SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Deleted after wifehad5s post

[This message edited by Western at 5:29 AM, December 1st (Friday)]

Deleted after seeing wifehad5s post

[This message edited by Western at 5:30 AM, December 1st (Friday)]

"Russian mentality os full of cliches and myth"

move beyond what other people think. that's just more justification.

Can someone please enlighten me as to what the words 'mutuasl' and 'itiginal' mean? Is it English?

Thanks in advance.

Okay, Western deleted his obnoxious posts towards a poster here. I guess I'll never know what 'mutasasl' and 'itiginal' mean.

Yeah, we get it analyst russian guy. Women are not real 'people' in your community. They can be casualties or 'collateral damage'. So it's okay to victimize the OBS because she's a woman. Got it.

Perhaps you should move back home where such behavior is accepted.

[This message edited by FinallyHappy at 5:37 AM, December 1st (Friday)]

Wow. Stopped reading at page 6 or so when the affair between BS’s was cheered.

I come in here every once in a while just to read up and get a booster in my healing. Vague where I’m at. It’s been 4 years almost exactly since my life was turned upside down. I understand the pain OP and others are going through and the need/want for the other party to feel pain. I really do. But this is very disturbing and sad.

I’ve gone through hell to heal from my WH and his AP’s actions. Literal personal hell. But I choose to not remain in that hell and rise above. I feel pity for OP that he still resides there. It’s not something I would choose, but that is me.

Just for OP’s info (if he’s still here). I am a SAHM. And I have reconciled with my WH. AP has divorced and is with another man she cheated with after my WH. I briefly felt anger that she was able to find happiness after all of the damage she did. But then I felt sadness for the BS. I extended my feelings and energy to send him vibes on healing. But that’s me.

If this is how you feel, exactly WHY are you here? Just to encourage everyone to D and take down as many people in the process as possible?

This does, indeed, feel like what this forum is heading towards. R or D is a very personal choice, the drumbeat towards "R is for losers" is just as bad as the church telling me "D is for non believers".

And Analyst, how about finding a Russian forum to brag in? It is CLEAR you don't want to understand what you are doing, as you state in the first post. You refuse IC. You blame it all on your "culture'. You're not a person in your own right, what your fellow Russians think and say is all that matters. We get it.

I hope and pray that this woman throws away your card, they have a drink and discuss how lucky they (and your WW) are to have escaped your insanity. That your card makes them even closer.

So... moving away from vague feelings of forum directionality and evaluations of other posters responses....

Analyst,

What if this lady doesn't get your purpose? What if she gets these cards and goes 'well, that's nice' and never shares with her hubby?

it's called a spellchecker error FinallyHappy and I deleted those posts because of Wifehad5's warnings even though I was defending myself from an unprovoked attack

T/J over

Analyst:

I do send cards to OBS every Thanksgiving Holiday congratulating her on staying with her POS and wishing her not be cheated again by her spouse. The first time I did it really triggured her and got an email back from her WH asking me to stop. I just did not respond at that time but sent a new post card (this time before X-mas) the following year basically doing the same: ruining their holidays by bad memories. I do not consider myself to be a mean person but it does make me feel slightly better when I know that his holiday is a bit more difficult. I do question why I feel that way. Any ideas?

Curious - what is your assessment of the plethora of posts you have on your thread?

Notthevictem,

What if this lady doesn't get your purpose? What if she gets these cards and goes 'well, that's nice' and never shares with her hubby?

It is definitely a possibility but it is very unlikely. Give what other posters write chances are she will not just say 'well, that's nice'...

latebloomer45,

discuss how lucky they

Believe me my xWW does not feel that she is lucky. Now if WH ans his OBS feel they are lucky then great let them be lucky and chances are this dude will cheat again

That your card makes them even closer.

If this card makes people closer (perhaps for a short period of time) then what will bring them closer when there is no card?

I agree 100% with this statement.

"R is for losers" is just as bad as the church telling me "D is for non believers".

At the same time I can back with some statistics that more marriages do not survive the affair than do. I also liked a book written very logically and coherently called "Dump the cheater. Get a life", a best seller, mind you. You can google it. I personally am not pro D or pro R. I just feel thay it is a horrible situation either way

wow because Shirley Glass states, in her research:

most relationships survive, 90% if the cheater was the man, 80% if she cheated.

Analyst...why do you even want your ex-WW back after several year of being divorced? Have you not been able to detach from her? I think that if you took some time to explore your options, you may realize that she was no special flower.

And if those around you would have thought less of you for trying to reconcile with your WW, why would they not think less of you if you tried now after divorce? I mean if their opinions still weighs heavily upon your decisions.

most relationships survive, 90% if the cheater was the man, 80% if she cheated.

Are those percentage of relationships survive after infidelity? If that is what this Shirley states, she has some very seious miscued data.

And if those around you would have thought less of you for trying to reconcile with your WW, why would they not think less of you if you tried now after divorce? I mean if their opinions still weighs heavily upon your decisions.

t/j This I can understand, because my husband did it. Not because he cares about what other people think---he does not---but because it was the only way he felt he could get his own self-respect back. For him, having formally ended the marriage to a cheater allowed him to accept a new marriage to the same person but without the cheating.

Analyst;I read that you are thinking about reconciling with your ex, how do you think YOU will feel when HIS BW starts harassing you "because you took her back"???

Just saying whats good for the goose is good for the gander!

sewardak,

wow because Shirley Glass states, in her research:

most relationships survive, 90% if the cheater was the man, 80% if she cheated

Shirley Glass in her, excellent in my opinion book, has an agenda. She wants to help WS keep the marriage together and/ornhopefully better. Her success and the success of many MC depends upon how many marriagea survive (in whatever form) the affair.

Nothing wrong with that as long as one bears in mind the author's perspective. However, I would not rely on her statistics because obviously it is flawed.

We cannot pot links here butnif you google Infidelity dot com and look at their number then you will see the stats are not that great overall:

"Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered: 31%"

In my opinion, if we define "success" as "avoiding divorce" then chances are about 40% to 50% and much lower if a BS is male.

Chances of great relationship in those marriages that survive the affair are in single digit %. Chances of couple admitting that an affair was the best thing ever happened to them is close to zero percent.

when I typed in infidelity dot com the first site that came up was SI. when you type it in using infidelity.com there is no such site.

so, I guess there goes your statistics.

sewardak,

My appologies:

infidelityfacts dot com

I wish we could just post the link but it is against the rules...

Any comments once you review that page?