SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So I honestly believe that there are cases where the cheater makes the wrong decision and then would never admit it because they never want to face the "I told you so" situation.

This is case with my father as well. He knows but he can’t even admit it to himself.

I think you need to prepare yourself for any kind of reaction. From the full on genuine remorse (not likely based on what I’m seeing from your WW) to the last ditch "I’m not sure this is what I want" kind of fishing expedition.

You should also be ready for her current posture to harden and her nastiness to increase as she suffers the fallout from her choices.

Sorry Beetrain, this really sucks.

Sorry you are here, but I want to assure you that you will be better off once you are away from this person. Keep in mind that the children always gravitate towards the stable parent. Yes, I lost time with my girls when they were young that I can never get back. They are grown now. I am not the biological father of the oldest who lives 3 hours away. Just this year I will spend a month worth of time with her and the grandkids. Her mother got to eat pizza in a hotel room for a couple of hours.
My ex laughed at me at our divorce. Since then she has married and divorced again. Has lost the fully paid house she received from the divorce and her daughters rarely see her even on mothers day.
Don't be afraid of divorce. Most of us have been there.

The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 3:19 PM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2026

Plus the success rate of relationships or marriages that start as affairs is very, very low.

This is per an AI search result:

Less than 2% of relationships that start as affairs last long-term.

Specific statistical breakdowns include:

Only 3% to 7% of affairs lead to marriage.

Of those marriages, approximately 75% end in divorce.

Relationships that begin on a foundation of lies and deceit just don't tend to make it, but of all of them I'll bet 99% of them think they will.

[This message edited by Pogre at 4:32 PM, Wednesday, September 2nd]

It’s been a few days so I figured I’d respond to a few of your posts and to provide an update.

Things at home are are tense to say the least. WW and I barely talk. Seeing her makes my heart hurt each time she passes by. I know that I’m misremembering our past, but it’s like I can’t stop feeling pain and abandonment. I am doing my best with 180.

I have an attorney on retainer but have not filed yet. I have very little strength and I question my resolve and fortitude more often each day than I should. We don’t sleep together or next to each other but share the same house and living capacity.

I have an appointment with a grief counselor on Friday. I broke down and cried while booking it when I was asked for the reason of the requested session. I’m struggling.

My kids come home soon so I have that to look forward to.

Thank you everyone

No Friend, this moment is important. You will NOT fold. This is where you recognize you have value and will hold your head high and protect yourself. There is time to grieve, but she is gone, she has been gone. She has morphed into someone who is your enemy. She is not your person. But someone is ....eyes forward.

This stuff is really hard. And heart-breaking. But you need to get free of this and then you can begin to heal. Glad you are seeing a counselor.
File. Divorce takes time so it’s not the point of no return. But it does move you forward.