Kaley ( new member #87752) posted at 6:36 PM on Tuesday, September 8th, 2026
No soliciting
[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:02 PM, Tuesday, September 8th]
beetrain6 (original poster new member #87705) posted at 4:40 AM on Wednesday, September 9th, 2026
Get your wife to sit down and ask her directly; do you want to divorce (OR state clearly "I want a divorce") and then the two of you can possibly decide the next steps and how to proceed. That could be an agreement to seek mediation, decide to do as much as you can yourselves under the supervision and revision of an attorney,
I do not disagree, whatsoever, with that sentiment and advice. I just don't think I'm (or we together. are) ready to have that discussion b/c there's a ton of unresolved/swept under the rug issues that we are currently talking through (or trying to) at the moment. I do believe that the "discussion" is inevitable and will happen, just not sure when. Could be tomorrow, the next day, next week. I don't know. I wish I did, but I do not. I have been trying to leave this in God's hands, or to have him guide me in the right direction. I was 100% about to file this morning after an argument/disagreement that ensued last night. Yet, this morning, she showed empathy and remorse about it in a way that she never has before. This could all be an illusion or her way of taking back control; I don't know. But, it felt good - to finally see some accountability for a change. Needless to say, I did not file today and we went to my oldest son's first ever tackle football (Junior High) game. I stood next to her, awkwardly, but did not get too close. I wanted to. I so wanted to, but couldn't. I'm very confused w/myself right now and the situation we find ourselves in. I love my kids, but hate how I feel at times. My heart still aches, I still want to vomit when I think of my WW and her A partner. It drives me insane thinking about it. But here I am. Still living under the same roof and hating myself for not putting an "end" to everything we had/have.
TheGhost ( new member #87715) posted at 5:39 AM on Wednesday, September 9th, 2026
You sound like you are about to get sucked into the pick me dance. Please do not let her do this. She is not even love bombing you. Just the smallest even sliver of empathy or accountability had you ready to fold. This is not healthy nor good in the long run.
1. She asked for divorce prior.
2. She cheated on you god knows how many times
3. She acted cruel and petty after you found out.
4. She sort of lashed out with more cruelty when you talked to other betrayed spouse.
5. She has been cold and uncaring for most of this episode only now giving you the briefest glimpses of hope.
I can't tell you what to do I can only tell you that in all probability she is going to cheat again and eventually treat you even worse than she already has if you demand actual accountability.
[This message edited by TheGhost at 5:48 AM, Wednesday, September 9th]
