SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Monotone, we are still here for you. Check in... :)

I really think you need to reconsider how much you just believe everything she says.

Yes. Monotone, please research "confirmation bias". It's not uncommon for a newbie to see things differently than an "experienced" betrayed spouse.

Please be cautious. Don't underestimate the amount of darkness hiding behind her facade. She demonstrated a unique golden globe ability to carry on with the affair literally across the dining table from you. This is extra dark IMO.

Weigh her actions, not her words. When she speaks, consider what motivates her to say what she says.

I admit I haven't read this entire thread, just skimmed the posts. But there's no way this is real. Some troll is having a good time making up a story, and having a laugh at the expense of those who have truly been hurt by infidelity. Terrible.

Nobody would believe a WW after this level of betrayal, and this much solid proof. Seriously. I just can't believe that any halfway intelligent person would tolerate this kind of treatment from a WS. No way. (and I guess I must add, Monotone if this is really a true story, please get some IC. Please get some help to understand why you would take this). But I'm not buying it.

Monotone-

Some are pointing out your lack of emotion after discovering such horrendous betrayal by your wife. I would like to say that I understand this. On my DD, I walked in on my WH and his OW (who happened to be someone I knew very well) and didn't yell, scream, make threats or even cry. I didn't say anything at first, and then I calmly asked a bunch of questions. I was in shock. I think this may be the case with you.

But as for the other things SI members here have mentioned, I agree. Your WW has to want to be open and honest and transparent if you even have a chance at R. Nothing about her words or actions reflect that. And the fact that her OM knows where you live, knows when you're home and not, has access to your gated community, and has been seen casing your neighborhood is very scary. Whether or not your WW is violent or has any ill intent in harming you, this OM may. Please be careful.

[This message edited by Joypursuit at 8:50 PM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

staystrong101, you have a pm

edited

[This message edited by Used2bhappy10 at 8:00 AM, August 25th, 2017 (Friday)]

Monotone, did you at least speak with the Security Guard's supervisor so that his job won't be in jeopardy?

It's against the guidelines to call anyone out for trolling.

If he is legit, then we should help. If he's not, then let a mod handle it.

I remember my early days. I believed my husband because I wanted to. Everyone else could easily see what was going on from the outside. But me in the middle of it, I could only see what I wanted to see.

Little Turtle - I too remember that well. I defended my FWS ferociously to anyone who suggested she was cheating. I just kept saying "no, she wouldn't do that. I know her." Seems the saddest part of this for all of us is how little we knew.

I don't know if this thread is fake, like a lot I have had my doubts. But I also wonder if I had posted my own story at the start, with all the ridiculous things I thought and would have posted, if others wouldn't have called me a troll too.

I just hope that if this is true, that OP hasn't felt unable to come back.

While the reaction can be put off to shock, I think what caused me to doubt was how this followed a tv script. Like a PP said, his wife must have watched the show and decided to reenact.

Who has a locked drawer in their nightstand? Anyone?

Listen, Twisted, it's only because we have youngish nosy kids in the house still and we both have a key

Monotone...

I hope that you are still reading.

I KNOW how absolutely surreal all of this must feel.

I went through some stuff with my ex...it wasn't pretty.

Nearly 20 years later, it still feels like a really bad Lifetime movie and not a chapter in my life that I actually lived through.

I am just so sad for you. And concerned, worried, that you're so desperate to believe every word she says and it will not end well for you.

You are not as alone as you think you are.

I wish you'd check in monotone. We care and I know I'm worried about your silence.

We want to believe our WSs because of "love bias" and, for me, I didn't want to believe she was cheating (denial) but I always had a very uncomfortable feeling which eventually (10 years later) lead to DDay1.

Please check in.

Hey Monotone, :)

When you see this please say hello. You can start a new thread too if you like. I know how shocking it can be to experience what you have, and you do need support. We all do :)

(((monotone)))