SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dude, you need a lawyer like yesterday!!!

Get all your financial paperwork together and have it ready for a few lawyer consults ASAP.

File for D as soon as you can and get her out of your life, you're nothing but a paycheck to her.

If you can file for fault (infidelity) in your state, do so. Do everything you can to ID her loser fuckbuddy and if possible, sue him for alienation of affection.

She is not your friend or soulmate, she gave you herpes and you didn't even know...get rid of her like yesterday's trash.

Oh and I forgot about the Alaskan cruise and trying to get the Security Guard dismissed.

Now words do fail....run!

Phone privacy????? after this???

No way. She sounds like too much to deal with. Phone her parents and ask for their help. I am not sure you should take her on.....she has no boundaries.

If you were my brother....I would tell you to put a pin in this. I am usually pro-reconciliation but reading this makes me feel very concerned for you.

[This message edited by Smillie at 7:19 PM, August 19th (Saturday)]

Dear Monotone, please go be somewhere safe with family if possible, or even a motel room. This is a potentially dangerous situation. At the very least get legal archival of the insurance thing and the security guard material.

Second all the alert the authorities and get some where safe responses you've gotten.

Monotone,

I am lost as to next steps.

1. You must see an attorney to see what your rights are.

2. You must take step to immediately protect the security guard's job. She will make a false accusation against him to get him fired. She ensure that it is not on tape.

I would ask him for his supervisor's name. First ask the supervisor if there are back up tapes. Not to check out her story, because it is a lie from beginning to end. And not to see the extent of her betrayal. Believe the people here when they say she is one of the more malignant, malevolent cheaters ever seen here.

Tell the supervisor that you are impressed with the level of security he provides. Tell the supervisor that your W has brought someone in to the community that you now realize is untrustworthy (understatement, ya think?).

He showed me very clear footage of that incident and also one earlier in the week when the man came to our door and my wife let him in

***This must mean that he has a key card***.

You asked for concrete steps on what to do. Meet with and attorney and Security immediately.

Your devastated. But man, I hope some righteous anger hits you. Not blind rage that goes nowhere and does nothing but further harm you. But righteous anger that fuels you into taking action.

Monotone,

May I ask why the tone of your posts are not more angry? You insert, "haha" in several places and almost seem to make light of some of the circumstances? I'm a new BS and I find it hard to understand your calm demeanor about this whole situation? Not a criticism, just a question?

In light of the level of the extreme betrayal, please consider that a R with this type of person, with this much lying, just isn't possible!

And as to kissing a man in a bar right before you get married because of butterflies.."this is common". Umm, NO WAY is it "common" for a bride to be to be engaging in this kind of behavior. In fact, it's down right uncommon. A bride to be should be in love and excited about her finance! If she is kissing someone else during the phase she is supposed to be excited and in love with her fiancé...huge RED flags.

Please, please listen to everyone here. She is not worth R'ing with at this point. She is using you and your money to fund her adultery.

I'm so sorry you're here.

The advice here has been uniform and I hope you follow it immediately.

You need to see a lawyer and file. Your WW is not R material. She's a liar and serial cheater and I doubt she's been faithful at all during your M.

She brought her AP on your cruise and had dinner with you every night? Who does that???

I hope you take decisive action and get on with your life.

Good luck.

Ok. You posted so many red flags and glided past them that I came to a point where I was sure this is someone's idea of a joke. Assuming it is not, you may be the most passive BH ever to arrive here.

You have read the healing library, right?

If so, you know that your first task is to get out of infidelity. You are not remotely inR. You start by taking control over you life. You do that by taking back control over YOUR life. Not letting her call the shots.

Step 1, get you hands on her phone and run an analysis. If she kicks, then tell her to pack a bag and leave.

Step 2, contact the security company and tell them that no matter what your wife tells them, it is a lie.

Step 3, tell her if she does not have a job in 48 hours you will D her used ass. If she balks, see the response in step 1.

Step 4, see a lawyer and begin D proceedings. Do not tell her.

Begin the process of mannng up. It is the only way you have a chance of saving yourself. You lost your WW a long time ago.

Dude

I've seen a lot of shitty deals, but your's take the cake.

Man, the lovers are making deceitful plans even as you visit SI.

She sees you as a first class sucker, a walking wallet.

Get out, and get out fast.

Run.

PS--cancel that life insurance policy IMMEDIATELY, and tell her so.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 11:01 PM, August 19th (Saturday)]

Gently here monotone how experienced are you with women ? Is she your first & maybe only ?? I only say this because I'm genuinely concerned for your safety physically & emotionally.

I think when you see what's really been going on and for how long it is going to be very devastating to you. I just want - we all want - to try and prepare you for that.

some of the 1st steps you need to do are get in a safe place - now - you need to block her from all access to your money - now - seek good legal counsel - now - make sure those security tapes are safe as well as that guard - now -any electronic devices you have need to be replaced & unattached from her in anyway - if they can't be replaced they need to be checked over by a puter specialist now and cleaned up and then locked so she can't get in. Whatever it is that you are paying for her get's stopped now.

I cannot imagine how overwhelming and unbelievable this all must be for you. I am sure when you came here you did not think your story was going to cause this reaction. Trust me and the others when we tell you have gotten the best advice you can get - and you should act on it - now.

Forged seems like your best option to help you - someone is going to need to help wade through all this - you need a wing man someone you can trust - someone who is tough who tells it like it is - takes no bullshit ....I'm am just so very sorry for you. I hope you are ok and I hope you are heading our advice.

We are being harsh with the 2x4's because we understand where this can go - and it can go there quickly w/o warning.

(((monotone)))

This is one of the worst stories I have read here.

In your HOME? In your BED? On your cruise??

Dude, she needs to go, and with a quickness. There is nothing here to save.

BS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:15 PM, November 5th (Sunday)]

There has been a lot of good advice given to you.

The only thing I would add is if you really want to get out of infidelity quickly and you need definitive answers as to who your wife is, go get a voice activated recorder. Say nothing to anyone about it. Use it and I somehow don't think it will take you long to figure out what you are dealing with.

Sorry you had to join our club but knowledge is powe.

I agree with the others.

Lawyer up.

Cancel your insurance.

She is a serial cheater.

She's using you.

God only knows if the OM will do something to hurt you.

Take action. Get her out of your life. Stay vigilant, I would NOT trust her. She is seriously unstable.

So sorry.

I can't even....

Divorce her. Right. F-ing. Now.

Wanted to add:

Do NOT tell her about this site. This is YOUR safe space.

Post here to let us know you're safe, Monotone.

"Obviously I want to get to R and as quickly as I can" Very BAD idea

Monotone how can you reconcile with your WW who has lied to you and continues lying to you?

The security guard has your back NOT your WW. Think about this 1.The video camera footage that caught him so many times going into your house, and caught him with his hands down your WW's blouse going through the gate and have been having sex in your bed 2.Your WW using your money yo buy him a ticket on the same cruise that you and your WW was on in hopes of R? 3.Her allowing him to sit at the same table where you were dining with your wife ever so frequently during the cruise (each of you sitting on either side of WW) while you had conversations with this man while she sat there knowing he was the OM 3. WW using every opportunity to sleep with him while on the cruise while attempting R (at least from your perspective) 4.WW claims she does not know the man and has no contact information for him. Monotone you know she is lying. Please press the pause button where R is concerned (foryour own sake)

Forget about the blatant disregard and disrespect and betrayal. This woman is very dangerous. Just imagine what else could have happened to you on that cruise. You need to kick her out of the house and in the meanwhile be talking to a divorce attorney.