Vonblock, you had better pay close attention real quick to what advice you're getting here. Your WW is now starting the blame shift game. You need to heed the advice here and get your head together. Even as a physician, this is about saving your own life right now. Take some time if you need it away from the practice and get your house in order.
When you told your wife that you were filing, she likely ran out the door to call the OM. If you would have placed a VAR in her car, you would have had your undeniable proof. Its not too late, get 2 VARs from Best Buys now. Its about $50 each. Put one in her car under her seat and record her conversations. It will give you good details on her plan, and also confirm for you that she is cheating. Put the other VAR on your body to protect you.
- She is planning on grabbing your money. Guaranteed. The buying the house, Her practice slowing down, Her saying she can't afford $400 an hour attorney, and NOW, suggesting that she get a new car. You have better start separating finances NOW. Did you already file. If you have, you need to let your attorney know, what she is planning on doing. My exWW also ran out, and bought herself 2 new cars during our D. Keep in mind, she had a brand new car we spent a full yr looking for her at the time we filed for D. She is going to demand a life style from you, and you need to handle this quickly.
- She can afford a new rental, she can afford a new car. Make sure your attorney knows that she's using to driving X, and there is no reason for her now to drive Y. They will try to inflate their lifestyle for the court/judge to show a need for higher expenses and support checks. Get on it dude.
- Take a week off of work if you need. This is not a time to dilly dally. Divorce is serious. It will require major mental strength and also major time devoted to gathering proof and paperwork at the beginning. Your attorney will handle things as they progress, but at the beginning, it does require you to provide all sorts of documentation on assets and accounts. Get on it, and take some time off if you need. You can also use this time to spend with your kids.
- Talk to your kids. They need to know the truth. Everyone will tell you that you need to speak to them in an age appropriate manner. No need for details, but the truth will help you down the road. No judge will punish you for speaking the honest truth to the kids, just make sure its a simple kid rated version.
- Take time out for your kids. Self explanatory. their world is about to implode. Be there for them, and comfort them. Make sure they know that they can come to you for anything. Maybe set them up for IC at some point in the future.
- Get the financial records from your wifes practice ASAP. You don't want her messing with those.
- Don't forget that the Nanny may have info for you. After all, she's been around when you haven't. Don't be surprised if she knows about the BF.
I agree with Buster and the others. I can see this women going for the jugular later. She is slowly realizing that you are not putting up with her shit, and her lifestyle is going to take a bit hit. She isn't likely to go down easily. Get your proof with the VAR and PI, and hold those cards close to the chest. You can always throw out that you know about the BF, use this name. She will run and tell him in a conversation in her car, and you'll get all that on the VAR.