughed and laughed with my nephew. Signed up again for online classes to keep my brain busy. One day at a time and trying to keep focused on long term goals.

Nice to see you again. Winter and covid is a special challenge.

I guess this is just more proof to all of us that struggle one day at a time that things do get better if we allow ourselves to get better. I'm nowhere near 100% capability as of yet, but I'm far better off than I was at this time last year.

Bravo! I had the annual thing also the first year after. It's weird how the light of the day, feel of the air etc. even reminds us. I am a few years out now and if questions arise on the date and even year of D-day or even the date of my divorce, I have to really think about it. It's like it just got crowded out with my new thought patterns. You will get there, like you said, one day at a time. Sometimes progress will seem to jump ahead, and a few times as I'm sure you've seen, it will seem to take a step back a bit, but in the end you just keep moving forward.

Take care.

What has she been doing to help you heal? Has she found a neurologist yet to look into the cause of her memory losses?