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[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:28 AM, October 16th (Friday)]

I got the PI

You all were so correct!!!!!. I found the other man and he lives in the same area as the rental home she wanted me to invest in with her. She knew I wasn't going to do it, so she said she was going to buy the home and rent it out. Now I know why, she is going to move into that home after she divorces me. Have the guy nearby then 6 months later , look at the new man I met who is so wonderful. She can show she wasn't a cheater.

Good job on hiring the PI, did the PI get this OM info or did you find it online or followed him/them ?

A few things brother. If she purchases the investment property whilst still in a marriage then it becomes a marriage asset and debt. Even if she has used her funds only. Check with your lawyer on this. Have her served ASAP. Preferably at her office.

The children need to be the top priority in this. They need to know that mum has hurt dad. They don’t need to know of her infidelity’s.

Family and friends well that is another story. Expose to all when ready.

If she has used her funds from her office to support her affairs then she could be looking at civil action from her office partners.

The POS who has no problem seducing a married mother with little children. Shine a light on him. Expose his ways to his wife, gf, significant other life long partner. Tell her she has to be tested for STDs.

Seek legal advice regarding a morality clause in the separation. No POS sleep overs when the children are there.

He may be using your wife to get to your children. I do not trust him or her.

One day at a time.

Buffer

[This message edited by Buffer at 7:44 PM, August 20th (Thursday)]

I found it online, PI is going to investigate who he is.

should I get the PI to finish his job 1st, I am meeting with him soon.

File — don’t wait for the PI to finish. Once you file, your wife won’t be able to purchase that investment property. It effectively freezes either of you from making any large purchases. I made the mistake of waiting one week too long, and my ex bought a house through an LLC for his skank. I could’ve prevented that purchase until after we had settled our financials if I hadn’t hesitated.

We hate being right around here.

File, my friend. IMMEDIATELY. You need to get away from any more financial entanglements with your WW. She's only thinking about herself.

Once filed, expose her to EVERYONE and tell the OM's wife. Then step away from the blast zone.

Let the PI collect any more evidence. You have all you need to file.

Protect yourself and your kids.

should I get the PI to finish his job 1st, I am meeting with him soon.

Yes get more information, couple more days will not hurt!

Just make the papers ready to be filed, once you're ready and happy with the information you have then file and serve her, just ask your lawyer to have every thing ready to serve her with divorce papers!

After you file continue to use the PI to get more information..

Once you file, expose to both your families and every one else!

[This message edited by Kaliber at 4:32 AM, August 20th (Thursday)]

Does your attorney think there's an advantage to filing immediately vs waiting to next Monday and give the PI more time to get some photos?

For example, photos of them together in public at a park or the mall, or hugging/kissing in a car outside a restaurant.

Photos prior to being served is more embarrassing to her than photos after she's served.

Can you access your wife's financial transactions?

She may be lending him money or buying him expensive presents or paying for restaurants. All stuff you may be able to recover in divorce.

When you do serve her:

- the same day just before you serve her separate your bank accounts and change your life insurance

- have a VAR on you at all times to record anything she says to you (and to deflect charges of domestic abuse)

- consider inviting a neutral friend/relative to visit for a few days (to watch the kids) after she's served to act as a witness and discourage a charge of domestic abuse

[This message edited by Robert22205https at 7:32 AM, August 20th (Thursday)]

When she's served:

- never not reveal your source of information or exactly how much you know (the uncertainty of how much you know creates a lot of 'concern' on her part; plus it gives you a negotiating advantage right from D day 1)

- cheaters will only admit to what they think you already know (so don't give her details - stay high level: I know and have proof that you've been committing adultery with XYZ for over a year (or whenever she pulled away).

- She will contact the OM so be sure the PI is standing by ...

When she's served be prepared for:

Extreme damage control behavior:

- anger

- possibly a domestic violence charge to save her reputation and justify her behavior

- minimizing the relationship as just friends

- blaming you for not paying enough attention or other nonsense from an endless list

- desperately seek to find out exactly what you know and how you found out

You can file for D and have her served a few days later, that way the PI has more time to collect more evidence, that may come in handy during the division of assets negotiations . Undeniable proof gives you lots of leverage and many times makes the WS go into "guilty mode" resulting in more favorable D terms. Once you have all the evidence from the PI, EXPOSE her with OBS and all family and close friends without warning.

You said your wife has been neglecting her practice lately. Make sure you explain to your attorney that any drop in income lately is because of this. Your attorney needs to combat this choice by her to lower her income versus a legitimate drop as you start looking at financials. Don't let her decision to focus on the OM cause you unnecessary alimony.

BTW the comment about the document review takes on a different tone now doesn't it? I wonder if this plan for the "rental" is really all about using your credit and income to get themselves a home?

Is OM married?

Von, whether or not you file today or Monday, you had got to get it going. Do not let her put a bid in on this rental home. This is the type of shit we see here all the time. The WWs are sick. Yours wants you to buy a place in the same complex as her AP.

In AHGuy's thread, his WW had him fix the AC unit in the property she was listing for the AP, so that they can have comfy sex in an otherwise cold house. That type of disrespect coming from these WW is beyond reproach.

Extricate yourself quickly from this situation. I agree with her practice as well, she been spending more time on her affair than usual, don't let that affect your alimony. Get the PI to finish the work, but don't hold off on filing.

Just a heads up.

Now that you know his name you are going to be tempted to confront her before your attorney files and/or before the PI reports.

DO NOT CONFRONT YET.

LEAVE THE ROOM IF TEMPTED. FAKE A HEADACHE NAUSEA FEVER OR WHATEVER - BUT DO NOT CONFRONT YET.

Release funds for the PI. Gather as much information on him and his wife. Is it a work place affair?

Do as your lawyer advises. Thermal nuclear ☢️ release when approval from the lawyer

One day at a time

Buffer